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    OAKTREE10   35,369
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints

when i am my ideal weight, and fitness, THEN i will be happy.

Friday, May 30, 2014

sound familiar? although i don't consciencly say that, i guess that must be what i am thinking. i refuse to have pictures of me, because "i look and feel so fat!" i don't want to look back at those pictures and see that i actually went out like "THAT"! emoticon i am SO "FUGLY" emoticon

i want to be totally hot and rockin' by the end of August, i am going to a DEF LEPPARD/KISS concert! emoticon ! SERIOUSLY??? do i think i can lose 47 pounds by then??? emoticon would it even be healthy??? emoticon is that the only way i can enjoy the concert? emoticon

what kind of fool am i? emoticon i wear BAGGY clothes all the time, to "hide" how fat i am. oversized t-shirts, shorts that are 2 sizes bigger than i am. one day, i actually wore something that was more fitted, and people thought i lost a TON of weight! wait, what??? wearing baggy oversized clothes make me look heavier? emoticon .

"no, i am sorry, i can't go out with you." is the answer i give so often to friends that ask me to go out with them. i am just so ashamed of my weight, and how i look, i don't think that i deserve to go out until i am fit. i must be a special kind of crazy! (LOL!) WHY would i miss all of these fun experiences because of my weight? people of all different sizes go out and have fun, every day is a gift, no one knows how many days we have, do i really want to spend them all inside until i am "perfect"?

God made me! he don't make junk! now can i get more fit? yes! but thinking that i am unworthy of having fun until i am the "right size" is not being who God made me to be!

i may not be 47 pounds lighter by the end of August emoticon , but i am gonna be more fit than i am now, and i bet i will be singing and dancing and having fun... emoticon , definitely better than staying home and moping. emoticon emoticon

i re-read a blog i wrote, some time back, "follow up to worthless and wasting time", it hit me smack in the face (in a good way), geesh, i think i better read more of other blogs i wrote! (LOL)

well, time to enjoy this moment!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
RX_2_RV 6/16/2014 10:00AM

    I like your attitude! All we have is now. We need to plan, yes. Plan to make the healthiest choices you can right now, today, and you will get there.

Enjoy the healthy and fit body that is getting more so every day. Commit to being healthy, not to being a certain weight. The weight loss is a side effect of healthful living. In order to get through the rough times...and there will be rough times... we need to focus on the ultimate goal, and that is NOT a number on a scale. It is how we feel and what we can do when we take good care of the body we have been given.

Enjoy that concert! Be healthy! Make the best choices you are capable of at the time. Love yourself, like you would your own daughter, no matter what your weight.

BTW: saw ZZ Top in since the mid-70's....haven't had that much fun in a long time! Def Leppard sounds like a BLAST!


Comment edited on: 6/16/2014 10:03:21 AM

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SUE5007 5/30/2014 7:45PM


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HOLLYM48 5/30/2014 2:28PM

    You know what to do and you are right. Live life now because each day is a gift. Take pics of yourself because those that love you want those memories. You are beautiful just the way you are!

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CCBULLDOG 5/30/2014 1:17PM

    Gosh, I can relate to so much of your blog...The bad part is I fell off the sparkwagon and now my "baggie clothes" are screaming because there to tight. emoticon You'll be a rock star at the concert no matter what size you are...every day you are a healthier version of you... emoticon And God loves that! emoticon

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