sound familiar? although i don't consciencly say that, i guess that must be what i am thinking. i refuse to have pictures of me, because "i look and feel so fat!" i don't want to look back at those pictures and see that i actually went out like "THAT"!
i am SO "FUGLY"
i want to be totally hot and rockin' by the end of August, i am going to a DEF LEPPARD/KISS concert!
! SERIOUSLY??? do i think i can lose 47 pounds by then???
would it even be healthy???
is that the only way i can enjoy the concert?
what kind of fool am i?
i wear BAGGY clothes all the time, to "hide" how fat i am. oversized t-shirts, shorts that are 2 sizes bigger than i am. one day, i actually wore something that was more fitted, and people thought i lost a TON of weight! wait, what??? wearing baggy oversized clothes make me look heavier?
"no, i am sorry, i can't go out with you." is the answer i give so often to friends that ask me to go out with them. i am just so ashamed of my weight, and how i look, i don't think that i deserve to go out until i am fit. i must be a special kind of crazy! (LOL!) WHY would i miss all of these fun experiences because of my weight? people of all different sizes go out and have fun, every day is a gift, no one knows how many days we have, do i really want to spend them all inside until i am "perfect"?
God made me! he don't make junk! now can i get more fit? yes! but thinking that i am unworthy of having fun until i am the "right size" is not being who God made me to be!
i may not be 47 pounds lighter by the end of August
, but i am gonna be more fit than i am now, and i bet i will be singing and dancing and having fun...
, definitely better than staying home and moping.
i re-read a blog i wrote, some time back, "follow up to worthless and wasting time", it hit me smack in the face (in a good way), geesh, i think i better read more of other blogs i wrote! (LOL)
well, time to enjoy this moment!