Okay, so I admit that I am somewhat of a perfectionist - a perfectionist, that is, with almost anything I do EXCEPT what I do for me. Sigh. What is up with this I wonder? I am not entirely happy with the current shape I am in, BUT on the other hand, I am in much better shape than I was in 5 years ago. Truth is, I am holding fairly steady according to the scale (up a few, down a few, up a few - you get the idea...). I have more energy. Although not quite the way I want to look, I look okay for a "grandmotherly type" person. But I really would like to look better and feel even better than I do.
I think my discontent with my current situation lies in the fact that I believe I can do better for myself if I just try a little harder. I know all the things I should be doing and I can do them all. I just don't seem to be able to manage to do them all at the same time. Maybe I am afraid that once I get to a better healthy place, I won't be able to stay there. This has happened MANY times before, over and over again. Sometimes I just get tired of working so hard at managing my eating and exercising all the time. Managing them requires thinking about them ALL the time. I simply get tired of that.
So let me examine where I am for the present time.
The scale seems pretty stuck between a few numbers; at least it isn't climbing.
For a number of days now, the treadmill has been helping me to manage my chronic pain, even though I am not achieving 10,000 steps a day every day. I am not totally pain free, but in general, I am experiencing a little less pain over the past couple weeks.
And I have managed to sleep up to 6 or 7 hours a couple nights recently - This IS a real blessing! So, I can see progress in some areas. This is encouraging.
Coach Nancy says, "We learn the most not by doing everything perfectly, but by making mistakes and figuring out what to do next." So I am not going to quit. I am going to keep on going. And I will figure out what will work out best for me as I go. In the meantime, I think I will have to learn to be patient with myself!