The BACK STORY:
A year ago I reached my goal weight and weighed in at my Weight Watcher meeting within the goal range (2 lbs) for 9 fabulous months in a row! woo woo. So proud of me. Still so proud of that.
Since Christmas, though, and TheHeartAttack, and the serious cold weather, and the Bad Employee I Had To Fire, and the death of a cousin, and the New Administration with its New Rules, and the rotator cuff injury - you know - since life tossed me a basket full of lemons - I've struggled with the weight thing for 5 months now. Yes - I touched the magic goal weight a time or two, but I have not been able to stay there. Sometimes I've felt like a failure. Sometimes I've felt like a fraud.
The FRONT STORY:
Most of my time here on Spark People is spent reading Your Blogs, because you guys are the most amazing, inspiring, friendly, encouraging people I know. You have insights that blow me away. You discover ways of coping, ways of winning, and ways of triumphing that I can copy. You give me perspective and a new way of looking at my own situation that can turn my feelings of failure into sources of great pride and I want to thank you, one and all, for that.
Take my friend Steph-knee, who's lost ooodles of pounds and then found herself making friends with some old, bad habits and putting on weight again. "The biggest problem is that, what worked before (simply making a decision to get back on track and DOING IT) isn't working anymore. I need more, I need something bigger." she says in her blog post TIME FOR A REALITY CHECK:
And if you follow along with her next few posts - you'll see she's found something bigger. But first she had to take the pressure off herself by shifting her focus to actually MAINTAINING her plateau instead of trying to shed lbs. I mean - who EVER read a weight loss article about MAINTAINING PLATEAUS??? And yet - isn't that exactly what you need to do when the world starts crashing in on you?
There is MOBYCARP who was kiboshed by an injury (ask me about trying to press two measly 5 pound weights with my barely healed rotator cuff - - yeah - not happening this week). He has THIS to say:
"Maintenance is not steady state. It requires adjustments from time to time. And once in a while, when Life Happens, the adjustments are more severe and more sudden than they have been in a while. Well, that's life. I need to deal with it, make what adjustments I know I need, and monitor the results to see if I need to make further adjustments. "
in his blog post MAINTENANCE ADJUSTMENTS:
he explores the choices he has had to make now that he can't work out like he wants to.
No doubt about it - these are words I needed to read. I have loved being able to eat more, have a glass of wine today as well as yesterday, and just pound it off at the gym but it's not happening these days. I can still burn calories, but my upper body muscle tone is not what it was. I can only lift so much and I really need to be doing the PT exercises more regularly. I know this. I also know my schedule was totally whip-lashed by changes OTHER people made in my world - changes I have to find a way to live with. But till I find it - I need to make calorie adjustments.
Do I like this?
Can I do it?
But then there are those feelings of failure - the sensation that I am a fraud because I'm NOT at my goal weight. I'm not even 2 pounds over my goal weight - and have been as much as 6 lbs over my goal weight and if you remember, in elementary school math we learned to average up once we got to 5!! Scary. But reading TINAJANE76 this morning made me realize that I am neither a failure nor a fraud. I am a success story. In her blog ADAPTING TO CHANGES
She says "I've spent more time above my goal weight this past year than I'm comfortable with, but in the grand scheme of things, I've achieved even greater success than some magical number on the scale. I didn't let life's lemons get the better of me--and the resulting lemonade is pretty sweet. "
I still fit into the clothes I bought last summer. I even got 3 compliments on how I looked this week. Sweet. As sweet as Tinajane's lemonade, in fact. In the big picture of life - with the rotten stuff that's landed on my plate - to be only a few pounds higher than my goal weight is a pretty good thing. And knowing that everyone is fighting this fight - not just the weight and fitness fight, but the fear of failure one - fills me with confidence - confidence that we will all win so long as we don't quit.
That is why I read your blog. There isn't a THANK YOU icon big enough to express my gratitude. I don't know what I'd do without you.