If you have ever met me you will instantly learn a few things.
I am far from being shy, will be honest with you, and I truly like (love) most anyone I come across.
Here is some stuff you don't know. I'm am very introverted, always hurting from something, and will binge binge binge.
"What sent me into my introverted shell to binge this time" you ask? Well, I'll tell you.
First main thing is my son being over the top ADHD with spring fever for the last month. Right now he is on 3 different meds, school counsler 3x per week, doc once per month, therapy ever week, and two very patient parents. Lately I am just wore out from/of him.
Second topic is my wife just started shutting down. Literally quit doing stuff. Just didn't care- no dishes, no extra laundry, no side cleaning, not much with the kids at all. So her and I ended up visiting therapy. Oh Joy! I Get To Express My Feelings To Someone Else. This turned out much better than I thought.
Next was my daughter getting back to cutting herself and doing the whole suicide thoughts. Ended up taking her back into the clinic for another vacation.
Last in my job. With everything going on I ended up missing a couple non-mandatory, but highly encouraged events, 2 meetings on days off, and started showing a little mind slipping. Sometimes the corporate world loves to attack when your weak, but in a nice backhanded way.
Now to the title. WHOM I'M MENT TO BE.
I am not supposed to be the guy raising two kids for a life time of up/downs and troubles. So for now- I'm putting any work I can to get them through this phase and move into the productive or at least not negative part of life.
I am not going to get kicked around at work. So for now- I went knocking on doors to "Ask Advice" from certain people. A polite way of making them face me. This really works everyone.
My partner is not going to call it in. So for now- it's a reminder that we have 19 years together, our kids take leadership from us, and we are in charge of changing this household. I'm very active in the house, chores, bills, and children. Trying to cover any slack.
Whom am I right now.
Just trying to remember that none of this stuff is actually me. I am part of all of it, but it is life and not my core person. Most of it is just some diverted energy which will eventually come back, and then watch what I can do. So, if I disappear, I'm just having my energy diverted. I will always come back.
Thank you for listening everyone. Sorry to dump, sometimes I need to read my own thoughts for them to sink in.