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    ALICEART2010   42,994
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Name Change?


Saturday, May 17, 2014

My fiance is upset because I told him I didn't want to change my name to his name when we get married. I should have brought this discussion up sooner to him than the day before the wedding but I was afraid to, I suppose.

I don't really want to go through the hassle of changing my name AGAIN with the SS office, DL office, school, bank, passport office ($200) etc. etc. etc. He's never had to change his name so he does not understand.

How do you feel about this?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ALICEART2010 8/28/2014 10:14PM

    I am taking his name.

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CHAPELSMACK 6/20/2014 2:40PM

    Congratulations on your wedding last month!

I hope you do/did whatever feels right to you and talk it through with your husband. I debated changing my name last year, too, when I got married. I ended up going for the change, because I felt that the change marked the transition in a chapter of my life. Our life. I also liked the idea of sharing a common name and becoming our own family. But I know everyone feels differently. Names are an extremely personal thing. So, I completely understand your hesitation.

Comment edited on: 6/20/2014 2:40:57 PM

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ZELLAZM 5/17/2014 3:34PM

    I think if it were just the hassle of changing it that concerned me, I would get over it and do it. It's obviously important to your fiancÚ. On the other hand, if you have some other convictions, it's a different story, but something you'll need to talk over with him.

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JAROL7 5/17/2014 2:58PM

    YEP .... bringing up all of the expectations BEFORE the wedding is crucial. Find someone who uses the DARE discussion materials before you get married. It tests you to see if you agree with each other in 179 areas and then you discuss the ones you disagree on and learn a system for handling future disagreements. The author can help you find someone in your area. I love the process: http://www.daretobedifferent.com/ .

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