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I've Held These "Truths" to Be Self-Evident.

Friday, May 16, 2014

I got a birthday card last year. This blog has been sitting in my drafts box for a looooong time--at least five months. Anyway, my friend who sent me the birthday card isn't just anyone--she's a very good friend who lived with us for a year and a half, so she knows a lot about me and my lifestyle. In the card, she wished me a day full of my favorite things: puppies, massages, mac and cheese, salt and vinegar chips, and Judge Judy.

This got me thinking. Is this what people associate with me? Mac and cheese? Chips? And why do they do that, beyond the obvious, that my friend lived with me. Is this how I associate myself, too?

I've been thinking a lot about my "personal brand," as well, ever since my evaluation, wherein one of these women called me "folksy" and "down home." I found that insulting because of the context, but do I just take for granted that I fancy that I charm people with my "y'all"s and my hospitable ways?

And if that's the case, what other things do I fancy about myself? I started trying to think of things I say about myself in small talk-y conversations. You know the ones, "Oh, I get those headaches, too! You're allergic to strawberries? I'm allergic to peanuts. I only wear heels. I like pepperoni more than sausage. I didn't sleep that well last night, either. You know those dreams you have when..." that kind of thing, you know? I went through my day, but I didn't, because it didn't take long. "I always use the snooze button."

"I can't get up that early, even to exercise."

"I don't cook."

"If I have to go to bed early, I don't want to go to the gym. I need a certain amount of time from the time I get home."

"I hate running."

I could go on.

I am going to question my assumptions about myself. Maybe not the running--I've tried running. I truly don't like it. But I am going to stop using the snooze button, and maybe not say I don't like to cook, even if I don't do it often.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PCOH051610
    When I joined Spark there was this challenge (within another challenge) that had us put a sticky note on our bathroom mirror that read "I am worth it and we had to repeat it each time we went to the washroom"

    I found it incredibly silly but I did it (often making a funny face after I finished saying it out loud) but overtime it seemed to work.

    YOU and only YOU control what you believe about yourself. emoticon

    1393 days ago
    I think as far as the card goes... Birthdays are a day for self indulgence, and your friend knew those are some of your most indulgent pleasures in life (I'm with you on the Mac and cheese).

    As far as your personal brand, well, I think that's a pretty good idea. Act as the person you want to be and eventually, at least some things, will become habit.

    1402 days ago
    I agree with Seaglass. Self-talk is a powerful tool for yourself. Or weapon against yourself. (I'm reminded of a poem by Robert Frost in which he is walking across his front lawn that needs to be mowed. He steps on a rake in the grass, which pivots up and smacks him in his face. Ow! But it did give him the lovely rhyme: "the first tool that you step on fast becomes a weapon")

    Good job making your self talk into a tool for yourself! It will take your best care and persistence to keep the tool from twisting back into a weapon, but you can do it! emoticon
    1402 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/17/2014 9:14:36 AM
  • SEAGLASS1215
    Great blog! I've heard that what we tell ourselves about ourselves can either lift us up or tear us other words, if I say I can't cook, it will be true but if I say I am learning to be a great chef, then I will bring that about instead. The power of positive thinking connects to positive self talk...and the words we use can certainly make a difference: stubborn sounds negative, persistent sounds positive. "I hate running" may be true, but try saying "I love walking (or dancing, whatever)" instead to focus on the positive (what you love rather than what you hate). I've been working on this for awhile and it's helping to build my self confidence and my 'brand' - especially at work (detail oriented versus nit-picker, dedicated versus workaholic, etc).
    1402 days ago
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