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Letting go: recognizing signals that we need to act

Friday, May 16, 2014

We would be happier if we could practice the habit of letting go of our ideals of perfection when they are causing us harm. We all want the world we live in to be more perfect since then we would have fewer problems. But there are times when we must act to let go of our ideal of how our world should be. The 1st step of letting go is noticing stress signals that we need to let go one of our ideals of how our world should be. The 2nd step of letting go is seeing the ideal that is in conflict with our reality and causing our stress. The 3rd step of letting go is seeing the harm that our holding on to our ideal is causing to others and/or ourselves, the 4th step is letting go with love and compassion, the fifth and final step of letting go is accepting a new ideal of reality. See Leo Babouta of Zen Habits and his free e-book on letting go "The one Skill" zenhabits.net/lg/

Some common signals that we should be compassionate and let go (at least for the time being) are: Anger, Irritation, Frustration, Stress/anxiety, Depression, Jealousy, Feeling hurt, Feeling inferior, Wanting to be right, Lashing out at someone, Procrastination, Wishing things were different or easier, Feeling insulted, Wanting to get justice, Wanting to harm someone and thousands of others.

While these feelings cause us stress and suffering; we canít stop feeling them, and not wanting to feel them actually makes the suffering worse. So the first thing to know is that itís OK to feel these things, and that we should just feel them, accept them. But we need to pause and reflect on what is going on before lashing out or taking action that we might regret. Otherwise we could magnify the problem. Instead we can begin the process of letting go so that we don't prolong our suffering.

How do we practice this first step, of noticing the signals? Itís a learning process, but first just make a commitment to trying to notice when these things come up. It might surprise you, if you watch yourself, how often you feel a little bit of irritation or frustration or anger, especially if youíre around other people. You don't need to immediately need to make changes, just start noticing your feelings and the conditions under which these feelings arise. Then after a few days of reflection, you can move towards the further steps of letting go.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BE_HAPPYPOTAMUS 5/19/2014 1:51PM

    Wonderful advice. Wish I could add a "Link to Genius Button" on my page that would bring people RIGHT here! You're amazing.

Be happy! emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/19/2014 1:52:05 PM

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PRKDAKFOGGY 5/18/2014 1:00PM

    Great blog oh wise one. emoticon Thanks for sharing.


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WINDY01 5/17/2014 12:49PM

    Thanks for the blog! I really need to do this, but more importantly, I wish I could encourage my husband to do this. A year ago, January, I was fired from a job based on a lie told by 2 people who didn't like me. So we had a 2 against one "she said, she said" situation. The job was a good paying job with good benefits, but some of the people I worked with were hard to deal with. It was also midnights, which was killing me. Now I work days with people that I like, and who also like me. I don't get paid as much, nor do I have many benefits, but the atmosphere of the work environment is so much better. I am ready to move on. Wish me luck in getting my husband to see it my way!

Comment edited on: 5/17/2014 12:50:57 PM

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MICKEYH 5/17/2014 7:12AM

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I really needed to hear this. emoticon

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WENDYJM4 5/16/2014 7:38PM

    emoticon emoticon

downloading it now

Comment edited on: 5/16/2014 7:39:49 PM

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SUNBUNNI 5/16/2014 11:10AM

    Thank you so much for this! I needed this so badly! My new motto for today: Be Afraid, Do It Anyway! Have a great day!

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JACKIE542 5/16/2014 9:39AM

    emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 5/16/2014 9:08AM

    AWESOME! Thank you so very much for sharing. REALLY need this! HUGS

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CHERYLHURT 5/16/2014 8:47AM

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