Wednesday, May 14, 2014
I find I reach points in my life where I catch myself being an observer rather and being a true participant. These times are usually infrequent and are generally characterized by a general level of subdued behavior, less inclination to laugh or make jokes, and a lack of clarity and sparkle in my eyes. I am not particularly fond of these periods of malaise, but I know that they do occur as part of life's cyclic nature.
I have found that, while these times are uncomfortable for me (and for those around me who care about my well-being), I DO benefit from the things I learn during these episodes. I do not begrudge them, but take the time to analyze them, picking them apart to see which morsel of discomfort has been planted for me to process so I may grow stronger.
This does not mean that I have to like what I learn. Nor does it mean that the lesson will never have to be repeated. It just means that it is a need in my life that I must meet and that, if I choose not to listen to its call to learn, I will get to repeat it sooner and with a touch more vehemence than the initial summons. Experience has taught me that it is far better for me to accept the initial call than to blow it off and await the next, more vociferous harangue.
Today I am relinquishing control so I can move forward and make myself a better human being.