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    SDLEE514   18,387
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Posing for pics (with pics!)

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

I'm in full beat myself up mode right now and I need to snap out of it. The wedding that I've been talking about was this past weekend, the one where the bride asked me to do a reading in the ceremony. I guess I did well, people I obviously didn't know (since I pretty much only knew the bride and groom and a couple of the wedding party) kept coming up to me after saying what a wonderful job I did. More importantly, the wedding was wonderful, the bride looked gorgeous, the weather held out, the speeches made everyone cry, and overall, it was the perfect day (or what looked like it) for her and I was so happy for her!!

I got to re-wear a dress that I wore for my cousin's wedding a few years ago. The dress has one strap so I wanted to do my hair sweeping on the opposite side, it came out like this:

I got several compliments on my dress and even the bride told me I looked gorgeous, and I'm like what are you saying, not as much as you!! I have a hard time with compliments. Pictures came out and all of it went right out the window. If you've followed me for some time, you know I am incredibly self-conscious of my arms, and here's why:

I have a hard time looking at this. I literally hate my arms. Even my dress that I got so many compliments on looks all weird and bunchy and I'm like what were people seeing? I pretty much just think I look awful. I am TRYING my hardest to blame my inability to pose properly for pictures and that I don't ACTUALLY look that big. Here's another pic of me at yet another wedding we went to recently:

I did the 'ole hand on my hip elbow sticking out bit that is most flattering on my arms, but it doesn't always look natural, so I opted not to do it in the one above. Obviously that was a big mistake. But it has me thinking, how in the world am I ever supposed to get a flattering picture that is not the contrived hand on hip pose? Literally, it makes me dread being in my friend's wedding party or heaven forbid it actually happens, my own wedding, where there will literally be hundreds of pictures taken of me. Any advice on posing for pics?

I gained 4 pounds over the weekend which I'm sure is mostly bloat (I rarely drink alcohol two nights in a row) and eating badly. On Saturday before the wedding we found this brunch place near our hotel that was amazing:

Yeah, that would be fluffy French toast with craisins and pecans and brown sugar sauce. To. die. for. and I ate almost ALL of it. The wedding then had a candy bar which I proceeded to finish my bag of on the flight home. Mother's day was good, I hadn't been able to make it home in a few years to see my mom but I did this year since the wedding was close, and she was very happy to have me and my sister home. We spent all day drinking tea and sitting out in the sun... emoticon it was just lovely. Then of course being wonderful mom she is, showers her love (love=food) on me and I was sent home with copious amounts of baked goods, cornbread, banana bread, and oatmeal raisin cookies. Talk about carb overload.

I keep thinking about how thick my arms look. I don't know what will help. While I am up a few pounds from where I've been and where I'd like to be, I don't think diet and exercise will help me. I don't know what to do. Right now my plan is to get strict with my calories and continue working out, and no alcohol until my birthday (june 3).

And here's a picture of my baby, I had my friend cat sit her when I was gone, pretty sure she fell in love with her. She tends to have that effect on people :)

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
STFRENCH 5/14/2014 9:47AM

    Loving your fur-baby emoticon emoticon

I think you look great in those pictures. Your hair and dress were lovely.
Think that a picture is just a still image that you can pour over and dissect, whereas people at the wedding will have seen you moving, smiling, in action... We often focus on the smallest detail about ourselves and blow it out of proportion, when people don't notice it at all.
This being said I can understand where you come from ; I hate having my photo taken as I am not photogenic. And I don't think I'll ever become photogenic, no matter my weight! emoticon


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BONOLICIOUS2 5/14/2014 8:17AM

    First of all - squishy kitty is so cute!!!!!

Second of all, I scrolled too far down before reading and saw your pic and my first thought was "omg, I wish I had a waist like that!" I just have this awful "Is she pregnant or just fat?" pudgy stomach. I caught myself jealousy bashing myself - sooooo what does that mean?

Probably that we're all a little too harsh on ourselves for our own good. I think that is also the case for you here! You are GORGEOUS and I wish I looked like you! And you are brave because I can't even bring myself to post the pictures from the wedding I was just in, I'm too embarrassed. And I honestly thought I saw MUSCLES in your arm, not fat. You're strong! At least that is what me as an outsider sees.

We all have a weird way of looking at ourselves. I think there are even full blown psych studies that prove we can't see ourselves accurately. Try to keep feeding yourself positive reinforcement - we're not all lying to you, you're really pretty and toned! We just gotta help you believe it yourself!

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CARADAWN 5/14/2014 8:07AM

    Stop beating yourself up - you look amazing in those photos! I know we are our own hardest critics but try to look at yourself, and your pictures, objectively. I imagine if you saw the pictures you posted on someone elses blog you would not have the same feelings / thoughts towards them. It's hard to realize that the way we see ourselves is not the way other people see us but if everyone is telling you that you look amazing it's because you did!

I hope you are able to see how beautiful you are emoticon

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LIFEASMRSA 5/13/2014 9:25PM

    You look great!!!

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SUE5007 5/13/2014 5:24PM

    Honestly the first thing I saw when I looked at your arm was that I could see muscle tone, especially in your shoulder. If I just stand there with straight arms then my arms will look my triceps are being smooshed outwards which makes me look wider. Try standing in front of the mirror and seeing what angles are the best for your arms. Try copying poses you see in other photos. Sometimes it's the angle we are facing, other times it's that our arms are being held tightly against our bodies.
And your dress...honey, that's all dress. Dresses are the worst for group shots like that. Especially satin. Unless you are standing perfectly straight and still it will have wrinkles in it. That color is great on you!

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CHODGES83 5/13/2014 2:55PM

    I think we're all too hard on ourselves. I see a beautiful woman who looks like she's having a great time. Love the hair, too! Glad that you got to see your mama!
Have a good week!

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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 5/13/2014 2:42PM

    I wish you could stop being so hard on yourself. Your hair looks beautiful and you look amazing in both dresses!

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EDDYMEESE 5/13/2014 1:48PM

    Aw, your kitty is darling...ragdoll?

The only problem with your arms is that you see them through lenses that nobody else is wearing. I have the same issue with my skin - I'm always getting compliments on what an amazing complexion I have and all I see is bumpy, red, dry skin. I literally do NOT see what other people are seeing. By the way, I abhor my arms, too. But I have really fat ones. Even at a low weight, my arms are fat, never toned. I know exactly how you feel! But yours really do look normal, lol!

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SCOTTYDOG76 5/13/2014 12:35PM

    I think this is the first time I've looked at one of your blogs, and let me say, personally I see "nothing wrong with the way you look right NOW!" Everyone's arms look a bit larger when they are by your side. It's the same way that if you cross your legs at the calf area it will make your calves look fuller than they really are. I use that gimmick a lot. My calves are not too bad, 13.5 inches, but I wish they were larger. I am a small-boned person, only 5'2, so don't try to compare my inches to yours.

One little hint is that if you stand up straight and throw your shoulders back slightly, and lower your chin just a bit it gives your torso and bustline the best image, and by lowering your chin just a tiny bit it gives the best look to your face. This was told to me by a professional photographer of women. Also, if you don't want your arm at your side, if it is an informal photo, try a slight wave, that brings your arm out from your body, and gets away from the look you hate.

Personally, I envy the way you look. You are truly a beautiful woman!

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NIMIRRA137 5/13/2014 12:28PM

    Your arms not big at all! I think you look great in both photos.

I understand what you mean about not wanting to always do the hand the hip contrived pose. I've had people point out that I "always" do that. It's the only way I know not to make them look huge.

I think one way to avoid the hand on the hip pose is to just not flatten your arm against your body but try to hold it out/away just a bit. That way it doesn't get the smooshed look.

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IRP1114 5/13/2014 12:23PM

    Missed reading your blogs. You look gorgeous chica! Love yourself emoticon
Glad you spent some time with your family. Nothing like it. Even if they make us eat more than we want lol. emoticon

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ARUNNINGKAT 5/13/2014 11:58AM

    I have the same frustration - I really don't like how my arms look! But that being said, I think you are being too hard on yourself! You really did look fabulous in that dress and I can see why you were getting compliments! emoticon

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KNEEMAKER 5/13/2014 11:36AM

  emoticon emoticon

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BRAINYBLONDE5 5/13/2014 11:16AM

    there is nothing wrong with your arms! learn to embrace and love them!!!! oh goodness that kitty is absolutely adorable!!! emoticon

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