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    WRITER_GURL81   10,884
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What is wrong with me?


Sunday, May 11, 2014

So, I did it. I've totally flaked on both of my teams - the beautiful Dazzling Diamonds of the BLC and the strong and courageous Maize Mountaineers of the BTS challenge. I've been in such a funk and haven't wanted to do anything. At all. Life is so very stressful right now and I don't know what to do. I know that this is a safe place to come and speak my mind and reach out, but I just don't do it. We've been saving so we would have a nice down payment for a house in Florida but we had to buy a new vehicle because my stupid minivan died - tranny and motor. So we're back at square one with saving and it's really discouraging. My FIL is a total jerk and thinks we need to explain our every movement to him. I don't know. Maybe I'm just making a big deal out of nothing and needlessly spazzing. There are a lot of other things going on that I really don't have the energy to get into at the moment. I haven't focused on my health in months - the last time i exercised was before I got the tattoo on my foot, i got that for my birthday in March.

I just want to say I am so sorry for letting down both of my teams. They are made up of truly wonderful people and I know they will succeed in everything they are trying to accomplish.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
VALYNN26 5/12/2014 1:12PM

    I so understand what you're talking about by letting your team down. I have been going through one thing after another since January! I have gained half of what I had lost, just due to stress & simply just not having the strength/energy to fight it. I am so ready to get back on track now, but still can not JUMP back in, so just focus on on day at a time & baby steps. Progress is progress no matter how small (ex: right now I am just making sure that I get 8 cups of water in a day & a min of 10 mins of activity). Hang in there. You can do this. We are DIAMONDS & we are strong! Keep shining!

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CHICAMIMI 5/12/2014 10:06AM

    Real life can be really hard at times and especially when we're feeling down, it can be hard to get on SparkPeople to talk about it or hold yourself accountable...but know that we're all rooting for you and everyone has been through similar moments in real life that get them down. I know you can do it! And you came and posted, so you want to do it!

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WATERDIAMONDS 5/12/2014 5:22AM

    Oh my dear friend, I'm sorry this is such a tough time for you. But, seeing all those flames on your Spark Page--what wonderful support you have from your teams!

Accept their help and encouragement. Start again. Start today. Start this minute.

You don't have to take giant steps. Just get up and walk around your couch. Just participate for 15 minutes on your team. Just put down your fork one bite sooner than you did yesterday.

Just take a deep breath and realize you CAN do this.

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MARYBETH4884 5/11/2014 3:29PM

    Real life does tend to get in the way sometimes. Just do what you can to benefit your journey. You might find exercise as a stress reliever. You and your DH will be in my prayers.

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MM11113 5/11/2014 3:07PM

    Hang in there. I was married once to a man who went to his Mom on everything. I understand the urge to Spazz out about in-laws.

But, you have to take care of you! De-stress with a walk.

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SASSYLJB 5/11/2014 2:43PM

    You are and always be a Diamond! You need to come back to the team and let us help you sort things out! That's what we are here for! You are an amazing and strong Diamond, We can with stand lots of pressure!
The Summer Challenge starts soon come back to the diamond mine an regroup and we will move forward and get you our of your FUNK! After all you do shine Bright!

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