Sunday, May 11, 2014
So, it is Mother's Day, sooooo?
I know this isnt going to be a popular blog, but, not everyone has a mother they can be close to. Not everyone has a mother who they can spend time with, without strife and conflict and feeling depressed later.
I wish my mother and I were closer. Yes, I called her, and yes I had planned to spend some time with her today, but my sister and I have an unspoken pact, that we each have to be there to act as a buffer or at least so each of us doesnt have to hear about how awful the other sister is.
So, I got to hear about all the aches and pains and my dad in the back ground with his comments and input. And I should do this and I should do that, and oh by the way, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, I learned that they were both well aware of that one.
How they found it out, hmmm, who knows.
Doctors are a big thing in their lives and they apparently want to keep track of everyone elses appointments as well.
There is nothing I can say except, it is what it is.
There have been horrible feuds between myself and them at times, and between my sister and them as well. and my brother, well, you get the point.
They are aging and yes, they both have health issues, but I wonder sometimes how much of it is real and how much is improvised.
So anyway, no loving family dinners or going out to a nice restaurant for me today.
I have been doing laundry and cleaning up from last nights supper, I was just way too tired to do it last night.
Having run nonstop for 3 days and have to go again tomorrow, so now the laundry is finished and I am going to spend the rest of the day watching Netflix, lay in the tanning bed and treat myself to a nice mani/pedi, courtesy of myself.
Where is my son today you might ask, well, he works night shift and gets home at 7 am, so he messaged me on FB this morning when he got off work and told me HMD and he loved me and was going to bed.
I really am not that bothered by not doing up a big family gathering or cooking or going out.
I guess it should bother me, and people would say, spend time with your mother while you can, etc, but like I said, not all families have this tight knit loving bond.
Some are just lucky to tolerate each other and for me personally, maybe it is a personal issue, I am not a lovey dovey person who is given to nostalgia and moments of deepness.
In fact, maybe its a personal problem, but I dread these days, I dread birthdays and anniversaries and MD/FD, any time I am expected to call and give well wishes.
I just cant wait to get it over with.
Maybe I have some kind of anti-social personality or maybe I am just a loner.
Have been taking care of puppy, she is doing pretty good, so far, she wants to try to lick but I had to put the cone on her, it isnt 100 percent preventing her from licking and I am concerned shes going to start scratching at the stitches.
Well, I am tired from all the running, but I keep waking up super early, Sunday morning and I wake up at 7 am!!!
And right back out to the doctor tomorrow, I know my weight is up and I have got my hormone test results to discuss with her and get this appointment behind me, and then hopefully I can rest for a few days.