Sunday, May 11, 2014
So, it is Mother's Day, sooooo?
I know this isnt going to be a popular blog, but, not everyone has a mother they can be close to. Not everyone has a mother who they can spend time with, without strife and conflict and feeling depressed later.
I wish my mother and I were closer. Yes, I called her, and yes I had planned to spend some time with her today, but my sister and I have an unspoken pact, that we each have to be there to act as a buffer or at least so each of us doesnt have to hear about how awful the other sister is.
So, I got to hear about all the aches and pains and my dad in the back ground with his comments and input. And I should do this and I should do that, and oh by the way, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, I learned that they were both well aware of that one.
How they found it out, hmmm, who knows.
Doctors are a big thing in their lives and they apparently want to keep track of everyone elses appointments as well.
There is nothing I can say except, it is what it is.
There have been horrible feuds between myself and them at times, and between my sister and them as well. and my brother, well, you get the point.
They are aging and yes, they both have health issues, but I wonder sometimes how much of it is real and how much is improvised.
So anyway, no loving family dinners or going out to a nice restaurant for me today.
I have been doing laundry and cleaning up from last nights supper, I was just way too tired to do it last night.
Having run nonstop for 3 days and have to go again tomorrow, so now the laundry is finished and I am going to spend the rest of the day watching Netflix, lay in the tanning bed and treat myself to a nice mani/pedi, courtesy of myself.
Where is my son today you might ask, well, he works night shift and gets home at 7 am, so he messaged me on FB this morning when he got off work and told me HMD and he loved me and was going to bed.
I really am not that bothered by not doing up a big family gathering or cooking or going out.
I guess it should bother me, and people would say, spend time with your mother while you can, etc, but like I said, not all families have this tight knit loving bond.
Some are just lucky to tolerate each other and for me personally, maybe it is a personal issue, I am not a lovey dovey person who is given to nostalgia and moments of deepness.
In fact, maybe its a personal problem, but I dread these days, I dread birthdays and anniversaries and MD/FD, any time I am expected to call and give well wishes.
I just cant wait to get it over with.
Maybe I have some kind of anti-social personality or maybe I am just a loner.
Have been taking care of puppy, she is doing pretty good, so far, she wants to try to lick but I had to put the cone on her, it isnt 100 percent preventing her from licking and I am concerned shes going to start scratching at the stitches.
Well, I am tired from all the running, but I keep waking up super early, Sunday morning and I wake up at 7 am!!!
And right back out to the doctor tomorrow, I know my weight is up and I have got my hormone test results to discuss with her and get this appointment behind me, and then hopefully I can rest for a few days.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
I am sorry for all those who have lost their mom and I do wish so much to have the kind of relationship I once had with my mom, where we could discuss books, movies, tv shows, the news of the day, etc.
But she changed somewhere down the line and she lets my dad call the shots and most of the manipulation and angering words and devisive actions come from him thru her.
I cant explain how it feels to call her and 2 minutes into the conversation, it turns to how wicked and awful my sister in law is, how mean and hateful my sister is, how grumpy my brother is, etc and so on and I am sure they get to hear about what a terrible person I am.
Someone commented that we have to sometimes leave our family and friends behind in order to be healthy, well that is what I try to do.
Only speaking to them on special occasions, birthdays, not going around them often.
It is for my own sanity, and it is the only way I can have any kind of relationship with her.
This woman is a hypochondriac and she would be happy if every member of her family were dealing with some type of illness, (Munchhausen)??? My 9 year old nephew has learned the behavior, get attention by playing sick and has had to be picked up at school many times, his parents are now taking him to a stomach specialist, but the school and students all say he is just faking and forcing himself to throw up so he can go home early.
This is learned behavior and I want no part of this.
My mother would argue he is deathly ill and you cannot convince her otherwise.
I choose to stay around positive people and while I know I sometimes blog negatively, it is just to get it out and pour the words out of my body and not hold on to the sickness, so that I can try to be healthy.
If anyone on here blogged they were in an unhealthy relationship with someone who manipulates and belittles them, they would be encouraged to break that off, well, it is no different sometimes with family.
1167 days ago
At least you have a mother, and a chance to make things right.
1168 days ago
Honor thy mother is not the same for all of us. The converse is also true. Honor thy children.
For some, the damage has been done. Being healthy and whole means keeping myself separate from my mother.
1168 days ago
Honor thy mother, moms are not perfect & neither are her children. In a blink of an eye, without any warning she can be gone. I lost my.mom 5 years ago so unexpected, although we were like oil & vinegar when we were around each other I wish she was still here with now. I didn't get to tell her how awesome of a women, not just a mom ,she was and how much gratitude I have that she raised me to be a strong resourceful independent woman. I am grateful she raised me in the LORD. We will all be old what relationship do we want with our children. How do we want them to treat us? Forgive & cherish your mom's while you have her.
1169 days ago
Not everyone gets to grow up in a Beaver Cleaver household. I sure didn't. All you can do is persevere and take care of yourself.
1169 days ago
My therapist told me it's okay to not like our mothers even though we know deep down that we love them! I've learned to be "entertained" by my mother's comments and when it gets really tough I email my brother who lives in Australia!
1169 days ago
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