Saturday, May 10, 2014
I'm sorry I haven't managed to blog more, but things have been pretty busy around here lately, and my healthy habits have fallen on the wayside.
The contractors are finally getting the new windows in. It was quoted as a 2 day install, so of course.. it is not! They got all the windows in, but there was some problem with the stainer& the trim, so they have to come back another day to install the trim and make it all look nice and finished.
Unfortunately, it means that I still haven't had the chance to see what my new curtains look like. I thought about putting them up, but I don't have a trim date. It could be today. It could be next week! It is a mystery. It's such a pain to unhook/rehook the 55+ hooks on that thing. I don't want to have to do it multiple times. :/
So, that was some busy time right there. Also, I had an appointment with the surgeon to discuss my lymph node.
What it comes down to is basically a quality of life issue. The surgeon said that it looks OK now, but that if I decided NOT to have the surgery, I'd have to come in every 6 months to ultrasound it and monitor it. She recommended removing it if it was causing pain more than once a year. And I'm like.. yup. Try every other month.
Of course, there are plenty of potential complications, and it all scares the crap out of me. I had to go to the hospital yesterday to pre-register for my surgery. I have to go under general anesthesia for this, too.
I'm starting to think it was all a bad idea. It's so much easier to make these decisions when there is an imminent threat to your health. When it's a "Hey, it hurts a lot, but it's not killing you... YET" kind of thing, there's that measure of uncertainty there. There's a good chance that it could just never be a bigger problem than the pain! The pain is certainly tolerable, but annoying. My parents said that if it's painful, just cut it out.
It's hard to explain, but it kind of feels like the wimpy way out.
And now that I'm going over paperwork, talking to the financers at the hospital and all that jazz, it just seems a gigantic pain in the ass. It seems like living with the pain might be less of a hassle, in a weird sort of way.
So there's that going on.
I'm slowly working on costumes in my free time, and not being very good with food/exercise at all. This is mostly because I've had soooo many appointments this past week, and they are all in the morning. I haven't had that.... motivation? To wake up extra extra early to work out before my appointments, and I've been running errands and meeting people well into the late afternoon, so I don't have time to do it when I come home. I suppose I could in the evening, but let's be honest here. I'm really lazy and I suck.
One of my most recent appointments was to get my hair done! I needed my color touched up, and I was getting a little tired of the angled bob. I've worn my hair like that for quite a few years now, so I felt like it was time to try something different.
....Now, I hate my hair.
It looks like some sort of page out of a fashion magazine, which I guess is good? But I can't restyle it properly, and it's wavering between Laura Bush and Justin Beiber/Miley Cyrus. I'm really upset about it. It's not me at all. I have 4 months to grow it out before the girls in CO get married.
anyway, you guys aren't getting pictures because I'm so upset about my inability to make this look cute at all. I will grow it out as much as I can before Sept, and then try to get a cut that I can live with. This style is like.. a comb over. There's so much hair on my forehead that it drives me nutter butters. I like it short in the back, but I'd rather have my angled cut and have it that short in the back. I don't know why Rico can't do both when Joe had done it in the past. So frustrated. I'm trying not to think about it too much because I don't want to be bitter towards Rico. It's not like he executed this haircut incorrectly. I told him I wanted to go shorter. I wanted something that would flatter my face shape, and I would let him do whatever he wanted.
Yeah, I hate it. I go between frustration and wanting to cry, and there's nothing to be done about it at all until it grows out. Oh well. I guess I can always wear wigs.
So I noticed that stress is really just making me want to eat all the damned time, and I'm not really fighting it that well. I would like to lose about 10lbs before the end of the year. It's totally do-able if I get back on track, but getting back on track is the tough part.
The doctor stuff and my haircut is making me lean towards being really... emo right now. -..-
My surgery is Weds morning. I should get to go home the same day provided nothing goes wrong with the anesthesia. I've never been under general before, so I don't know if I'm prone to having bad reactions. We'll see. I will try to give you guys an update on Weds if I'm not feeling too poo. Otherwise, you should hear from me sometime later in the week.
The sad thing is, I'm kind of hoping that I just feel nauseous and gross for a few days after the surgery just so I don't want to eat. Isn't that sad?