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Another Hill on the Rollercoaster

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

It's been eight and a half months since I last updated this blog. I need to be better at blogging here. It helps.

In the last eight months, things have not been great. I put on a little weight again. It hasn't been a lot, but I continue to just get heavier and be the heaviest I've ever been. I don't like it at all, but change has been hard, and motivation has been lacking. I also had a bit of a health scare a little over a week ago- and that worries me.

I've been trying to get better again, though. I'd gotten a friend to act as my accountability buddy last year, and it didn't work out. She'd agree that we could work out together, but she'd bail at the drop of a hat. And that wasn't good for me at all. It just led me to continue making poor choices. I thought it would be good that we had similar goals and similar body types, but it wasn't. It just let us feed each other's self-destructive behavior. So I've got a new accountability buddy, another friend whose body type is nothing like mine, and whose goals aren't the same (she's looking to build muscle rather than lose weight). And so far, it's actually kind of working out. We've gone to the gym together three times over the last three weeks, plus once without each other. And we're making plans to go more often. But that's already more times than I'd gone in more than two years.

I also got a Fitbit Flex a few months ago. I'm in the habit of wearing it pretty much every day, but I am not in the habit of taking advantage of the fact that it can help keep me motivated.

And my health scare really has been scary for me. I had an appointment a week and a half ago with a personal trainer at the gym, to see if it would be beneficial for me to work with one (beneficial, yes. Affordable, not so much). We spent most of my training session talking about my goals and my food hangups, and she showed me a few core exercises that would be a part of what I'd be doing if I work with her. It wasn't strenuous at all, aside from the bit of burn I could feel in my legs from the squats. However, when we sat down again to look at some additional tools they offer, I found myself getting really dizzy and being helped to the floor by strangers. I completely passed out as I was being helped to the floor. I'd never passed out prior to that. The paramedics were called, though I was only unconscious for about a second. Though I was able to avoid going to the hospital, I did go to my doctor last week. I'm still waiting on the results of some tests, but at least one preliminary diagnosis is high blood pressure. I am now being treated for that. But if you had told me ten years ago, with my perfect 120-over-80 blood pressure than in 2014 I'd be on blood pressure meds, I'd have probably given you some very strong side-eyeballs.

Who knows. Maybe if 19 year old me had known all this I'd have taken better care of myself and not gotten fat. But since this isn't the place for "maybe if I had(n't)" I won't dwell on it.

All I can do now is be the best I can be going forward. And that includes a renewed commitment to getting fit and healthy. And that renewed commitment involves setting some new goals.

1. Go to the gym at least three times a week.

2. Train for a 5K. There's an 80s themed run in my town in late September, and my goal is going to be to run the whole thing.

3. Drink more water. I'm already a pretty good water drinker, but I can always drink more.

4. Quit eating out. I eat out WAY too much- probably half (or more) of my meals are made by someone other than me, and they're almost never healthy options.

5. Eat fewer processed foods. When I am not eating out, I am eating something frozen. This probably explains A LOT about my blood pressure.

6. Create a Sunday cooking/food prep routine. Most of my crappy eating habits are because I have no food prepared for the week, and then when it comes time to eat during the week, I lack the motivation to cook. Having everything prepped and just needing to be cooked will probably do wonders for my eating habits.

7. Substitute one meal a day for a healthy smoothie. I mentioned before that I have food hangups. They mostly revolve around this: when I was younger, most of the vegetables given to me were from a can. And fresh fruit wasn't really around either, except for apples (which I love) and bananas (which I loathe). As a result, I developed a rather extraordinary gag reflex. I am now capable of eating almost no fruits and vegetables, because I take one look at them and start gagging. However, I do enjoy smoothies, and I made them a few times last summer (and barely noticed the spinach mixed in). I want to continue doing that this summer, with fresh fruits from the local farmer's market every weekend (we have a pretty big one a few blocks from my apartment).

8. Blog at least three times a week about what I'm doing, where I'm having trouble, and what kind of progress I am making.

-Current weight: 269
-Goal weight: 136
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    Your goals sound great! emoticon
    1382 days ago
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