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jokes and weekly blog

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

food: (Fuel) Eat frequently, eat clean, be accountable. Except for pop I been eating and drinking pretty clean
Water: Drink it often. – didn’t drink as much as water as I should

Exercise: Push yourself to do a little more. Amaze yourself with what you can do! Find _ I will finish up with something tonight maybe dancing not sure yet I did do a 20 min/walk indoor this morining

Things I did good
- ate two ealthy meal

things good about me
1 i am a good daughter
2 i am trying to use my dbt tools I learn in therephy
3 i like to help people
4 i know how to make people smile
5 i am a good persn

goal for last week
1 spend more time on spark did
2 exercise everyday at least did
3 drink more water did
4 spend time praying idd
I am grateful
For a great vacation last week
For going back to work
goal for this week
1 spend more time on spark
2 exercise everyday at least
3 drink more water
4 spend time praying
5 do some stretching
6 don't forget my threphy training
to recovery international online meeting
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lions mouth," the vet told him."How do I do that?" he asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "Im too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if Im going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. This tall, tanned and built guy with jet black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one move s. As this man approaches, the woman begins to get excited. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."

Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge: What were you doing? 1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond. Judge: And what were you doing? 2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too. "Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well? 3rd man: No, sir. I AM Peanuts
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