May sound like a cruel headline...but it is true, literally.
Before you read on...I will make this statement..no matter what you may think of what I had done here..let me say it in no uncertain terms, that I would do it all over the same way...IF it meant I was able to be home with my dog when it counted !!!!!!!
I have been sick a long time, I have mentioned about my legs off and on..but the Drs. didn't have an explanation at the time.
I was getting really sick, but told no one...WHY? because I didn't want to leave my dog (Brownie) who was 14 yrs old and on his death bed too. I had promised I wouldn't leave him..I needed to be there when he finally went.
Well, the beginning of March my symptoms began to show to my friends. I had been hiding the fact that my legs had open sores and were draining very badly.Do you know the feeling of water dripping down the back of your legs when you get out of the pool or shower and haven't quite dried off all the way. Well, that was how my legs were everyday. In fact I hadn't been able to lay down in bed for about 2 months, because my legs were that sensitive..so I sat on the edge of the bed and slept.
My friends started to notice that I was getting incoherent at times and I kept saying that I was sleeping a lot during the day ( which I never do).Well, after about 2 weeks of this they were getting scared. I kept putting them off, they wanted me to go to the hospital...but I couldn't and wouldn't leave Brownie.
When they heard I wasn't going on the computer anymore ( because I wasn't feeling well) they really got worried.
March 23 - I was talking to my adopted daughter and she said, either you let me call an ambulance now, or I'll call the cops and have them take you. I was to the point where I knew I had to go..because I couldn't walk or eat, or do anything then...so I reluctantly agreed.
I thought just go up, get looked at and come back home. Didn't work out that way.
I was in ICU for 4 days..in and out of consciousness not doing much of anything but laying there. ..being hooked up to bottle upon bottle of IV and antibiotics.
When I was able to understand them..the Drs. told me that if I had waited till the morning to come in... I would of been dead.
I was totally dehydrated, my kidney's had shut down and my blood went septic from the infection in my legs. They had to give me a Dialysis treatment to kick start the kidney's again.and clear my blood. Luckily it worked and there was no lasting damage.
I have what is called--- Lymphedema --- www.medicinenet.com/lymp
Septic - www.webmd.com/a-to-z-gui
My body temp dropped so low that they had me using a heating mechanism that blew in warm air to try and raise my temp....It took 2 days. My blood pressure severely dropped.. ( and I've always had really high BP)..they had to give me different BP meds to try and get it to raise up to near normal.
After all this time..they say it is normal now..but it is really low for me.
I was then transferred to a floor till April 1...when I was sent to a Skilled Nursing Unit till April 30. I've done therapy to start to walk again.(which is progressing very slowly) but I'm moving.
I had a Foley catheter in for several days..so now I have very little control of my bladder..and must use diapers and pull ups till I get control back.
What amazes me the most is that after being fed all that liquid to rehydrate me...I get to the care unit and their Dr. puts me on 80 mg of Lasix...which they later cut down to 60 mg.
I tried to argue them out of it..but to no avail. I will not be taking them at home.
I had Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy there..good thing I made some progress...cause I had to climb 17 steps to get back in the house..
I am trying to settle in again...but it is rough.Having lots of trouble getting around here...cooking is the real problem..am eating sandwiches for awhile.
Friends told me in the hospital that they would pack up whatever they were having for supper in Tupperware and send some up to me...not to worry about having to cook...well, I've been home since the 30th...and not one drop of "cooked" food has come this way..and I don't expect any !!!!!
Nurses have been out and therapist.. I told nurse that I am starting to feel like I did when I was dehydrated...due to all those Lasix...so we are keeping a watch on my BP and body temp, and heart beats. I am not urinating much at all...they say to keep drinking...but that cause the other problem of making it to the bathroom on time !!!!
As for my legs, the swelling is down, the wounds are healing up. My legs are wrapped from the top of the toes to my knees in bandages.
This is a permanent condition..I have been told..and will have to be watching for relapses from now on.
Between them wanting me to keep my feet up to reduce the swelling...they want me to move around as much as possible too. You figure that one out !
I don't know what else I should be telling you on here, that I'm forgetting?
Oh, YES...by the way --- what really has me so upset and angry..Is that Brownie had to be put to sleep while I was in the skilled care unit.April 8.
That was what I really dreaded and put my self in danger for...what I didn't want to happen..happened. I will never forgive myself for not being there for him and in his blind/deaf/ dying condition was left alone in the house for hours..till people came to put him out.
I know he was scared and wondered why I left him when he really needed me the most.
I will never forgive myself for leaving him and it will haunt me always.
If I had to do it over again..I would of put him down sooner (if I knew I would be hospitalized)or I would of just stayed home and gone with him...that wouldn't have bothered me.
I have lost all 3 babies now..so nothing is the same here.
I have been sitting for awhile now..so better go lay down now.
Thanks for reading this...I know I can be long- winded..that's why I don't Blog too often...not enough space to store it all here..