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STEPH-KNEE
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The 190's Are Like A Bad Boyfriend...

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Saturday, May 03, 2014



Picture it, southern California, July 23, 2013. A 27 year old girl gets on the scale to reveal the Onederful number 199.6! She was officially in Onederland for the first time in at least 9 years! It was a tremendous day, celebrations with Spark friends and an amazing sense of accomplishment. The 190's were a beautiful sight to see, and gave that girl so much happiness!

Fast forward to present day, May 3, 2014. The same girl, now 28 gets on the scale to reveal 192 pounds. The scale is almost laughing as she gets on it... it starts mocking her and telling her the tales of all the time she wasted... gaining and losing the same weight, going around in circles instead of moving forward! A number that used to make her feel warm and fuzzy now mocks her and makes her feel down. It is amazing how the very same thing can change based on perception.

The 190's are like a bad boyfriend that I keep going back to even though I know better! emoticon When I first met the 190's, it was amazing. We were so happy, and so in love. We couldn't get enough of each other, and each pound in the 190's was magical. I had no complaints, and the 190's made me feel like the happiest and luckiest girl in the world! But things went south. You see, the 190's and I wanted very different things. I wanted to continue to grow and mature as a person, and that meant moving forward towards my goals...and the 190's wanted us to live there FOREVER. I told the 190's I just couldn't live there anymore, but he refused to listen. I got away from him and well into the 180's 2 or 3 times now... and each time I promised myself, and him, that I would NEVER EVER see him again. It could never work out, and we just had to accept it and move on with our lives. But you know how it goes, he starts texting you, telling you he misses you, and eventually wares you down until you come back. I have gone back to the 190's for the 3rd time, and I promised myself I would never let this happen again. The 190's is such a smooth talker, and knows how to get under my skin. I can maintain the 190's like a champ, even with bad eating days. It is really a shame that the 190's isn't my ultimate goal, because it seems that he really does love me... but we just want different things and I have to let him go for good.

So all silliness aside, I am downright sick of the 190's! I keep doing this to myself, I get into the 180's, all the way down to 185, I freak myself out, self sabotage and start back peddling. Hitting the 190's last year was a blessing, but I don't not want July to roll around and still be in the same spot. I have done a good job of looking at the big picture, and being proud of what I have accomplished and being proud of the fact I have not gained all my weight back. But with that said, I don't want this sense of accomplishment to allow me to be complacent. I have days where I am pretty comfortable at this weight... because it is a heck of a lot better than the 270's. But at the same time I have days where I am so uncomfortable and wish I was at my goal already. Wishing doesn't burn calories, I can either do the work, or get lazy. I can allow myself to become complacent, tell myself that I'm not meant to reach my goals, and just settle for the 190's... Or I can realize I deserve better! A place in the 160's or maybe even 150's if I so choose, and I will not let the smooth talking 190's convince me I don't deserve what I want! So I am done talking the talk, and I'm ready to start walking the walk. I am going to make a clean, fast break from the 190's, and I need to move so far away from him, that even a week off track won't send me running back into his arms. Enough is enough. emoticon




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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v PRETTYPITHY
    emoticon Just seeing this. As a reluctant returnee to the 190's, this blog is right on time.
    736 days ago
  • v MOMTO6CUTIES
    Those dog gone 190s I was in the 190s for about 4 months. Now I'm back on track and have dropped into the 180s. Good bye 190s your not coming back.

    Great post!
    742 days ago
  • v SUNNYBEACHGIRL
    Anyone of us could take your blog and put in our own numbers but the sentiment would be the same. Great blog
    745 days ago
  • v SLLYONS51
    I get into weight loss mode at about 188. Get in self sabotage mode about 159 and still don't understand why.
    745 days ago
  • v KELLEYAIMSHIGH
    I remember 199.6. I met him under different circumstances, though. That was my "Oh my GOD!" weight. I told myself that I didn't care, but I did. Way too much. 199.6 was cruel and judgemental. Then I Iost 30 lbs. I met the 160s for the first time in 10 years. It was wonderful! A lovely romance with feeling slightly more attractive and slightly less invisible. But now I'm back. In the 190s again. 192, then 191 now 190 as of yesterday. Invisible, bigger around the waist than before (how is that even possible?)

    I can't stay here either. He's like a bad penny - just keeps turning up in my life. Well, I'm dumping him (again). Let's spread the word that he's not worth it, but we are.
    746 days ago
  • v SOLE80
    You may want to try this: Ignore him. You know he wants to stick around, but you know you're better off without him. IF, at the end of the day, you can say you put in your hard work, solidly took care of your health by making good choices, then you don't have to think about that number. I was a flucuating 190s boyfriend hater/lover for years and have been different sizes at the same weight! Sometimes it's not about the scale. Sometimes it's knowing you're taking care of yourself. I found this out the long hard way. I was once a size 26, and now an 8/10. I do NOT go by the number on the scale anymore. BMI says I should be disappointed, but I'm ignoring that ex-boyfriend too. You can do this!
    747 days ago
  • v MSROZZIE
    Clever blog, thanks for sharing! Keep the Faith! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    748 days ago
  • v GARDENQE2
    emoticon emoticon
    748 days ago
  • v PURPLEPEONY
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    748 days ago
  • v GRANDMABEAST63
    Hey you, I know the feeling well. So it's time to flush him down good *lol* I have done the same went back-up to the 200s, saying to myself it's muscles...nope going back down slowly but surely and I have friends like you for support emoticon emoticon
    748 days ago
  • v EWOKKIE
    Even if you go over and over in circles thru the same process, there's always something to learn about it. Spend some time to figure out why and how you are sabotaging yourself.

    Accept that there are plateaus and obstacles in the middle, you just need to find out what works. If you haven't discovered it yet, hang in there.. it WILL come. There are tons of tools in this website and online that can help you find ways to get thru it.

    But the most important part: don't give up. Persistence over adversity is the key. Learn what you have to learn and be realistic. Each of us is different, eventually you will get lower and lower!

    emoticon
    749 days ago
  • v SANDRA_E
    You can do it! We all hit plateaus. You just have to break through this 185 block and bust out of the 190s for good!
    749 days ago
  • v SHARSUE
    We all have a "bad boyfriend" that we need to walk away from! I just love how you pput things in perspective, and I admire your dedication to becoming the person you want to be. Keep up the good work!
    emoticon emoticon
    749 days ago
  • v CERTHIA
    I have the same deal with the 70s (kilos that is, and btw I am really short). Ugh, I had no intention to get back there, but suddenly there I was (again) .. Oh well, I cant wait to get back into the 60s again, and hopefully one day even my goal weight in the high 50s.

    We can do this!
    emoticon
    749 days ago
  • v KIM22211
    I have to get to the one 30's!! try that one on! But you know what? If we werent being aware of where we are now, then I am certain we would be much much higher. So even though we are not where we want to be, at least we are not where we could be or used to be!
    750 days ago
  • v JUNIORSSISTER
    Your words are shared by many, as I'm sure you see by all posts. Great job, at expressing the those thoughts. emoticon

    Actually you've done a great job maintaining, you didn't tip your toe back to 200's. That takes restraint. So reward yourself for that. Look forward to the new, it can be scary when courting some one (180's here you come), don't be afraid, track, blog, reach out for support.

    You can do this. emoticon emoticon .


    750 days ago
  • v COOP9002
    Hope you're leaving them behind very soon.
    750 days ago
  • v SIMONEKP
    words of perfection, applies to the 200's for me.
    751 days ago
  • v GRLTAZ
    emoticon
    751 days ago
  • v BEANIES_MOM
    We must both be gluttons for punishment LOL! You know I keep running back to the 190's too. I am here to tell you though May is our month. We will get the heck away from them and stay away. I don't know why, but I just feel like it will happen. We can happily skip into the 180's together emoticon
    751 days ago
  • v MRSRIGS1
    I feel your pain! Aarrrrgggh...... emoticon
    751 days ago
  • v ROXYCARIN
    emoticon
    751 days ago
  • v EVRLNGFOO
    awesome blog! i love the metaphor! i laughed, i cried (not really, my office has windows) and i felt so motivated! i have the same relationship with the 240s. i finally broke up for good in march and said i'd never go back. so far so good!
    you can do this! there is a better guy waiting for you down the road. a true, honest guy who only wants the best for you.

    good luck!
    751 days ago
  • v VERSESTHATHURT
    That's pretty much how I feel about the 290s! Uhg!
    751 days ago
  • v RUBYSNANA
    This is such a emoticon blog. The analogy is perfect and certainly one we can all relate to on some level. You are an inspiration to us all. emoticon
    751 days ago
  • v JEB03253
    emoticon
    751 days ago
  • v COASTAL6
    I believe you can do this!
    We have all been there!
    emoticon
    emoticon
    751 days ago
  • v ADVENTURESEEKER
    I would like to offer 2 decades up on the chopping block- the 180's (how many times does it suck me back in?!) and the 170's (although I seem to sail through this one swiftly, it just won't.let.go.for.good. Leave me alone already!

    I feel your pain.

    752 days ago
  • v HOPEFULHIPPO
    This is EXACTLY how I feel about the 170s...EXACTLY...to the teeeeeeeeeee.

    emoticon
    752 days ago
  • v SLIMMINGSHAY
    Totally love the comical approach! Well written again and very true, not just for you.

    We all need to push harder if we want to see the results we so desire. It's not supposed to be easy, but we can't give up either.

    Way to be awesome!
    752 days ago
  • v BARBARAJ73
    emoticon
    752 days ago
  • v MELODYTARYN
    Awesome blog.
    752 days ago
  • v YHINESS
    I'm totally identifying with you! I've been stuck with my 180's. I got down to 179 and bam I jumped back up and blew my great habits. I'm starting to rebuild but I have a real bitterness at the 180s. emoticon
    752 days ago
  • v LILIVW
    Fantastic blog!
    752 days ago
  • v JAMER123
    Keep on truckin'!! You will get there and find the results you are looking for. It might take a little looking than you would like but it will be there!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I have confidence in you!!
    753 days ago
  • v RUDITUDI2000
    Dang the 190 boyfriend!! Run away!! emoticon
    753 days ago
  • v KOHINOOR2
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    753 days ago
  • v 1CRAZYDOG
    Steph, hang in there. You can DO this. You ARE doing it.

    HUGS
    753 days ago
  • v MALAMI518
    I'm not trying to give you any excuses, but sometimes I think our bodies need time to be convinced that they should release that excess weight for good. I believe in you and know that you will get it off! It's hard to keep working, and it gets exhausting at times, but you have it in you to stick with it over the long run.
    753 days ago
  • v LADY_MARIANA
    Great blog! I have had a case of the 190's for 15 months already... emoticon

    Let's chat when we have a case of the 180's.

    753 days ago
  • v DMS1946
    I laughed when I read your blog as I can so relate. My number has ranged between 200 and 2004 the last 8 months.
    753 days ago
  • v AMARILYNH
    Another great blog! You can do it - you have the tools, you have the knowledge, you have the power - you just have to determine that this is more important than any quick fix!! All your loyal supporters are cheering for you!! emoticon emoticon
    753 days ago
  • v PIGGYWAY
    emoticon emoticon
    753 days ago
  • v PURPOSEPOWER95
    I hear you...for emotional eating and mindless eating are hard to over come. But I am determined. I am tired of dancing around 171-175. time to go forward . thanks for your support on my goals.
    753 days ago
  • v RAPUNZEL910
    Hysterical post!!! Love it!!

    You can do it....I want to get in and out of the 190s as fast as possible!!!!

    Good luck!
    753 days ago
  • v SUSANELAINE1956
    What a fun blog. Your analogy had me smiling and nodding my head. Hope you break up for good this time.
    753 days ago
  • v EILEEN828
    This is a great analogy and it's also my number one reason for the infamous plateau. Getting stuck and any weigh tloss is snatched back and jealously guarded. I don't know what it is either, that makes your body do this, and allows your mind to lose it's momentum. Maybe we should think of it as a plateau, a long, long plateau that you had to cross. You came to the end and now it's time to climb down. But it still looks scary and you feel you haven't really found the right spot. Just keep looking and reevaluating whether or not that spot is really as bad as it looks and go ahead and take that little leap of faith. Your blog was inspirational for me today, so thank you very much!
    753 days ago
  • v SNOWYOGA
    emoticon
    753 days ago
  • v LINDAK25
    I've been wearing the 190's for a year and a half, too. Time to change that up!
    emoticon
    753 days ago
  • v POSITIVEHOPE
    Excuse the dust but this is a 30year old memory. A young woman a WW was having trouble losing that last few pounds to reach her goal. She would weigh in with her back to the scale each week so she couldn't see the weight. Every week the person behind the scale would tell her that she had a good week or a fantastic week or that she worked really hard this week but no number. I remember clearly the surprised look on her face when she reached her goal.
    There is always one little part of us that objects to the changes we are making. Sometimes you have to out wit it. You've been 185 several times and nothing really bad happened. Tell yourself that every day. Promise you'll stop at 179 if you need, too.
    753 days ago
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