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You think English is easy? Consider this!

Friday, May 02, 2014

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You think English is easy?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

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Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

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emoticon for taking the time to read this blog --- created from an e-mail sent to me this very day. I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed it as much as I have.

God bless us all with His wisdom in all matters & with success in all areas!


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CHERYLE51 5/10/2014 1:34AM

    I have two children adopted from Ugkraine and I can truly appreciate this.

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MERRYMARY42 5/6/2014 8:12PM

    I know, such fun, born and raised speaking only English, I understand how difficult it would be to learn,

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DJ4HEALTH 5/5/2014 9:06PM

    Yes our language can be very confusing to others that come here and try to learn it but then again it can be confusing to us too. Like Weather and whether and so forth.

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LOSINGLINNDY 5/4/2014 6:19PM

    Loved your blog. emoticon

Hugs, Gaylinn

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GRAMMYEAC 5/4/2014 7:17AM


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WHYTEBROWN 5/3/2014 10:47PM


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ALEXSGIRL1 5/3/2014 1:45PM


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PATTYKLAVER 5/3/2014 9:00AM

    Definitely had me tongue tied!

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CAKAROO 5/3/2014 8:44AM


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JANET552 5/3/2014 7:54AM


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KELLIEBEAN 5/3/2014 6:23AM

    Great read!

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THERESE2015 5/3/2014 4:56AM

  Love it! emoticon

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SASSY220888 5/2/2014 10:08PM

    It is so amazing how English is so complicated. Thanks for the information and sharing

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NANCYPAT1 5/2/2014 9:18PM

    I have seen something like this before and I always love to get it. Laughed out loud.

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PETALIA 5/2/2014 7:19PM

    What an extraordinary, slippery, and punishing mess English is! Thank you so much for posting this funny-ha ha and funny-strange view at my own, and mostly unexamined by me, language.

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LJCANNON 5/2/2014 7:10PM

    emoticon How sad is it that I had to read #14 three times before I saw the problem? !

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POSITIVEHOPE 5/2/2014 6:37PM

    I teach ESL and will happily share this with my class. It helps them to know that it really is difficult.

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MILPAM3 5/2/2014 6:36PM

    Having been an English (and a German) teacher, I enjoyed this.
I'm still in "correction" mode, but I do get a grin when people use misplaced modifiers.

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LINOVER 5/2/2014 5:58PM

    Interesting! English is an unusual language! emoticon

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IGNITEME101 5/2/2014 3:32PM

    kewl! I love our English language, ever changing,.....even with it's oddities~

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THINAGIN2 5/2/2014 3:28PM

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts about our English! Pretty interesting!

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    not only do we have the pronounciation issues of words that sound the same and things like that but we also have more letters in our common alphabet than other the hawaiian alphabet...13 compared to our 26, or greek has 24 letters. AND then there is the chinese alphabet! No letters as we know them, just 37 characters, more like symbols and have 4 different sounds that depends on the thickness of certain lines within the character! Then we have the African alphabet...I have been told they have 60! yes 60 letters in their alphabet.

So I think it makes sense that people have trouble learning english, especially if they are from another culture that has more or less letters in the alphabet than their own. The complexities of our spellings that make words sound different is, in many cases not obvious to even those of us that grew up with the language, never mind coming from another culture! emoticon

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    Languages are interesting. Sometimes looking at where words and phrases originate can be fun.

Thanks for posting this.

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  Wow, that is certainly an eye opener! I read almost all of this without messing up, except I floundered at the sewer and the seamstress in the sewer....I had to re think that one! Fun post. Thanks for sharing it. emoticon

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EVIE4NOW 5/2/2014 1:06PM

  I have always been told that English is the hardest language to learn, yet I read that whole blog without blinking an eye and knew exactly what was being said. I guess I take it all for granted. Thanks for sharing.

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