Saturday, April 26, 2014
My back is shot.
It's been extremely painful all day. So much so that it made me very grumpy. My dad was at a nearby college for a conference, and this afternoon we were getting our shoes on to head out the door to go meet him. Suddenly I see a man's head in the window of our front door. It was my dad! He came on over to spend the night with us instead of at the guest house provided by the conference. We were going to go out to dinner but decided to just buy some steaks and sides and eat at home. First we went to see this incredible timberframe pavilion Husband just finished building. It just astounds me, how smart he is, how much craftsmanship he can put into something...he really is an expert. I always see this other side of him, and sometimes I forget that he is an actual EXPERT at what he does. It's pretty cool.
So we all rode around in my dad's convertible. The top was down and the weather was gorgeous. I tried my best to enjoy myself but my back was so uncomfortable that I couldn't really think about much else. Then we went to the store and bought stuff for dinner. When we got back to my house, I changed into a tee shirt and sweatpants and got on the couch with my heating pad. We watched a little TV, just visited, and Husband made steaks. (He makes the BEST steaks...much better than anything you could get at a restaurant). While we were at the store, we got potato salad and cole slaw from the deli, and also got some pickles. I was really glad dinner was essentially effortless for me. I made a simple salad, opened a few containers, and heated up some rolls and tater tots in the oven. Easy peasy. We had strawberries and whipped cream for dessert. Husband did a slide show on the TV of his recent projects for Dad to see, and that was really nice. I'm glad my dad and my husband like each other so much. They are my two favorite guys in the whole world.
I'm so pissed off about my back. Husband said to me tonight, as he was rubbing Muscle Rub onto my back, "You could wake up tomorrow and everything could feel completely fine." I sure hope he's right...but realistically, I just don't know. I have very specific goals I want to meet by the end of the month and now I'm really having strong doubts that I will be able to achieve them. I am trying my hardest to stay positive...but seeing as how it's the end of April 26, and that I highly doubt I'll be able to do anything tomorrow...I just don't see how this is possible. Ok. Before I get all depressed about this, I'm going to give myself a reality check. I know I'm doing the best I can. I know sometimes, sh!t happens. This wasn't my fault. My back has been iffy lately anyway, and maybe it just wasn't fully healed yet. Maybe this is an entirely new issue. All I know, is that I'm doing the very best I can, and that this injury was in no way my fault. What CAN I do? I can eat healthy foods in proper portions. I can continue to watch my carbs and my sugars. I can, at the very least, maybe do some light stretches. I can continue to educate myself and research information about food and exercise and weight loss. I can focus on the goal...focus on the goal...focus on the goal. I can choose to not let this TEMPORARY setback become a PERMANENT deterrent. If I don't feel better by tomorrow, I will call my chiropractor first thing on Monday and make an appointment. If I don't make my goals by the end of April, then that's ok. I can make them in May. The point is, is that I will make them soon, one way or another. One other thing I know I CAN do...is I CAN DO THIS.
Here's today's run-down:
SBD -- Phase 1.5, Day 33
Breakfast: coffee with sugar-free French vanilla creamer, Truvia.
Lunch: taco salad (lean ground beef and onions with taco seasoning, Mexican blend cheese, mixed lettuce, tomatoes, salsa, sour cream, hot sauce), one serving of tortilla chips, lime La Croix.
Dinner: one-half NY strip steak, salad (mixed lettuce, tomatoes, Mexican blend cheese, cuke, lite three-cheese ranch dressing), pickled okra, one tater tot, sugar-free Arnold Palmer (half tea, half lemonade).
Snacks: sugar-free blueberry-watermelon sparkling water, banana, string cheese, one Scotch neat.
Dessert: fresh strawberries with sugar-free Cool Whip.
Activity: 32 minutes on Wii Fit.
I said I didn't want to have alcohol anymore, for a while, because it takes my motivation for exercise away. I decided to have one drink tonight, mostly since I knew I wouldn't be exercising anyway tomorrow, with my back being the way it is. My head's been so crabby today. My dad brings Scotch every time he comes. It's one thing my dad and Husband and I all have in common. We love good beer and good Scotch. Dad brought some Glenlivet 12 and I was just so grumpy and my back hurt so much, so I just had myself a Scotch. It helped me feel a bit better too, by golly. There isn't even a tiny part of me that regrets it. I'm just putting it down to be accountable. Speaking of being accountable, I also had ONE tater tot with dinner. It was seriously the best tater tot I think I've ever had. I should've put a drop of ketchup on there, too, but I didn't think of it. Oh well.
Well, it's heating pad time again. I had a huge ice pack on earlier and I still feel kind of chilly. I much prefer heating pad time.