Saturday, April 26, 2014
I keep coming on here and saying I'm going to blog every X (week, month..etc) and modifying this promise when it doesn't happen. Let's get real here. When I originally started using the blogging side of Spark, it was an experimental thing with no promises made as to its regularity. The benefits of the act of blogging itself were what lead to it EVENTUALLY becoming a regular and consistent thing. Why I've been trying to force things to occur that have only happened before when allowed to do things on their own schedule I don't know but I've had enough of it.
Yes, I've gained weight back. Yes, I'm unhappy with my current health level. I'm not happy with the numbers on the scale but not horribly bothered by them. What bothers me is the general well-being side of things. I'm in the middle of spring cleaning on an acre and a half that has had 30 years to accumulate stuff and wear things out. Hubby and I loaded, hauled, and unloaded concrete at the dump the other day (they measured it at 1780 lbs. total). I felt like garbage the next day. Falling asleep on my feet all day! Yesterday I dug a hole in good old fashioned California clay with my pick and shovel, raked 9 wheelbarrow loads of leaves and mulch, planted a bush in the whole I dug and pruned a bunch of shrubs. Hubby hurt his hand in the middle so all pick and shovel work is mine for a while. Dug up half a flower bed. Had to go to the chiropractor to get my lower back in order and, again, wiped out today.
I have to go back to work on Monday and, sad to say, it'll be a physical relief. I used to be able to do all this and more and now I feel like I've been run over by a truck. If I hear one more person say, "It's hard to come to terms with our bodies quitting sooner and taking longer to recover as we get older.." I'm going to throw something. It's not my age people. I'm only 39 and my mother, who is turning 64 on Monday, can kick my butt at this stuff and recover in 1/4 the time. It's me. It's me not taking care of me.
I'm going to focus on the positive feeling of how much we got accomplished while my husband was on Spring Break with us. I'm going to look at the pictures and videos from taking hubby and little one to their first rodeo, taking little one mini-golfing for her first time only to get "help" from the neighboring pet store's calico cat who felt we shouldn't have to play with a dead cicada in hole 14 and tried to clear it out for us (I laughed so hard I was tearing up). I'm going to list out everything we've gotten done and remind myself how great that is. I'm going to do at least one thing on my never-ending "take care of the place" list a day, even if some days it's a little thing. Not every day has to cross out a "pick and shovel" entry on the list. Long day? I can pot that plant. I can haul half a dozen bricks to where they're being staged for future work. A baby step is still a step.
I hope this is not too rambly for those reading. This blogging thing has always been just kind of a place to sort out the rambles that are always running in my brain.