The Inspiration We Find In Others
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
A friend posted this story to her Facebook wall recently. I find a great deal of inspiration in it...and thought others would to. So here's to you "Cuppy" - your mom would be so proud.
"Hello everyone! This is VERY LONG but I wanted to share my story here to help anyone who is just starting out as well as to remind myself of where I started my own journey.
I am 49 years old and I have always had a weight problem. I remember being very little and knowing I wasn't "normal" with food. I became the chubby girl around 7 or 8 and I stayed that way until I was 32 except for a 40 pound weight loss as a 16 year old on that awful Scarsdale diet. I used to joke that I understood why someone eventually shot him after suffering through that plan. I gained back 50 pounds within a few months so I figured I just was meant to be fat.
I tried a few more crazy diets, half hearted attempts and I was never successful. I was over 200 lbs for most of my teens and 20's and I topped out at 232 the night of OJ Simpsons low speed chase. How do I remember this? Well I remember going to the store and buying hagen daz ice cream sandwiches to eat while I watched that on TV. Isn't it crazy at the things you remember?
This was a year after my Mother had passed away. I am an only child and my Mom was my best friend. I have no siblings, she was everything to me. She died while I was driving her to the Dr one day, right on my shoulder in the car. It was the worst time in my life. I was single and had no one. My Dad died when I was small. No one was left. I lost my job, got kicked out of my apartment and a few months later my best friend died of cancer. I got a job but had an accident at work (I was a pastry chef, the perfect job for a person with food issues)...and I broke my leg.
I was laying in bed one night at 3 am with my broken leg watching reruns of Dr Quinn Medicine woman and I got up to get something to drink and I looked in the mirror and I saw a very sad girl. My face was so bloated and I looked awful. I was only 31 and I felt like my life was over. I would get mad when I'd wake up in the morning and I was still alive. Losing my Mother was really the catalyst for my weight loss. That night I had a very strange dream where a beautiful nude woman with a very shapely body was getting dressed in a dimly lit room which looked like my bedroom. That dream was so vivid that I remembered it a couple of years later and you will see why when you get to the end of this story.
My Mom was a weight watcher and she lost 75 pounds when I was a kid, I remembered that and I realized that now was time. I had asked her once "do you think I'll ever lose this weight?" and she said "yes you will, but not until you're ready. " Boy was she right. I realized that I was wasting my life buried under a mountain of flesh and the real me was suffocating emotionally and physically underneath all the weight. I wanted to be the pretty girl just once in my life, I wanted to be the best me I could while I was still young. I went to my local Weight Watchers center and I went up the steep steps (it was an old building with no elevator and two flights of rickety wooden steps) on my butt while holding my crutches. I was that ready.
I had a great leader. I cried my eyes out when I got on that scale and saw 232. How did I let myself get so out of control? She hugged me and everyone encouraged me. I kept coming back. It took a year and three months and I reached my goal. I lost 89 pounds. For the first time in my adult life I was a "normal" sized person. I went to Lane Bryant and exchanged a pair of pants I had recently bought and went across the street to the Gap and bought myself something off the rack which I was never able to do before that day.
The weight loss resulted in my confidence increasing and I went back to school again and I became an occupational therapist. I had a drive like I never had before, I had three jobs and supported myself through school because I wanted a change and I saw that when I put my mind to something and stick with it, anything is possible.
I met the man who was to be my boyfriend for many years at that time and I enjoyed doing things like hiking, dressing up to go out dancing, wearing sleeveless tops and short skirts. The first time I wore a tank top I had to turn around and come home because I felt too exposed and I couldn't grasp that I was average now and not obese anymore.
One night , I was getting dressed to go out and I turned around and saw my nude profile in my dimly lit bedroom and I realized that the dream I had of the shapely woman getting dressed a couple of years ago was what I had become. And I was exactly in the same position and room as the woman in that dream so I think I must have known that I was going to do this for real because I dreamt my future before it even happened! The woman in that dream was ME!
Now all these years later, I have kept most off, I regain 15 to 20 pounds at most and then I lose it again. For someone like me, that is a great success. I have never been obese since those days. And when I over eat on occasion it is never as bad as it once was because once you know better, you do better and its always there in your head. Once you are a weight watcher it's always in your mind even when you make bad choices, you can never be the way you were before even if you get off track. I learned to treat myself like I treat people I love. I never loved myself and it showed the way I was treating myself. I realized that if someone else treated me like I was treating me I'd kick them out of my life so why was it ok for me to be so horrible to myself? It wasn't!
If you are starting this and doubting yourself and you think you can't do it then you probably are right. You have to have blind faith with this in the beginning because it's unfamiliar territory to you, you have to trust that if you follow this plan, it is going to work. You can't lie to yourself and say you are doing it and it's just not working when you are not being honest about your intake or whatever things you are doing that you aren't counting.
Weight watchers is a way of life for me. It's the only plan that is going to allow you to have anything you want as long as you are accountable for it. So trust yourself, trust the plan and trust the people here to be supportive and pick you up when you fall because you will fall now and then as you should because you are human. You can do it, millions have and so can you! You are worth it!
Thanks for reading and good luck to everyone! "