Tuesday, April 22, 2014
And now I have a rubbed-raw ankle to add to my blisters. Time for new shoes, methinks. Seriously, the back of my sock is caked in blood. When the frack did THAT happen? *lol* I am soooo hardcore. To be honest, when it started getting bad I was at the end of the riverwalk so I had to just grit my teeth and about face. I focused on my stride, my breathing, and my boyfriend's backside to keep from thinking about my feet. *grin* I'll admit, we took a wee bit of a shortcut back, taking the main road and cutting across, then coming up the back way to our apartment. It doesn't shave too much distance off, but it's not as rough a walk. The road we live on is so badly patched that the only thing that would save it would be to rip it up completely.
Anyway... I had my yearly "how's yer father" yesterday afternoon. The place I used to go to just stopped offering women's health and family planning services, so I found somewhere closer to home. New place, new staff (who are all delightful, btw), and all new fresh anxieties. I don't know why I go into full-on panic mode entering new places, but there I was going to an exam I've had several times before, totally routine, and my heart was pounding fit to burst, leaving me lightheaded and ready to hyperventilate. My body was freaking out, my brain was rolling its eyes and telling me to STFU. Unfortunately, this lead to my blood pressure registering way higher than normal. As usual. *sigh*
Now, it was in my medical records I had transferred over that I have "white-coat hypertension." I freak out in clinical settings, no matter how routine. The usual procedure is to take my BP at the start of the visit, and once the exam is over let me zen out for 5-10 minutes and come back and take it again. The 2nd reading is always much lower and more acceptable. This still concerned my old NP, which led to me buying a home monitor to show that my BP isn't up ALL the time, just when I'm anxious. Once I was given the all clear, I stopped monitoring. Welll... this WAS a very sedentary winter, and the boyfriend is a bad influence on my mealtime habits... and I've gained weight... (Ugh, thanks for reminding me, self!) so my BP was elevated more than even I'm comfortable with. The new NP, Jennifer, is concerned that it's not just my anxiety and wants me to return in a month and see if it's improved. She didn't take a second one right then, so I'm a wee miffed... long story short, I'm now overhauling my diet and throwing myself into getting off my arse more to show that my BP is fine, it's my "cat-in-a-dogshow" nerves that are causing me issues.
Part of me is really regretting telling her about my dad's heart attack last year. Technically, the question was "Has a parent/sibling had a heart-attack before the age of 50?" and he was 56, a smoker, and very sedentary. Once I told her that whole saga I got the furrowed brows and notations on my chart. *sigh* So here I am worrying my arse off about hereditary issues once again. Heart problems on dad's side, hormonal on mom's.
(I'm picturing that dude from Mad About You yelling, "why can't I WIN, Lord?" right now...)
We also discussed my job and how my previous NP wanted me to flat-out quit due to the stress it was causing me. It's to the point where I get nauseated and anxious on the drive in. :P Yay, retail. *gag* Other than that, we had a good time. I had most of the staff laughing at my happy-go-lucky self, and I came away with a gold star on my checkup chart. :)
In other random news, I'm really wishing that The Doctor would come pick me up for one evening, just one evening, so I could go back in time to find my childhood/preteen self and eat a big ol' bowl of salad in front of her. I'd eat the whole thing, making yummy noises the entire time, and laugh as she gagged in disgust. :D I have no idea when the salad switch was turned on for me, but there we are. Go figure. :) Maybe it's the crunch.
Aaaaaand I'm spent. Time to go doctor my ankle and rustle up some dinner.