Tuesday, April 22, 2014
After eating bad for the past two weeks, I've finally realized how far I have come in my weight loss journey. Its stupid of me to give it all up now. I just got to comfortable in the way I felt and looked that I thought I could eat whatever I want and I would be fine. Unfortunately those skinny jeans are getting a little tight.
Im an emotional eater, ill admit it. I eat when im sad or bored. I haven't really brought this up on here but I might as well. I do have a brother, he is 24. My brother and I were really close until he went behind my back and started sleeping with my best friend from high school about a year and a half ago(shes 20 now). That's when our relationship went down hill. If I ever tried to get with one of his friends or even try to talk to one he wouldn't have it, never have. He tried to hide it from me for a couple weeks and when I confronted him about it he denied it, lets just say we both said some things we shouldn't have and we didn't talk for 2 months. I tried to tell my brother about her, but he didn't listen. She had a kid right after she turned 16 and I saw first hand how she talked to the father of her baby and I didn't want my brother to be treated like that so that's why I didn't want him to be with her. About 2 months after me and my brother stopped talking he apologized and so did she about going behind my back. I told him just to be safe cause I just had a feeling he was going to get her pregnant. And about 3 months later she got pregnant.
She didn't want to live by her parents rules so she moved in with me and my mom, my brother was still away at school. She had no job, one 3 year old, and a baby on the way. She pretty much lived off my mom for almost a year. My mom bought her and her kid stuff all the time, didn't make them pay rent or pay any bills.
My brother moved back home in August 2013. Hope was born October 30, 2013 Everything was fine and dandy until she started saying stuff about my mom and me to MY own cousin. She was saying how I was never home and didn't do anything and how my mom didn't pick up after herself and how she was stuck with all the cleaning. My mom has 2 jobs, she had to get a second job to support my brother, her, and the two kids. I am a very independent person, ive had a job ever since I was 16, always paid for my own stuff, and bought my own car when I turned 18. I don't depend on my parents. It doesn't bother me one bit that she was saying stuff about me, but when you talk bad about my mom that's been nothing but nice to you for the past year, that's when I get angry. So being the person I am I said something to my brother about it, and that just started a huge fight, it all started on Thanksgiving. They moved out the next day.
I haven't talked to my brother in over 5 months. We see each other here and there but we don't really talk if we do its short and only a couple words and you can just feel the tension in the air when we are in the same room. I know my brother is going through a hard time because he is pretty much raising two kids on his own (while she is out with her "friends" until 5 in the morning), one of them isn't even his. I can tell he is unhappy in his relationship because he tells my mom and dad all the time he is. I want to reach out to him and let him know im there if he wants to talk to anybody about it. After all, he is my brother and I will always love him and Hope. I can just tell in the way he carries himself that he is so worn out, unhappy, and depressed. But i don't know if i should. I will admit i am very stubborn, usually after a fight i wont be the first person to contact the other, they have to contact me if they want to talk. I just don't know what to do... Even though i hate to admit it, it really is starting to affect me, i have been eating so horribly lately its not that im depressed just worried. My brother was my best friends, he was the only one i could talk to about anything. I just really don't know what to do?