Monday, April 21, 2014
I know that stress is one of the most commonly used words these days, I know that many others are experiencing stress, and that I am no different than them. I'm usually good at juggling everything that happens in my life, but I'm going through one of those times when I feel like I'm crumbling under the pressure of life. I'm hoping that blogging about it will help.
First: something to celebrate! I'm on day 21 in a row of my April workout challenge. That's right, I've done at least 10 minutes of fitness everyday for the last 21 days. This is a first. I've averaged about 20 minutes a day, and I'm really quite proud!
I'm getting it from all sides: husband is struggling (still, after 4 years) with his decision to move to Oregon with me and had a child-like meltdown where he stated he is seriously considering moving back, even if that was without me.
Next, I've taken on the very large job of a colleague who unexpectedly resigned, which is more intense than I could ever have imagined. I'm working very long hours, not getting breaks, and am feeling so under appreciated that I'm starting to have near anxiety-attacks just thinking about going to work. My primary assignment that my job rating and bonus is suffering while I'm pulled to my secondary assignment - all for zero incentive to me (I'm not being compensated in any way for this; if my primary assignment under performs in my absence, I may be rated lower at bonus time and lose out on money). I was already struggling with not having a good work-life balance, due to my work schedule and missing events in my friends/family's lives on a weekly basis, and this has thrown it completely off balance.
On top of that, my grandfather died yesterday. We haven't been close in a long time, but were when I was young. Nevertheless, a life was lost, and there is now a void left for so many people I love. Due to my schedule, I will not be able to take time to mourn and will need to press on. Also due to husband's seemingly sensitive mental state, have been unable to really share this with him and get support.
I know that everybody goes through rough patches, and this is just my time. I know this will pass, and I'm almost afraid to see how it will pass, what will happen. I'm afraid to admit that even though I'm experiencing some pain and frustration now, this may be just the beginning. As a result, I've been drowning my stress in some sugar :) Nothing too out of control, and I've been keeping up the daily workouts. With any luck, this to shall pass. Quickly.