Saturday, April 19, 2014
I ran my We Stand With Boston Virtual half marathon on Thursday. Actually walked it.
Today I'm not feeling very good, so I decided to go for a little walk. I stopped as soon as I realized my legs were hurting and not loosening up - I got in a mile.
I've been very cranky for the past two days.
I know I'm in control of how I feel and how I respond to things, but hubby is really pushing my buttons this week.
After the half marathon on Thursday evening I wanted to go out for a steak. I didn't want to go home and start to cook supper. Just go for a nice supper. Well, he wasn't too impressed with it. Acted like I asked him to spend $$hundreds on me. This a week after he dropped all that $$ on coins. I mean seriously. I ended up paying for supper anyway.
I'm getting sick and tired of this. He will blow $$ like nothing, then get on my case for buying $1 coffee at McDonalds.
The next morning started off with him cleaning up and organizing everything in site, with hints that I needed to get involved. Seriously. No consideration to how my body was recovering to my half marathon the day before. To top it all off, I've repeatedly been on his case with regards to how crowded the house is - how there's no room for me here. Heck, every time I try to take something out of the fridge, two more things fall out. Everything has to be stacked 2 and 3 items high. I'm sick of it.
I'm a clutz. I know I am. I've accepted it. But to deal with it, I can't deal with too much clutter. I've told hubby this. He just doesn't get it.
I've tried to not get angry when I get frustrated with these things. I've tried to just deal with it. But I'm ready to give up.
I need to accept that the way I respond is all on me. I hate being angry all the time, and I don't want to be. I'm just sick of it all. Time to find a better solution. And maybe I just need some space.