Got this from Isabel Foxen Duke last week, don't think she minds my sharing it... Can't find a link to an internet page for this. More about her is at isabelfoxenduke.com/
"Iím getting a little bored of talking about how ďrelinquishing controlĒ is the answer to your food problem...Iíd much rather talk about how itís the answer to your life problem.
Because heres the thing,
People donít try to control their weight in a vacuum ó they try to control their weight...to control something else.
When Iím thin, Iíll dazzle men everywhere and finally get a boyfriend.
When Iím thin, everyone will think Iím perfect and want to be my friend.
When Iím thin, people will take me seriously at work, be jealous of me, and Iíll get promoted.
When Iím thin, I wonít be lonely, because Iíll have the guy, the friends, the family and the white picket fence.
Trying to control our weight is really just an attempt to control the uncontrollable ó primarily, but not limited to, what other people think of us. (Tweet it).
Unfortunately, however, you canít control how people feel about you with your weight, because you canít control how people feel about you at all.
No matter what you weigh, there will be someone who doesnít like you.
No matter what you weigh, you will not be right for every part (or partner).
No matter what you weigh, scary, uncomfortable things will continue to happen to you.
There is nothing you can do about uncertainty in life...except stop trying to control it.
Let go or be dragged."
At first I didn't think much of it. Then I started to ponder if I have that kind of 'When I'm thin...' thoughts. For me it's probably... 'If I'm thin people won't think so bad of me' and 'When I'm thin I won't need to feel so ashamed of the size of my belly'.
Of course the next question, I think, should be: can I assume people won't think bad of me (or: not care about what they think of me) and STOP feeling ashamed of myself NOW, no matter what my size is?
Mind you I don't really feel she is completely right. I don't know that I want to believe that we overeat or eat emotionally ONLY because of life issues or out of a need for control. But she knows how to provoke thoughts.