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Hmm. Ouch. 'When I'm thin'- thoughts

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Got this from Isabel Foxen Duke last week, don't think she minds my sharing it... Can't find a link to an internet page for this. More about her is at

"Iím getting a little bored of talking about how ďrelinquishing controlĒ is the answer to your food problem...Iíd much rather talk about how itís the answer to your life problem.
Because heres the thing,
People donít try to control their weight in a vacuum ó they try to control their control something else.

When Iím thin, Iíll dazzle men everywhere and finally get a boyfriend.
When Iím thin, everyone will think Iím perfect and want to be my friend.
When Iím thin, people will take me seriously at work, be jealous of me, and Iíll get promoted.
When Iím thin, I wonít be lonely, because Iíll have the guy, the friends, the family and the white picket fence.

Trying to control our weight is really just an attempt to control the uncontrollable ó primarily, but not limited to, what other people think of us. (Tweet it).
Unfortunately, however, you canít control how people feel about you with your weight, because you canít control how people feel about you at all.
No matter what you weigh, there will be someone who doesnít like you.
No matter what you weigh, you will not be right for every part (or partner).
No matter what you weigh, scary, uncomfortable things will continue to happen to you.
There is nothing you can do about uncertainty in life...except stop trying to control it.
Let go or be dragged."

At first I didn't think much of it. Then I started to ponder if I have that kind of 'When I'm thin...' thoughts. For me it's probably... 'If I'm thin people won't think so bad of me' and 'When I'm thin I won't need to feel so ashamed of the size of my belly'.

Hmm. Ouch.

Of course the next question, I think, should be: can I assume people won't think bad of me (or: not care about what they think of me) and STOP feeling ashamed of myself NOW, no matter what my size is?

Mind you I don't really feel she is completely right. I don't know that I want to believe that we overeat or eat emotionally ONLY because of life issues or out of a need for control. But she knows how to provoke thoughts.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:

    Being thin definitely doesn't fix everything. I thought I would get more attention from my husband....and I don' he thinks I "danced my bu*t off", thereby decreasing the part of me that first caught his eye. (Part of that is due to ageing.)

I thought I would get approval of daughter and daughter thinks I need to get huge muscles doing Crossfit and my friends seem to be jealous which now, which makes me nervous.

Being thin doesn't even mean that someone is automatically more healthy....less weight doesn't necessarily mean that one is eating healthy or that one's body is operating in a healthy manner. There are plenty of thin people with health problems.
In fact, being excessively thin could either be due to a health problem or signify lack of nourishment.

Being thin can even draw some negative comments/feelings from others and downsides. My facial wrinkles are more pronounced (course I've gotten older as I have gotten thinner, so it may have happened anyway).

But there are some advantages to being lighter in weight and smaller in size.
For me, it has meant that I am healthier. I have been able to control blood pressure and all the blood tests come out good (except thyroid, and I can't help that)

Sometimes we are closer to a physical appearance that we feel is more pleasing to us when we look in the mirror. I do enjoy wearing jeans and not having a muffin top.
I do enjoy having a waist. I like to be able to feel comfortable in shorts and a swimsuit.

I find it easier and more comfortable to move. There is less wear and tear on my joints and feet. I feel that I can dance better. Since dance is a performing art, and our body is our instrument, the integrity of the movement is effectively conveyed with a body that can make the desired lines.

Health, physical appearance, physical comfort, and dance are what motivates me to keep at or near what I consider to be my best weight.

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DS9KIE 4/16/2014 8:44PM


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1CRAZYDOG 4/16/2014 12:18PM

    Yes to DRAGONCHICK! The idea is being comfortable in our own skin, no matter what and moving forward with tailoring our healthy lifestyle.

IT IS important to realize whatever the reasons are that we use food for comfort! It is something we can control and is available . . . that's part of it for me. The trick is finding things to REPLACE food in our quest for comfort. That's the "million dollar" trick!

So, there you have it. AWESOME blog.

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JAMARIGOLD 4/16/2014 10:36AM

    DragonChick said it perfectly!

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HEALTHY4ME 4/16/2014 9:45AM

    Hmmm when I am thin... I will be healthier and hopefully not hurt as much. If I can get my inflammation from arthritis and fibro down I will be happy. I have noticed the past year or two I don't think as much any more of I will be prettier, or I will not be a "big" sil, or such. I have mostly "grown" out of the wanting to impress or thinking I am not good enough, I just want my health back.... So sick and tired of hurting every day.


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DRAGON-CHICK 4/16/2014 9:30AM

    Oh boy...

When I'm thin...? Well, I won't be ashamed of my appearance, and can be proud of my weight loss accomplishment!

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