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    THETURTLEBEAR   63,471
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April 14, 1951

Monday, April 14, 2014

On that day, 63 years ago, my parents were married. They got to celebrate 60 years of marriage before my dad passed away in 2011.

I called Mom on this day in 2012, because I knew it would be a rough day. It was actually the beginning of a long plummet into depression from that day forward. Eventually Mom has found some contentment, but as she gets ready to turn 91 next month, her life has changed a lot with diminishing mobility and increasing mental decline with mild dementia. Last year her anniversary passed with no notice -a mixed blessing.

The anniversary still appears on my e-calendar so it was the first thing I saw this morning. My brother called a little while later and asked my advice: he was going to see Mom and didn't know whether to acknowledge. Two years ago her feelings were hurt that I was the only one who remembered to call and talk to her on that difficult day, so I understood his concern.

Mom isn't really very cognizant of the date anymore, so we decided to leave the topic unspoken. She didn't bring it up with DB or with me when I called this evening. Again, a mixed blessing but I'm glad she had a peaceful day.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
IMIN2GENES 5/7/2014 7:34PM

    That's tough... sounds like you did well following your heart.

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    Following your heart is a good thing- can't go wrong with that. Your Mom looks like a sweetheart- great picture. emoticon

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ADIOSALL 4/17/2014 1:34AM

    Poor baby. I'm glad she had a peaceful day!

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MENNOLY 4/15/2014 7:51PM

    My parents were married April 10, 1947. So last week on April 10th my DB called to commemorate with me that they would have had another anniversary. They both passed away in 2008 within 2 months of each other. However these special days still have meaning.

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JSPIN74 4/15/2014 9:50AM

    emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon emoticon So hard dealing with our parents as they age. It's hard to know what is "right" but trust your gut and your heart because they know. My thoughts are with you!

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ONEKIDSMOM 4/15/2014 7:36AM

    Nothing new to add... hard to know what's right, but it sounds to me like you let her guide the conversation and that might be "as good as it can be" for now. emoticon

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DUXGRL1 4/14/2014 10:15PM

    I'm sure that this is difficult. emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 4/14/2014 9:59PM


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DMEYER4 4/14/2014 9:58PM

  wise choice not to mention it. it is also my birthday today and it was also my dads whom I lost 33 years ago .it was a hard day remembering so maybe it is a blessing your mom can not remember the date

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JOYINKY 4/14/2014 9:45PM

    emoticon I think you followed your heart and made a wise choice. Hugs.

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1CRAZYDOG 4/14/2014 9:39PM

    ((((HUGS)))) When dealing with dementia it is sometimes difficult to know what the right thing to do is. I lost my brother 32 yrs. ago and Mom's memory is failing with her Alzheimer's. I wasn't sure either what to do and just figured, I'll talk with her if she brings it up, otherwise just leave it be. So, as it turned out, she remembered and we talked.

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