Friday, April 11, 2014
I admit it, I am a big baby. I use food to keep myself happy and secure.
Limiting my food intake turns me into another person - one that I don't like that much.
I am hoping that THIS time I can power through and get used to it. Learn to live happily on less food, less calories, less carbs, and less sugar.
If I can get to feel that this is normal for me, lots of positive changes can happen.
I have not been able to do this for over 30 years of trying up and down.
The only time I got close to my goal weight, I completely crashed and started gaining it all back.
I have always been "all or nothing" with my eating programs - or complete lack of one!
I understand now that I have always been dealing with being BiPolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, and a lot of anxiety problems. Even though I was not diagnosed until after my 30's for most of it, and after 50 with the BiPolar, it has been there the whole time.
Food has been the way that I self medicated and soothed myself.
Time to try something new.
Hope I can like myself a bit more as my moods go up and down as I get used to eating "normally".