Friday, April 11, 2014
Tomorrow I am starting fresh. So, I probably didn't pick the best day to do so considering; I have to fast, and skip breakfast for blood-work in the morning; I am staying up all night so that I will make it to said appointment in the morning (hence the extra time I have to update my Spark Page and write this blog.) I am over-educating myself with SP related data, and making a grocery list with suggestions from fellow sparkers, and probably then over-educating myself some more, before getting my daughter and father up and taken care of, watching them eat breakfast while I starve, taking daughter to sitters, and then getting blood drawn. I am already thinking up excuses to go to McDonald's after my appointment. So, I am trying to thwart my pre-self-sabotage with a healthy trip to the grocery store instead. My daughter will be upset because there will no longer be any chicken nuggets, pizza, ice-cream, and candy in the house. But, she will have to get over it, I am NOT letting her have to go through this battle in 10+ years. My dad is going to give me a huge guilt trip about not getting to eat what he loves (biscuits and gravy, chicken and dumplings, all the greasy fried southern sh*t you can think of) in his final days/years. Okay, I do get it, he doesn't have much longer, he should get to enjoy his food. But I have gained another 20lbs in the past 6mos because I am enjoying it right along with him. I have no self control. If it is there, I will eat it. And, if I don't want to end up like him, having a triple heart bypass at the age of 33 and then a failing heart altogether at the age of 59, I've got to start fixing things NOW. There is no hope left for dear PawPaw to fix things, but there is for me, I hope he can understand that. I cannot wait around any longer, because after one excuse is over, I will just come up with another, and then another, and then another. NO MORE EXCUSES! It's go time!