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    STEPH-KNEE   73,338
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The Dreaded "I don't care!" Attitude...

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Thursday, April 10, 2014



I have noticed over the past 6 months, I have had many times where I tell myself "I don't care" when I am doing something I know I shouldn't. The biggest example of that is overeating. I will physically tell myself "I don't care" as I find myself in the kitchen preparing to eat things just for the sake of eating. I will tell myself I'm not going to weigh my portions or track any of my food because I simply "don't care". But what I am realizing is that if I TRULY didn't care, I wouldn't be trying to convince myself I didn't care.

Okay was that hard to follow? emoticon What I mean is, when people truly don't care at all about something, they don't even think about it. It is not something that is on their mind at all. But repeatedly having to tell myself I didn't care ended up proving just the opposite. Do you know what happens after I overeat? Not only do I feel bloated emoticon and uncomfortable, but I end up tracking my food. I do it every single time! Even though I don't have the portion sizes exact since I "didn't care to weigh things", I usually over estimate to compensate for that. Then I end up feeling bad and annoyed with myself that I ate just for the sake of eating, and not because I was actually hungry.

I used to do this with the scale years ago. The scale would keep going up and I would say I didn't care. I really did, and seeing the number keep creeping up started to scare me for a while. But eventually, I really decided I didn't care. I accepted the fact that I would always be fat, and I never got on the scale anymore because I was sincere in not wanting to deal with anything concerning weight or weight loss. I ate fast food constantly, I never knew how many calories were in my food and I didn't care to know. I never exercised and I didn't drink much water either, I was in a total bubble of ignorance and denial and nothing was going to shake me out of it.



So as I was overeating this weekend and doing my best to convince myself I didn't care about my healthy weight loss journey and just wanted to eat, I realized I care more than I ever realized.

If I didn't care I wouldn't still be on this weight loss journey 2 years later. I wouldn't feel the need to track all my food, even when I told myself I didn't have to worry about it. I wouldn't be logging into Spark people daily, connecting with Spark friends and participating in challenges. If I didn't care I wouldn't ever think twice about calories, or fitness minutes and I would never get on the scale. I do care, and I care a lot. So I need to stop kidding myself just because I want to justify my eating.

Feeling out of control this weekend really started to scare me and make me second guess things. I have reevaluated things, I have refocused my energy, and I have decided which battles are worth fighting right now and which ones can be left on the back burner. Feeling in control is such a better feeling, and I am going to hang onto that for as long as physically possible. emoticon

In bonus news, I got on the scale Wednesday morning and I only had a .2 pound gain. At one point during the weekend I was facing a 5 pound gain because of my overeating, and I am so proud of the fact that I turned it around. It was the final weigh in for BLC 24 and I have lost 14.4 pounds during the 12 week challenge. I am very proud of that, and it just reiterates the fact that I really do care! emoticon


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMPIAN 8/10/2014 5:19AM

  You're doing well. emoticon

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TERRIJ7 7/16/2014 9:57AM

    emoticon

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LORIVIOLA 7/6/2014 8:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLLYONS51 5/10/2014 8:09AM

  emoticon I have been saying that since March 28th. I am starting over today. Starting with my enormous food intake, has to stop now.

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1DERLAND14 4/19/2014 8:13PM

    I think we've all been there!! Great job on recognizing it and jumping back in there!!!

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SHB0153 4/17/2014 11:43AM

    I too am dealing with the I DON'T CARE'S. I feel like I am in a deep hole and I can't get , my desire or "I DO CARE ABOUT ME" going again. But I still come to Spark People everyday hoping to find that switch that will somehow kick me, and I will get over these feelings. I AM STILL TRYING.

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GLMOM2 4/16/2014 10:56PM

    emoticon weight loss in BLC24!

emoticon blog!

emoticon

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COOKINGSTARS 4/14/2014 4:35PM

    emoticon

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PIGGYWAY 4/14/2014 10:28AM

  emoticon

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BOXER-MOM 4/13/2014 11:47PM

    YES...YES YES YES YES YES! THIS!!
I live this all too often I live this


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EJB2801 4/13/2014 9:35PM

    I've definitely felt that way before. You've expressed this so well. And your kitty photos definitely add charm! I think it'll be easier to remember what you said about caring when thinking of Catt Butler's poster.

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RAINBOWMF 4/13/2014 9:04PM

    great blog emoticon

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BEATLETOT 4/13/2014 8:48PM

    You are so awesome!!! I love your blogs, but I never have friended you so I can keep 'em coming to me quicker...I will now!

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LOLAJO54 4/13/2014 7:45PM

    wow didn't know you were writing a blog about me!! ---
jk--but you hit the nail on the head

thank you for a great wake up yell

emoticon emoticon

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DAWNDMOORE40 4/13/2014 12:39PM

    emoticon Good for you! I am glad you realized that you do care! We all have moments that we "throw in the towel" so to speak, but you got back up and got back on track! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COLLEENCONQUERS 4/13/2014 12:09PM

    emoticon

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 4/13/2014 11:47AM

    well said

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CARRIELYN56 4/13/2014 7:49AM

    emoticon

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TENNISJIM 4/13/2014 5:23AM

    Cool.

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WRITERWANNAB 4/13/2014 1:14AM

    Another great one! emoticon

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SUPERDAD55 4/12/2014 11:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOOSIEMOON 4/12/2014 8:34PM

    emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 4/12/2014 8:28PM

    I totally know what you mean about "I don't care". Right there now...

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PJB145 4/12/2014 8:02PM

    We care, we just don't WANT to care. Been there, done that, will probably do it again. But you said it yourself, you have proved how much you care by continuing the journey.

I know you have what it takes to get back on track. I know you can, because you proved you care.

Good luck and continued success on your WL journey.


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KELLEYAIMSHIGH 4/12/2014 6:45PM

  I was just saying the same thing to myself this morning. I lost 30 pounds and have gained back 20 of them. My belly is bloated and "I don't care!", my mood is negative and "I don't care". You're right - if I didn't care, then it wouldn't be on the radar. But I DO care. I'm so scared that I'm out of control and can't put the brakes on this thing. I am taking a deep breath. I'm having a drink of water. I walked today, for an hour and twenty minutes. I did all these things because I care so much and yet I am still fearful that it's futile and I will always be fat and out of control.
Today isn't gone yet and tomorrow is another day. I've decided that every intentional improvement in what I WOULD HAVE DONE is a victory. I drank ONE soda instead of two? Hooray! I walked AT ALL? GREAT! I didn't eat the whole box of cookies or tray of brownies? GOOD ON ME. Every intentional improvement counts.

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MAMA_CD 4/12/2014 4:14PM

    emoticon

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GORDON66 4/12/2014 4:01PM

  It's all about what I like to call creative justification. Been there, done that, I've already got stains on the T-shirt.

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DOILIEQUEEN 4/12/2014 3:36PM

    emoticon Love the pic of the small white kitten.

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PENOWOK 4/12/2014 2:23PM

    and we all care, too!

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 4/12/2014 2:01PM

  emoticon

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PATRICIA-CR 4/12/2014 12:45PM

    emoticon

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CBRECK77 4/12/2014 12:36PM

    I LOVE your cat pictures. They make me laugh every time. emoticon Insightful blog.

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GEMINICHIK 4/12/2014 12:28PM

    With you, too!

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FAIRHAVENQUEEN 4/12/2014 12:07PM

    Good job! We all give in to overeating sometimes, but if we get right back on track afterwards it doesn't do much harm. Checking in every single day is so helpful for staying on track. It certainly has made all the difference for me.

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TIHAITIEN 4/12/2014 10:45AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 4/12/2014 9:59AM

    well said

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MAC4902 4/12/2014 9:03AM

    Thanks. I needed to see this after the night I just had. I got up today feeling like giving up, but something drove me to log in and pointed me to your blog. Now I'm not giving in to that "give up" voice. THANK YOU!!!!

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SNOOPYLINKOS 4/12/2014 8:48AM

    So true! One day I was yelling how "I don't care" about losing weight etc.. and my daughter asked me to please not care so loud I was disturbing her! Then she pointed out just like you said, if I didn't care, why was I fussing so? You're doing great., congrats on the weight loss for your challenge. emoticon

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MOIMAGGIE 4/12/2014 7:10AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon on the 14 lost.

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DESERTDREAMERS 4/12/2014 6:55AM

    Well said!

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BLUEJEAN99 4/12/2014 1:59AM

    emoticon

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LIVELYGIRL2 4/12/2014 1:24AM

  That is a good blog.

Yah, we care about the results. Something we want to eat junkie or too much. Maybe it's a good thing we feel crummy or we'd go to the point of no return.

This is one reason I think we have to have treats or breaks sometimes, or one might not to binge. It depends if we can handle doing this or not. I think when we are to restrictive this happens. But some items seem to be too addictive. Remember the commerial about daring us to eat just one such and such chip...

Allt his takes practice, perspective, balance,a nd considering what really works... emoticon

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CORNERKICK 4/12/2014 1:20AM

  emoticon

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JAMER123 4/11/2014 11:30PM

    Great blog. There are days that I don't care BUT I always do my Sparks points and track everything so I really do care and get back on track!
emoticon emoticon

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SJKENT1 4/11/2014 11:06PM

    Battle for the mind and for health - thanks!

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SCOUTMOM715 4/11/2014 10:57PM

    I love this blog! i was actually having an "i don't care" moment today, but these words from your blog are what I needed. " I wouldn't feel the need to track all my food, even when I told myself I didn't have to worry about it. I wouldn't be logging into Spark people daily, connecting with Spark friends and participating in challenges. If I didn't care I wouldn't ever think twice about calories, or fitness minutes and I would never get on the scale. I do care, and I care a lot". emoticon

Congrats on your 14+ lb loss emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 4/11/2014 10:22PM

    emoticon

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EILEEN828 4/11/2014 8:48PM

    emoticon

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MIMIDOT 4/11/2014 7:17PM

    Great blog!

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DIANNEMT 4/11/2014 7:09PM

    You go girl!!

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