Day 13/66 - live for today
Tuesday, April 08, 2014
"If you want the world to slow down, just live for today"
Thank you, again, to everyone for being patient with me - I've had a lot of great comments on blogs and my pages + awesome goodies and I'm just starting to respond!
Boy, this illness really caught me off-guard. I was completely fine and then woke up Saturday morning with a terribly sore throat and the chills. I went to work and then straight home. I slept all day Sunday and went to work on Monday. I've spent all day in bed today but I'm feeling better...well enough to be social on SP, anyway :)
Work has been...ugh. I was gone for 2.5 weeks and came home to nearly 10 days straight of being on call. It isn't that I mind being on call, since it's just taking calls until 10 pm - don't actually have to go in to work. But it was just annoying to me that they were basically making me make up the time I'd been gone and giving me extra days on call. I said something about it and they said that they all had to take on extra days because of me. So what? It is so petty. I deserve my time off and I shouldn't have to make up for it with a week and a half on-call. When other people are gone, I take on extra days without complaint and I don't see them making up for it. The girl who is constantly on maternity leave doesn't come back and get 3 months of on-call duty. UGH.
So speaking of work, the want to "talk to me". They asked if I'm available for dinner on Friday night. No. In fact, I will be unavailable at all times unless it is during business hours. I am not going to give them 2 more hours of my time to choke down a burger while the tell me everything I'm doing wrong.
I know what they want to talk to me about: my attitude. Yep. Why? Because I'm too chatty with the staff. I apparently "loiter" with them when I should be working. Well, let me tell you something, I only "loiter" when I'm waiting to go into a room or when we've got some down time and my charts are all written up. Is it so terrible that I talk to the staff? They've told me before they don't want me interacting with them at all unless it is strictly work-related and they don't want me to loiter and talk to them about their day or the movie they just went and saw. Well, I feel like I'm in a weird middle place. I'm a doctor, so I have to act like one. But I am not a boss. So there are people "above" me and people "below" me but nobody at my "level" - the other associates don't count because one is the previous owner so obviously we're not in the same camp and the other is an angel who can do no wrong and who ,as previously mentioned, is constantly on maternity leave so we've never really gotten cozy.
How do you go to work for 2 years without becoming friendly with people? Am I supposed to show up, do my job and leave? Apparently so.
I'm a "yes" person - can you come in early? YES. Can you work on your day off (no extra pay)? YES. Can you work through every single lunch? YES. Can you drive up for a 30 minute meeting on your day off? YES. Everything is YES. Never a NO. This time, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind.
Food and Exercise - not great with this cold. I've been eating a lot of chicken soup :) I've also had ice cream to sooth my sore throat, although I think that has made it worse...I can never tell. I go back and forth wanting hot or cold for my throat.
Weight - I'm down to 182.6 and not because of my cold! It is real. Woo hoo!
So the quote at the top - I heard it on a TV show, lol, but loved it.
Especially when it comes to life (babies, work, money, etc.) I sit and think about how old I'm getting (my ovaries, too) and I realize that I spend so much time agonizing about things months or years down the road and I forget to enjoy the seconds, minutes and hours of each and every day. All things will come in their time whether I will them to or not.
I've said often that I need to focus on my gratitude list, so from now on, I'm going to TRY to express my gratitude only for the things that happened that day in particular.
Today's Gratitude List:
1) I am thankful for a day off to help me recuperate from this cold
2) I am thankful that my cold seems to be getting better
3) I am thankful for a giant pot of soup!