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Growing Our Family!

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

What a crazy, crazy week this has been! Some of what's gone on, I've shared with my BLC Sunset Stingrays team. The biggest thing of all, though, is what I wasn't free to share until now.

Most of you know that #2 son David moved in with us at the end of last summer, with Erik (now nearly 7) and Sean (4-1/2). He's been a single Dad since their mother left about 2-1/2 years ago. He has another son Marshall (11), the product of a failed engagement all those years ago. He has been living with his mother since his birth.

It hasn't been a good situation for Marshall. He was abused when they lived with her Dad. We complained to Orange County, CA, but he was not removed even though there was a substantiated case following an injury and police report. His mother has babied him terribly, stuffed him to morbid obesity, kept David and us from him when the whim struck, etc. etc.etc.

When David was planning his move here, he tried to get custody. No go, because Marshall repeatedly told/tells us that he wants to be with David - but he wouldn't tell the court advocate appointed for him. And why not? Because he knew she would cry, and he didn't want to see that! His mother subsequently moved to Utah to live with her mother. She has not complied with the court order to pay half of his transportation costs for visits here, so David has borne it all. He has been here one week of Christmas vacation, spring break, 8 weeks each summer.

He has a late spring break compared to Fulton's, next week. David has had a ticket for him for this coming Saturday.

He has been bullied at school, for quite some time. David found out about a week ago that Marshall had been suspended for losing his temper at school. A few days later, he found out that this was an indefinite suspension - because it was a second suspension for this. His mother "forgot" to tell David, and she had told Marshall not to tell him.

So, out of the blue, she told him a week ago that she might let him come here to live. It depended on what she found out at yesterday about how long his suspension would be. And today, she called to say that he's suspended for the rest of the year. She said she had talked with her mother, stepfather, and father about what they thought of Marshall moving here - and they all think she should let him.

Hallelujah! We'd figured all along that when he acted out to the point that she couldn't handle him, that this is how it would turn out.

So now we all have lots of planning to do! And soon we will all have a lot of adjusting to do! But we are ever so thankful that Marshall will be with us at long last. He will arrive Saturday with a letter from his mother stating that she and David have agreed to simply reverse the custody arrangements, with the plan that he will be with her only 5-6 weeks for this summer only, since he's already been with her more than half the school year.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This will be a difficult transition for you all. Prayers.
    1398 days ago
    It tookk me awhile to read your blog here. sorry. I haven't been on the Sunset board in awhile either. I hope Marshall's move was uneventful and the transition will be smooth for all of you. I suggest counseling for Marshall. And, maybe some of Nana's healthy foods and exercise! Sweet Thing! What a life and so young! I'm happy he will be where he is loved unconditionally and can now thrive isntead of just live!
    1399 days ago
    Hugs and prayers. I currently am living with my youngest daughter, her husband and there daughter. Life sure have improved for.Lots of adjustment for all but soooooo worth it in the end .
    1408 days ago
    Pamela, Praying things will work out!!! emoticon Janice
    1410 days ago
  • 4EVER21B
    emoticon and lots of prayers for you. Wishing the best for your grandchildren and your son. emoticon
    1411 days ago
    What a blessing on so many levels! Fantastic news for Marshall! How wonderful that he will essentially have a fresh start with strong family support behind him. Prayers that the transition goes as smoothly as possible!
    1411 days ago
    So glad that Marshall will be joining the rest of the family.
    1411 days ago
  • SAASHA17
    U have an amazing son shows his upbringing..glad Marshall is coming "home"..praying for a smooth transition for him and he is loved here!!

    1411 days ago
    I will be praying for a smooth transition for all of you, especially Marshall. And praising your son for never giving up his fight to "save" his son. That speaks volumes as to the kind of man he is. God bless your family!
    1411 days ago
  • JJ4493
    It sounds like this will be such a positive and welcome change for Marshall and the rest of you! Wishing you all the best as your family adjusts to the new arrangements.
    1412 days ago
    I am happy that Marshall will be living with you.
    I hope he adjusts well to the move.
    As a grandmother myself I know that you are tickled to death that he will be with you at last and you won't have to wonder and worry about how he is being taken care of while he's away.
    Have a happy reunion Sat.!

    1412 days ago
    I hope everything work out well for you and your family!
    1412 days ago
  • MALAMI518
    I'm sure that Marshall and the entire family will have a lot of adjusting in the beginning but that it will be so positive for him to be with you! Best wishes for a smooth transition. I know that there will be a lot of love to guide him.
    1412 days ago
    Wishing you blessings, and especially young Marshall. Hoping he thrives in your care.
    1412 days ago
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