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    ONTHEPATH2   48,267
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Struggling

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

This past week I have been struggling with motivation and keeping my focus. After looking at some things, I am blaming - are you ready? My success.

I have just reached the goal of losing 10% of my bodyweight. I have lost a little over 20 lbs. I feel good. I look better. So those gremlins that occupy my head are telling me to just stop here. Silly me was listening - for a bit. Then I gave it more thought and realised if I stop, I will go back to where I came from.

Where I came from was not a good place. I was not happy. I was not as healthy. Every piece of clothing I owned was tight or too small. I was out of breath going up the stairs. I didn't want to do things with people. I hid from cameras. I made excuses. I belittled myself. I felt lazy. I had no ambition. I rarely ate a vegetable or piece of fruit.

I don't want to go back there. So, when those gremlins tell me it is ok to eat a bunch of cookies, or pizza, or to have another soda - or to blow off going to the Y or getting on the treadmill - I try to remember that girl and those feelings.

This is one of those points where I would normally throw in the towel. Where I would say - yep I look good enough for summer, I am back in "normal" sizes, this is ok.

Guess what? This is NOT ok! This is ok for now, but I have other places to go on this path. I want to see what is up ahead and the only way I can do that is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and making the best choices I can each day.

Barb, it is NOT ok to quit. Have a glass of water......go for a walk during lunch hour......move on!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADMILL2922 4/11/2014 3:50AM

    I think this is a pretty common thing when people hit a milestone or a goal. It is really easy to rest on your success and when you do that, you fall back into some old habbits. I know the exact feeling and I know all about those gremlins. But good for you for realizing what was going on and now you can be proactive about it!

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SEAWILLOW 4/8/2014 9:00PM

    emoticon I hit the wrong icon!!!

Comment edited on: 4/8/2014 9:02:25 PM

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POSITIVEHOPE 4/8/2014 5:54PM

    Yes, it happened to me when I hit Onederland the first time. There was and might still be a part of me that doesn't want to cross that line in the sand. I didn't know about IOWL the first time but Renee helped me learn that those negative voices urging us to eat have a positive intent behind their messages. That negative inner voice wanted to help me? You gotta be kidding! I finally sat down and looked at that part of myself without anger. What are you trying to tell me? Silence. It took me a while but when I became really comfortable and accepting of my inner self and not angry, hostile or superior, I realized it started when I was a child and I was afraid. I thought if I was BIG I would be safe. So I got big. I learned to eat compulsively. The message, "Eat it! You know you want it. It'll make you feel good." was meant to make me eat because there was a part of me that was still afraid of being small.
The podcast that helped me sort it out is 213.
Episode 213: Yo Yo Dieting, Positive Intent and Chronic Fatigue
"Why is it that we can be so successful in some parts of our lives, yet struggle with our weight? If we could just get rid of that devil sitting on our shoulder, all would be well. Or would it?" She teaches you learn how to "turn the devil on your shoulder into your advocate." She is the one who helped me identify my inner little scared kid and how to talk so it listens!
Now when that voice speaks, I see it first as "neurological junk" thanks to Dr Amy Johnson's "Fighting the Urge." Then I talk to my inner brat and say It's okay. I've got this. I know you want to eat it but trust me, we'll be okay." The voice isn't nearly so compelling now. It just stops. No drama or willpower. It just stops!
Glad you figured it out before you regained. We work way too hard to settle for less than our best.

Comment edited on: 4/8/2014 5:59:42 PM

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 4/8/2014 11:13AM

    Oh Ya... been there so many times. You lose 5-10 lbs. clothes are looser moving better, not as short of breath after regular activities. Got it made, feel better now I can go and have that MacDonald's Cheese Burger. Not so fast. Better stop and think about it. You can do this. We can do this we want to get healthier feel better and live better. Better drink some water and go for a walk. I'll meet you at the end of the road. Hugs. emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 4/8/2014 10:59AM

    I've been in this situation several times.

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AKATHLEEN54 4/8/2014 10:58AM

    I love this blog as I think this is how so many of us feel after we achieve initial success. We look better, feel better, have improved self esteem etc. so we think it's OK to go back to eating and living the way we were used to. What we frequently forget is that that is the lifestyle that made us have to change in the first place and this new lifestyle is the one that we have to get used to adapting forever. It's not a bad lifestyle; it' just different, but better different and if we stick with it we will continue to improve. Rock on!! emoticon

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NHES220 4/8/2014 10:45AM

    You've got this. Congrats on the 10% mark - well done!
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