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    REMEMBER2BME   39,314
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I am doing better


Tuesday, April 08, 2014

First I want to start by saying...



You help so very much. I would be so very alone without you.

I think I am doing better. I am proud that I have made it a week. I am not crying daily any more. I feel I am bouncing back fairly quickly and I of course have mixed feeling about it. I know I will have many more explosions of emotions but I am hanging in there.

I think this really nails it....



A very smart and good friend posed this.
It is so very true. I must accept it.
I know I am still staying a bit numb and there will be many more ...



roller coasters / ups and downs.

YESTERDAY

emoticon I think I mentioned 4 treadmill miles and no dog walk due to rain.
emoticon I did start studying again and feel ok about the progress. Lots more to do this week. Not pushing too hard yet.
emoticon I took a fair amount of time yesterday getting out my super nice fancy photo printer that I have not used. I got it many many years ago. I hooked it up and figure out how to print from the computer rather than a camera card. It printed horribly... the ink is years old without use.

The result however was emoticon
A horribly printed picture of my boy Utah made me smile. It is right here with me as I type. i need him around me. I am going to go to the store today and pick up new ink and try again.

emoticon Last night we had lobster ravioli. It was great.
emoticon I slept horribly. I could not get to sleep until 12:30 or so. I usually go to bed real early. My sunburn seems to have turned into more of a rash. It stings and I just could not go to sleep. I tried putting mouth wash on it, vinegar and aloe. I took 2 motrin PMs and 2 ibuprofen.

TODAY

emoticon NO treadmill. I decided to skip it as I am trying not to overheat in any way in hopes of improving this rash. I took a cool shower and seem to be doing a bit better today.
emoticon I am going to the jeweler to pick up my Utah charm. I will take a picture how you.
emoticon I think I am going to hit the grocery and pick up ink.
emoticon I then need to come home and study.


Where am I on teh job search you ask.....

emoticon Well's Fargo - I am supposed to start a consulting position a week from Monday.

emoticon Well's Fargo - I interviewed for a very challenging other Project Management position within Wells last Friday. I don't know that I can take this job since I will likley move forward with the other (although I have not signed any paperwork yet). I think it would be goo to know if they are interested in me though. I felt it important to know (not sure why).

emoticon Last week Monday, 3/31 I had 2 interviews with managers for a job with Carlisle and Gallagher. They do not have an assignment for me but were interested in hiring me possibly anyway. I am supposed to have a face to face interview with a Senior Manager tomorrow. I feel kind of bad about moving forward but again feel it is the right thing to do in a way, just in case I am not happy with the option 1 above. So this interview in in Charlotte at 3:00 tomorrow.

emoticon Not sure exactly what I am doing with these. We'll see I guess.

I need to think about starting to work out early again to get back into my routine. Next week I have the PMP training course from 8:30 to 6 Monday through Friday. Then the week after that back to work.

Sunday is my Birthday. My DH wants me to wait on the tattoos but maybe this will be a good excuse. Only if it rains I suppose. If it rains we will not go to the acreage and therefore have time. No rain forecasted at this point. We'll see. I can wait of course.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIRIDDELL 4/13/2014 11:32AM

    So glad you are starting to feel better.

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 4/8/2014 11:44PM

    Prayers that each day continues to get better for you. Good luck on your job interviews and everything else that comes your way.
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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SWDESERTLOVER 4/8/2014 10:11PM

    Glad you are doing better. I hope that each day gets a little easier for you. I'm here listening and I understand.
emoticon

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DEBBYFROMMT 4/8/2014 6:30PM

    Maybe you should make a poster of all of Utah's pictures. Kinda like the visual stuff for sparkpeople only of just Utah. And put somewhere that you are a lot. A nice remembrance and hopefully a motivation to keep moving - for him!

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LIVINGFREE19 4/8/2014 6:00PM

    That is great that you are doing better since Utah's passing.

Big emoticon

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KEKEIKO 4/8/2014 3:44PM

    I really like the life quote. It's so true.
The roller coaster ride is still going on but you are coping and doing very well. It's okay to still have your moments. When they touch your heart the way Aspen & Utah did yours it's hard. It's like loosing a child.
I sometimes still cry for Mags. I really miss her. Mags wasn't sick, it was an all of a sudden boom she's gone. I don't know if I'll ever be over it but I just have to go with it because it's life and then death.

Wishing you well on which ever career path you decide to take. You have many options which is great!

Ink makes a nice personal birthday gift especially this tat. I'm not saying to go against DH but if you take on a job you may not have the time to get it done and you'll have regrets.

Happy studying! emoticon

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BLESSED2BEME 4/8/2014 11:28AM

    Good to hear you are feeling more peace with each day. You are focused and are experiencing healing here and there. That is progress and that is all you can ask for at this time.

Dinner sounds good. I've never had that.

I don't blame you for continuing to look at other job opportunities. Taking care of your best interest should be priority!

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SUNSHINE99999 4/8/2014 10:00AM

  very nice. Congrats on the progress. emoticon

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 4/8/2014 9:50AM

    I am glad that you are making progress! Life is about how we deal with it. Keep moving forward. Embrace your emotions when they come. It will help with healing.

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