Sunday, April 06, 2014
I've always said that Saturday morning is my favorite time of the week. Sunday evening is the least.
I go into kind of a tailspin every Sunday. Sometimes (like tonight) I don't even cook dinner, just eat bits and pieces of whatever.By the time I go to bed at around 10PM, I'm frequently close to tears and dragging my feet. I've tried and tried to figure this out. I wouldn't treat a bug this way. When I have guests, I cook a beautiful dinner that's at least twice too big. But for me? Not so much.
Maybe I feel weird about cooking Sunday dinner for myself when it's supposed to be a family thing. Maybe it's about not wanting to go back to work on Monday morning.
I wanted to start going to church again but then my car quit and now I don't have a way to get there. Today I've spent the day knitting my co-worker's birthday afghan and I'm happy to do it, but I'm kind of feeling like I'm frozen in cement.
I thought of calling the church I want to visit, but what would I say? "Hi, I want to visit your church but I can't get there?" What would THAT accomplish?
I've been told all my life that I'm not acceptable and that I need to hide myself away from others. I'm beginning to wonder if Fate or whoever else is trying to tell me the same.