Sunday, April 06, 2014
I was still feeling a little anxious starting the moment I got out of bed. I hadn't seen my friend in probably over a year and this is never a good time to see a friend you're not as close to as you'd like. It was going to be Bingo night and I was still feeling jealous of her because of all the perceived help she was getting. I know I shouldn't be jealous as she's in a tough spot and I didn't have it as bad. No one can compare their crisis to another.
I had stayed up late the night before, so I ended up getting up later to begin with. I've been having a hard time sleeping lately. It's getting more clear that I probably should seek professional help before it's thrust on me.
It doesn't stop me from having breakfast. This is a strong habit I've ingrained into my head.
Lunch was easy too, as I simply reheated the rest of my dinner from two nights ago.
The snow was starting to melt. That's a good sign.
Mid-afternoon I grabbed a granola bar. My son's starting to get upset that I keep eating them since I did make them for him.
I had my husband purchase and make dinner. He had to go out anyhow and I just didn't feel like shopping. I have not been in the mood to shop lately. It's not as fun as usual. He decided on nachos, I insisted on grass-fed ground beef.
I have to say I did not win at bingo, like usual. Her husband is not doing the best, but is still improving. It takes a long long time to come back from a stroke. It's usually an old person issue, but it can hit anyone at any time. I feel like I'm being selfish having mental breakdowns when others are having crises too. I doubt it's my physical numbers being off, it has been coming and going since my son ended up in the hospital. Deaths? No problem. Could have died too young? That seems to be an issue. It feels like it might be (self-diagnosed) PTSD and I want to get a professional to help me through it. Maybe even just talking about it to a person that's not in the middle of the craziness will help?