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The Importance of Friends

Friday, April 04, 2014

The last several months have been a roller coaster of emotions. Some days I feel determined to plow forward, while other days I simply want to stay in bed and let the world do its thing without me. The loss of Tommy, and then Thor right at Christmas, creeps into my mind daily. I suppose it always will. At first, I tried staying very, very busy to keep my mind off things, a form of avoidance I suppose. Still, it worked. Then I had the foot surgery and was off my feet for weeks. That left me with too much time to dwell on my losses. I realize that sooner or later I had to face the loss of my boys, but it has been much harder than I thought it would be. I’m slowly working through this with the help of family and friends and lots of prayer.

Not being able to get out and exercise also gave me an excuse to stay away from Spark People. In looking back I realize I was avoiding being here so that I wouldn’t have to think about my weight or lack of exercise. Instead, I started watching a lot of TV (something I never liked that much before) and spending more time on Facebook (nobody there was talking about weight loss). The sedentary lifestyle didn’t help my weight loss goals. I gained about five pounds back, so now I have to lose those all over again. One more thing to feel depressed about. Ugh!

I realize now how important family and friends are, especially at times like this. It took a friend from my high school days to make me understand that. He lives far away, but has called me every week for the last couple months to check in on me. Being friends since we were 15 years old, he knows me well and still knows how to make me laugh. His friendship during this time has been a true blessing.

I’ve also learned how important it is to make every effort to keep up with our friends because they too may be going through difficult times. Last week I learned of the passing of one of the dearest women I’ve ever known. I had become so wrapped up in my own grief that I had stopped communicating with many of my friends. I was devastated knowing that she had been there for me during Tommy’s illness, and I should have been there for her. I still have and wear the bracelet she gave me with the words inscribed “Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight” as a reminder to keep moving forward and to be here for my family and friends in the future.

My doctor finally told me I could drive again last week. I’m not sure who was happier, me or my son who had been shuttling me around, back and forth to work. My foot is still a little sore but I managed to get it back into a regular shoe this week. I’m not ready for a long hike, but I did load my bike up on Monday and drove to the mountains to ride on the New River Trail. It seemed strange riding without Tommy, but it was still nice to get back outdoors on a beautiful day.

I must say that another bright spot in my life the last few months has been little Sahara, who is not really that little anymore at almost 35 pounds. She is into everything, but that’s to be expected from a puppy. We’re still working on her manners, but she gets a little better each day. She can never replace Thor, but she has her own wonderful personality and love to share. After my surgery, she stayed right with me all the time and was great company. Even with her abundance of energy, she seemed to realize that I was not doing well and most of the time was curled up beside me. I’m so glad she adopted me!

As I start this day, I am more determined than ever to get myself back on track. I will make every effort to check in on my friends to see how they are doing. I will get outdoors and get moving again to reduce some of this anxiety and weight. I will work on improving my outlook on life and accept that there will still be bad days along with the good. I know that there will be bumps in the road, but like the words inscribed on my bracelet suggest, every time I fall, I will get back up.

Thank you all who have sent me Spark Goodies and messages. I apologize for not keeping up the last few months, but I will do better in the future.

Happy Friday everyone!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for your blog update.. Life does have its ups and downs. Skippy is doing awesome since his eye surgery 10 months ago.. Sahara is so cute and will learn quickly. I have exercise challenge to do at work this month.. its a race around the world with a team of 4.. our name is Team name is Boris, Natasha and friends. wish us luck... GO Team Boris !!!!!
    1425 days ago
    Oh, my dear friend! You have been through so much, and despite your thinking you need back on track, I think you have done well! Be gentle with yourself! Something told me to go to your page, as I wondered if you had gotten a dog. Sahara is so awesome! What is her story?
    I cried when I read your bracelet inscription...I have it on my IPad, it is one of my favorites and I get emotional over it, as life is certainly a struggle! I am so sorry you lost your friend, but I am sure she is looking over you, as is Tommy and Thor!
    I give you so much credit for what you do...do not sell yourlf short!
    You are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend!
    Love & Hugs,
    1427 days ago
  • NHES220
    I hope your foot continues to heal and that you are back hiking soon. Sahara is a cutie and it seems like our animal friends sense what we need. I just ran across your page today and I am so sorry for the loss of your boys - Tommy and Thor. I know you treasure the time and memories you had with them and that you do have the strength within you to move forward. Take care.
    1428 days ago
    Blessings to you!! Hope you been ok....

    friend, Wendy emoticon
    1428 days ago
    So good to hear from you Cindy. Glad you are recovering and able to get outside again! Sahara is a beauty! Welcome back , and know you have lots of friends here to support you:-)
    emoticon emoticon
    1446 days ago
    I missed you, glad you are back! Sahara is adorable!! emoticon emoticon
    1446 days ago
    So good to see you. Sahara, is adorable. Jack Russell mix? I love her name, and it fits her. I'm glad your foot is better, and your able to get out and about again. That will help heal your mind, body, and soul. Won't it be nice when you can take a true hike! Taking your bike out was a wonderful alternative. emoticon
    You are such a wonderful person, and I'm so glad we have become friends.
    Please know we are all here for you. emoticon
    1447 days ago
    So very nice to hear from you. You have already proved what a strong person you are with all you and Tommy and Thor went through. God always knows what we need and when. You have had plenty of time for thinking while being injured and it sounds like you are ready for action now. That bracelet sounds as if it was inspired by scriptures and I know you are a godly woman and I can't wait to see you get back in action! Hanging Rock, here we come! emoticon
    1447 days ago
    So so glad to hear from you. I was unaware of your losing Thor and of your foot surgery (I must have missed some postings). I am terribly sorry for your abundance of grief. You appear to have figured out how to master that demon, though.
    I have thought of you often and hope to hear from you more and hope against hope to meet you soon.
    God bless you, dear friend.
    1447 days ago
    I didn't realize just how much you were going through. I wish I was there to give you a hug and help you through it, even if just to listen or to do something fun with. I got deep in depression for a little while recently too and had to have help to lift me up because so much has changed for me as well. A different type of change but life changing for both of us. My friends especially online have been a lifesaver to me too! Hang in there.
    1448 days ago
    I think of you so often and wonder how you are doing. You have endured so much in this past year! I haven't sent you any messages because I didn't know if you were going to keep up with SP. I sure hope you do!

    I am so glad you have a new furry friend to help ease your sadness. This one looks like a real sweetheart too. (I guess they all are until they are mishandled by people).

    I wish I could give you a hug! Instead I can give you a virtual hug...

    1448 days ago
    I broke my ankle on Feb 8th and I think I would have gone completely CRAZY without my friends! I'm glad you seem you seem to be turning a corner and I'm very sorry for your loss!

    1448 days ago
    Thank you so much for the blog update. No apologies of course for being away. Life is simply or can simply be very hard. I love Sahara. She looks like an angle.
    emoticon Thinking of you.
    1448 days ago
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