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Using The Beginning Of April As A Starting Point...

Thursday, April 03, 2014

So, here's what happened. I started out the year great, and was even down 10 lbs within 2 months. Not quite sure what happened as soon as March hit, but all I know is that things started to go downhill, and I felt like I was sort of losing control. This past month has been filled with binges, restarts, lots of movie watching, more binges, oh yea, and more restarts. I was going to use April 1st as my most recent "restart" date, but decided against it. Not only do I think it's kind of cliche to start over on the 1st of anything, it was also April Fools day, and my weight loss and health goals are NO joke.

I don't know how it happened, but at 10:45pm last night, I found myself eating a whole small pizza to myself...and it wasn't even remotely healthy. Just double cheese, that's all I like. Don't get me was totally delicious and really hit the spot, but I realized that I need to stop doing this. I need to have better control over my portions. I don't ever want to eat an entire pizza to myself again. I can't say that I will never have pizza again, but who says that the pizza has to be the whole meal? Why not a slice or 2 with a side salad...that sounds like a better option. I guess I just like to go big or go home. Was anyone around when I ate this pizza? Of course not....who wants to eat a whole pizza in front of someone. This is what my BF likes to call "secret pizza", because that's exactly what it is. It's a secret that only I know about. I used to have a real problem with this...getting pizza up to 2 times a week. I don't want to have "secret pizza" anymore, and I don't want to lie about what I had for dinner anymore either.

I've recently started listening to Jillian Michael's "Slim For Life" in audio book form in my car. Some things she's saying are really hitting home and opening my eyes. What I have come to realize is that not only am I kinda, sorta immature in my everyday life, but I am immature when it comes to the food I eat. What do I go for when I am shopping for a binge? Sugary kids cereal, KD, candy and all that good stuff. Growing up, I probably got most of the food I wanted. Even in high school and college...if I wanted something, I didn't think twice before I ate it. I've indulged my entire life, and I don't plan on completely stopping, because that would be unrealistic, but my indulgences need to be more calculated, and almost planned. I need to GROW UP. I'm not a little kid anymore, and am almost in my 30's. The things I said in my younger days that I'd "worry about when I was older", are here...they are things I now need to worry about.

I think my maturity is gaining in other aspects of my life too, and I'm happy for the changes. So today is my restart (more than likely not my last either). I'm proud of how today has gone so far and figured it would probably be a good idea to come clean to someone other than myself. I'm not looking for perfection, and I'm not looking for a quick fix. I am more loving towards myself and am more thankful than I have been in a long time for all that my body does for me. I could say "I wish I had these ah-ha moments sooner", but you know what, I won't. I obviously wasn't ready for these kinds of revelations until just now. Hopefully they will aid in my never ending quest to be the best me I can be.

Here's to more eye openings and success...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PATTIE441
    You can do it girl! Great blog!! I totally feel like I could have wrote this blog. I have had a lot of restarts the past year or so, and now am ready to go! Let's do this!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1191 days ago
    This is an awesome blog and I can totally related to the "childish wants" that you talked about.

    It's amazing how a little bit of maturity and control can really help you across all areas of your life!

    Here's to us all becoming best versions of ourselves!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1210 days ago
    I love that perspective about "growing up"! I need to make more mature decisions as well.

    My go to "treat" after dinner? Sugary cereal- Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops, and Cocoa Krispies (Costco sells them in a huge box, all 3 varieties!). YUMMM.

    But definitely not the mature choice.

    Thanks so much for sharing! I've also had my (more than fair) share of re-starts- I can totally relate. Now I just choose the next opportunity to "restart". No sense in waiting until tomorrow or Monday, just start now, with the next opportunity to make a healthy choice!

    Good luck on reaching your goals!
    1210 days ago
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