Thursday, April 03, 2014
So today for the first time, someone spoke negatively about my current program of weight loss. I knew it would come at some point - it always does! But I didn't expect it from this person and I certainly didn't expect the brutality of the comments either.
But it's okay. I knew it would happen because what I'm doing is on the extreme end but I need it.
I have a food addiction. I am an emotional eater. I comfort eat. I eat when I'm bored. That's how I got as large as I did.
And despite what a lot of people say, it's not just as easy as being more conscious of what you eat because guess what - by the time you gain the amount of weight I did - it's become habit.
Habits are not easy to get rid of. Like children who suck their thumbs - I still know adults that unconsciously do this to comfort themselves.
But here's the catch, other addictions or habits are not required on a daily basis to sustain yourself.
I can't just go cold turkey - which is what you're saying when you tell me to just eat protein and fruit and veg and stay away from the carbohydrates.
I've never eaten healthy because if I did I wouldn't be the size I am. I've never had a healthy relationship with food. I've never had the correct idea of portion control. I've never had a solid understanding of the nutritional components of everything I eat.
That's why I'm doing this.
The whole point of this system is to distance yourself from food. To completely disassociate yourself with it.
THIS is cold turkey in the only way possible.
The packs that I receive contain all of my daily nutritional requirements - including supplements so I don't even have to think about pills.
This allows me the time and the distance from food to both get healthy and also train my brain into thinking of anything I eat as being fuel. And looking to other things, like talking about my emotions instead of stuffing candy down my throat, in order to better myself physically emotionally.
And at the end, when I've lost all of my weight? I get counselling and guides on portion control and a mangement program that teaches me to eat healthy for life.
I wrote the following after the conversation - because I had to sort out my mindset as it really did throw me for a loop.
I will not be mad at her. She just doesn't understand. People who have never experienced food addiction just won't.
I cannot allow the uneducated opinions of other to sway my path or stall my success.
I am strong.
I am powerful.
But I do have weaknesses and I'm currently trying to strengthen those parts of me.
I will use your negativity towards my methods as fuel for the fire burning within me.