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    PHOENIXREBIRTH   9,797
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update and problem with spending

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Here is an update for you on things dealing with me. For one I am now down over 20 lbs according to my scale and clothes are fitting better. I think I sprained my ankle though. I am getting pain in it when I step down on it sometimes. I seen my internist yesterday to get a recurring issue dealt with. She is putting me on a cream. I am to use it for 2 weeks and see her in 3 mos. I have health care now as well as Mom. I have a ride through logistics care to see my counselor next week Wed. afternoon. I turned 34 on Saturday. I am going through a study with Mom called the 40 day soul fast. I am also being constantly broken spiritually by God because of the fact that I spend too much and don't think about anyone other than myself. I have been having nightmares about losing Leah and it hurts to think I could lose her because of my spending. It needs to be stopped. I can not keep this up I need to learn self control when it comes to spending. I am learning a lot through my inability to say no to spending. I am learning that it deals with my past and that I need to learn to talk about it instead buy and buy more things. Things can't heal my past or make up for a father who was absent emotionally in my life. There is so much more I could say but then this blog would be too long for you to read.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGORA4 4/12/2014 1:05AM

    Congrats on the weight loss, emoticon

You're right, we all have things in our life that were/are less than pleasant. And we all have our own ways of medicating that pain. It could be food, money, sex, alcohol, drugs, gambling, escaping via TV/computer/moves/phone/books, workaholism, control issues, immersing ourselves into challenging projects. . .there's as many ways to medicate as there are people in pain. Some methods are easy to spot by outsiders, like our weight. Others are harder to see, and others yet seem to be even wholesome and altruistic. It's not the thing we do, as much as why we do it, and usually, overdo it.

The person that's always out doing volunteer work, to the extent that they're never home for their family, is escaping. The person that immerses themselves in their career, to the point that it adversely affects their life, is escaping. You happen to use money, and like all the other escapes, there are consequences. And the sad part is, none of the escapes cures the problem, just masks it temporarily, by filling our mind with something else for the moment. Only all too soon, the moment is gone, we still have the pain, and now have added consequences.

Wish we could think this through first, instead of popping that second serving in our mouth, or picking up that snack (I looked at that little bag of nuts I bought, that looked like a small single serving--it was supposed to be five servings, each just a few nuts, and it had almost 1,000 calories in it. It was barely a handful, didn't put a dent in any of my cravings, and left me with 1,000 calories closer to the next pound up--that didn't help at all! Same with staying up all night on the computer to stave off the bad feelings, or spending money on something we could have lived without. Short term fixes that are no fix at all.

I'm so proud of you. You recognize the problem, realize it has a source, and that this isn't fixing it. It's a poison laden band-aid, and you want to do something to pull it off and start some real healing. Very impressive. It's a huge step towards fixing the problem.

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AZ_CAT_PERSON 4/7/2014 2:02AM

    emoticon on the 20 lbs. loss. emoticon

I also have a problem with spending. I have had this problem all my life, if I have money I can not keep it, it burns a whole in y pocket needing to be spent.

Since you have done the first step by admitting you have a problem with spending, the next step should be alot easier. Give it to God and pray to him and God will help you find other things to do besides spending.

emoticon

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CAKAROO 4/5/2014 1:10PM

    emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 4/4/2014 8:01AM

    First, I want to say Happy Birthday! You're learning a lot about yourself and you are taking control of it. Really! You've lost 20 pounds! You're thinking about your life and you are aware of a lot of things! That's great! emoticon

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DEB62BIE62 4/3/2014 10:07AM

    I too have problems with spending. It is a spiritual problem for sure. I know that God will help us both. Good job on the weight loss.

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NOWYOUDIDIT 4/3/2014 12:46AM

    emoticon emoticon

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BABY_GIRL69 4/2/2014 6:40PM

    That's the first admitting and asking our Father to lead you and guide. Now you have a support system so you are doing just what He says....I am praying that God breaks the yoke that is upon & your family.. In the name of Jesus!!! Praise Him from whom all blessings flow. Amen.

God bless & we are all dealing with something.....

Dee

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FROSTY99 4/2/2014 6:22PM

    You have made a good first step by admitting you have a problem. Now to move on and deal with it in a constructive way. Praying that God will lead you towards a path that will show you that something other than trying to spend $$ to make yourself feel better will work just as well.

emoticon on the 20 lb loss. emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/2/2014 6:23:17 PM

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