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Journey To The Root Of The Problem...

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Wednesday, April 02, 2014

This journey is far more than simply losing some unwanted pounds. I was emotionally battered and I didnít even realize it, since I had developed so many unhealthy coping mechanisms. I would eat to suppress and then simply laugh it off. My usual reaction after walking away from the buffet with yet another heaping plate was to shrug it off and, with a laugh, say, "Oh well, diet starts tomorrow!" or " I'm defeating anorexia one egg roll at a time". Behind the smile and jovial sense of humor was someone who has lost touch with himself in a really big way.

So many times when I was working out, I would have emotions that would erupt from out of nowhere. I would feel like I was on the verge of tears, some repressed emotion from some past hurt was surfacing. I found myself taking laps in anger and it boiled over to where I would be acting out a confrontation with someone while walking, angrily grumbling to myself. That was a form of hostility and hidden resentment that was trying to get out. I had to give my heart what it was looking for - some much needed release and resolution. I needed to recognize what was happening and submit to the process.

It took a long time, but I am convinced that self-introspection and dealing with the issues is one reason I lasted as long as I did. You may put out the flame, but if the coals are still burning, the fire will re-ignite when the right fuel is applied. What I thought was going to be yet another attempt to lose weight became a transforming, inward journey. This, I believe, is where so many fast track ways to weight loss totally fail. This is strictly my opinion but it seems that people that strip off weight fast rarely get to the root of the cause. It takes time to work through the issues. For me, the weight was an outward sign of an inward problem.

Sometimes it hurts and, when food has been used to soothe inner pain, the process can be threatening. After living a life of avoidance, it was difficult for me to face issues. Like a boil, it would come to the surface until, one day, it was lanced by confrontation. The resulting tears were cleansing to the soul.

I have found that when the feelings come, let them come with all that they bring with them. Releasing myself emotionally has been a big part of putting out the fire that has been driving my binges. Unresolved anger, and anxiety can take on many forms and their origins are deceiving. I had to go through the uncomfortable process of confronting past hurts but it promoted the healing necessary to bring about a sense of resolution and stability.

I am convinced that attempts at losing weight when emotional eating issues are at work will be doomed to failure if this is not part of the process.

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  • v DR8561
    I agree with you 100%. I've been on and off diets most of my adult life, but only in the past couple of years have I really tackled the feelings behind it. It's a long, hard path but well worth the effort.
    816 days ago
    This rings very true to me. Many times those of us who find comfort in the arms of food also find comfort in the distance our weight creates for us from other people. It's our wall of protection. Only the joke is on us, we're only hurting ourselves. Congratulations on your self discovery and journey. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    816 days ago
    Emotional eating to find comfort needs to be explored, and the help of a therapist could be invaluable in working through the emotions, developing insight and instituting changed behavior. Thank you for enlightening us today.
    816 days ago
  • v DDOORN
    Been there, done that, re: emotions erupting during workouts...still feeling like there are many Vesuvius-es yet to blow, but keeping at it!

    I can't recommend heartily enough the immense value of having a good therapist, paid or otherwise, joining ourselves on this journey!

    816 days ago
  • v BLUEROSE73
    It's amazing how emotional we all can get when we are on a weight loss journey. I honestly believe there is an emotional component to the fat. That whatever emotion lead us to put it on somehow a bit of it becomes "trapped" in those fat cells. And as we loose it, we have to deal with the emotions it releases.

    Or maybe I'm just an overly emotional person
    816 days ago
    I so hear you.... feelings are not right or wrong they are just feelings and weshould not be afraid of them... they helped us survive whatever we were facing at the time.... it is cathartic to express your real feelings and let all the tears heal the broken parts so that we can go back and accept all those parts of ourselves we were running from.

    embrace the journey... it is not fun... and you will be angry about it...accept that... and live well during it. emoticon
    816 days ago
    emoticon I never realized that I'm doing that, too! I will be walking along, and suddenly I'm either imagining reacting to a conflict or reliving one. I think the imagining ones are my attempts to arm myself emotionally against such an event, but I get real feelings of hurt or anger or sadness. Thank you for pointing out what I've been missing!
    816 days ago
    Well said, Robert! You are such an inspiration, and you have a true talent for expressing yourself through words.
    816 days ago
    I was just thinking about this yesterday. Last year I lost 90 pounds, and I have put on more than 40 of it again. I try to explain to people how this can happen, and I know it's the emotional part of the process. I didn't get overweight without a lot of emotional eating, and changing that habit is SO hard! I don't enjoy being fat, depressed and sick, but there is something familiar about those habits. Just have to keep reminding myself that I deserve better!
    816 days ago
    emoticon Thanks so much for sharing such a powerful blog. My faith is what keeps me going and SP like you, that also keep me going. emoticon
    816 days ago
  • v JES_IN_ME
    Beautifully expressed! I think you are so very right!

    816 days ago
    I can understand went trough the same thing Way after little things came up Hurts needs not meet
    816 days ago
  • v COOKIE_AT_51
    Robert ... I really enjoy your sharing of your feelings and findings. I feel like I share so many of the "emotional" issues that you deal with and each time you write it helps me to think about my situation and try to get to the "why" of it all.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon for sharing with all of us. I am not as far along as you are but I am "in process" and reading your blogs helps to have those "aha" moments.

    emoticon to you ~ Spark on, Cookie emoticon
    816 days ago
    Thanks for expressing this conundrum so eloquently. It is not surprising that so many of us lose weight "that first time" rather seamlessly --- but that euphoria can be rather short lived if we're not doing the heavy lifting of the emotional overhaul as well .... the mantra should be something like "diet and exercise .... AND emotional inventory" because I really do believe the key to lasting weight loss is about the ability to balance and manage all 3 of these critical aspects in concert with one another. Great post to start the day! Have a great week.
    816 days ago
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