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Journey To The Root Of The Problem...


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Wednesday, April 02, 2014


This journey is far more than simply losing some unwanted pounds. I was emotionally battered and I didnít even realize it, since I had developed so many unhealthy coping mechanisms. I would eat to suppress and then simply laugh it off. My usual reaction after walking away from the buffet with yet another heaping plate was to shrug it off and, with a laugh, say, "Oh well, diet starts tomorrow!" or " I'm defeating anorexia one egg roll at a time". Behind the smile and jovial sense of humor was someone who has lost touch with himself in a really big way.

So many times when I was working out, I would have emotions that would erupt from out of nowhere. I would feel like I was on the verge of tears, some repressed emotion from some past hurt was surfacing. I found myself taking laps in anger and it boiled over to where I would be acting out a confrontation with someone while walking, angrily grumbling to myself. That was a form of hostility and hidden resentment that was trying to get out. I had to give my heart what it was looking for - some much needed release and resolution. I needed to recognize what was happening and submit to the process.

It took a long time, but I am convinced that self-introspection and dealing with the issues is one reason I lasted as long as I did. You may put out the flame, but if the coals are still burning, the fire will re-ignite when the right fuel is applied. What I thought was going to be yet another attempt to lose weight became a transforming, inward journey. This, I believe, is where so many fast track ways to weight loss totally fail. This is strictly my opinion but it seems that people that strip off weight fast rarely get to the root of the cause. It takes time to work through the issues. For me, the weight was an outward sign of an inward problem.

Sometimes it hurts and, when food has been used to soothe inner pain, the process can be threatening. After living a life of avoidance, it was difficult for me to face issues. Like a boil, it would come to the surface until, one day, it was lanced by confrontation. The resulting tears were cleansing to the soul.

I have found that when the feelings come, let them come with all that they bring with them. Releasing myself emotionally has been a big part of putting out the fire that has been driving my binges. Unresolved anger, and anxiety can take on many forms and their origins are deceiving. I had to go through the uncomfortable process of confronting past hurts but it promoted the healing necessary to bring about a sense of resolution and stability.

I am convinced that attempts at losing weight when emotional eating issues are at work will be doomed to failure if this is not part of the process.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JUDYERAE 4/3/2014 8:22AM

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XSTITCHMOM 4/3/2014 8:18AM

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ASCHU2 4/3/2014 8:14AM

    You have spoken your truth so clearly, that you are telling all of our stories. I don't know why our culture has valued suppressing emotions, but the reason I took over a year to lose the weight is that I had to figure out why food was my best friend instead of myself. Thank you for being so vulnerable today. You have hit the nail on the head, friend. Congratulations on your self-awareness.

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2B4EVERFITAT50 4/3/2014 8:12AM

    Awesome blog. I friended you on facebook. :)

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PINKBUNNY61 4/3/2014 8:10AM

    Awesome Blog. I have know this deep down but have been afraid to face it. Your word have just confirmed that I am on the right path.

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4RASCALS 4/3/2014 7:56AM

    Thanks for an awesome post. You are an inspiration. Appreciate your sharing your story with us

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MILLEDGE2 4/3/2014 7:49AM

    I hope you know how much your blog helps others. I'm clearing the tears out of my eyes and wishing you an especially good day of comfort and peace! emoticon

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 4/3/2014 7:45AM

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WATERDIAMONDS 4/3/2014 7:37AM

    You have given me a gift I cannot begin to explain, Robert. Thank you so very, very much.



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JUNETTA2002 4/3/2014 7:34AM

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CAL6563 4/3/2014 7:27AM

    This is exactly what I am going through. I am becoming a runner and my emotions have been really crazy! I think it's all those years of "you can't do that" and here I am doing it! Thanks for this blog and for expressing what I never could.

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CFMOSS 4/3/2014 7:19AM

    I think you put into words what many of us on sparkpeople have experienced or continue to experience. Thank you.

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HAPPYMENOW58 4/3/2014 7:03AM

    Very true and well said! emoticon

It's all in between our ears! It's not about a diet.....It's about our mindsets and lifestyles. emoticon Keep pushing because you are on the pathway to success....You have it now! Stay focused and tuned in.....The addictive eating patterns can return if you are not vigilant.....I know first hand! Best wishes on your continued journey.....

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BABS4625 4/3/2014 7:03AM

   

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BESSHAILE 4/3/2014 6:52AM

    Yep
Truth

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SHELTER-PETS 4/3/2014 6:49AM

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NYKIMMIE 4/3/2014 6:40AM

    Your awesome!

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MANDELOVICH 4/3/2014 6:34AM

    Wow! You are sharing exactly what I'm experiencing right now! After 30 years of BED, I'm finally doing the inner work for I know it's the only way, even if it's messy, slow and scary.

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PENOWOK 4/3/2014 6:34AM

    strong and confident now!

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SHARON7464 4/3/2014 6:24AM

    It's amazing as to how clear my thoughts are when I run...what bubbles to the surface unconsciously and then ways to resolve or address the problems...great blog emoticon

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NINETTE135 4/3/2014 6:12AM

    Tanx so much for yout post. I have been putting of my feelings for a long time, was raised to express my feelings as I need to be strong, tears are for the weak and you must always be able to help yourself, not load of on other people (or a dr). I'm trying to change that mental thought path, it's difficult. As soon as the emotion starts, it's so much easier to swallow the tears and pretend nothing is wrong. It has reached the point weher I'm not sure anymore what the original problems are/were. Anyway - thanks again for 'n great post, it helps!!

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CARRIELYN56 4/3/2014 6:02AM

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TRYINGHARD54 4/3/2014 5:58AM

    thank you for this blog.. sounds like me thru and thru.. I been here at S/P
for 4 years and I still haven't lost any weight.. I know I will get it right one of these days.

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SUNSET09 4/3/2014 5:53AM

  To thine own self be true and we all encounter our AHA moment! When we realize it is us and within us to change what we can and how it's in our power to do just that, we can move mountains. emoticon for the confirmation and another success story. What's for you, is for YOU! emoticon and emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/3/2014 5:58:09 AM

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SANDYCRANE 4/3/2014 5:01AM

    I agree 100% with all that you have said. You have a gift at writing and your words help a lot of people.


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YOYOGRAN 4/3/2014 3:47AM

    emoticon thank you for writing such a thought provoking blog.

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DALID414 4/3/2014 12:18AM

    Completely agree. I keep telling my sister to find a therapist or her own form of therapy that isn't food, but you really have to want it for yourself.

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KOHINOOR2 4/2/2014 9:36PM

    Excellent blog. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/2/2014 9:37:03 PM

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1CRAZYDOG 4/2/2014 9:14PM

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ONEKIDSMOM 4/2/2014 9:06PM

    Amen, Spark-son! emoticon

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LIVEDAILY 4/2/2014 8:56PM

    emoticon
Thank you for sharing this with all of us!

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123ELAINE456 4/2/2014 8:45PM

  Awesome Blog!!! Well Said!!! Well Done!!! You are doing Excellent Job.. Keep It Up!!! God Blessings Always. Have a Wonderful Week. Take Care.

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LINDAKAY228 4/2/2014 8:05PM

    I get so frustrated at all the quick weight loss products, etc, that is out there. For one thing they don't teach you to eat right, but also they have nothing about them that helps you deal with the problems that got us this ways. I know for me it's not just a love of food, but goes so much deeper on why I turn to food for happiness, sadness, and every emotion in between. THe good and the bad emotions that I want food to celebrate or to fill. Excellent blog

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REALLY_ROBIN 4/2/2014 6:47PM

  I loved that article about the slow runners....when I get back to running I will be proud to be a slow runner....I will be proud to be running period!

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WORLDSERIES11 4/2/2014 5:15PM

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LINDAK25 4/2/2014 2:53PM

    Let it out and then let it go!

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MPLSKEN 4/2/2014 2:31PM

    emoticon emoticon
You are so right about it taking time to work through the issues. In fact, it can take a very long time (maybe even a lifetime). And, that's ok.
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HARMONIUM 4/2/2014 12:45PM

    You make a lot of sense. And you could have been describing me. I chose wit and humor as my personal trademark. If I could not be or feel loved, at least I could make people laugh. And I could judge my audience and do slapstick, gently irony, sardonicism, knee-slapping jokes, puns, word-play, snark and satire.

I have a lot of difficulty releasing myself emotionally to others, but have really started to do so to myself and I have become braver about standing up for my ideas and my opinions without, I hope, seeming to be negative or putting down others.

Your blog made me think. Thank you.

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CARINEVE 4/2/2014 12:04PM

    You are spot on!

There are usually feelings involved when we get the urge to eat.
And if we don't learn to know ourselves while losing the weight, the problem will return and so will the weight.

I never thought I was an emotional eater, but when I got out of my denial phase and really did want to learn about myself, it turned out that when feeling hurt or neglected I would turn to food. What an eye-opener!
So now I still feel the urge when I feel hurt, but I now recognize it for what it is. It has nothing to do with feeding my body, so eating won't fix it.

Same goes for happy things: when I feel like celebrating, it usually involves food and/or other people.
I still feel that way, but I now choose other kinds of foods, or indulge in something small and really taste it to the full.

Carine

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SEATTLE58ANEW 4/2/2014 12:03PM

    It does make sense that when we grow up living a certain way, which includes eating wrong with alot of us, we're bound to have trouble down the road, if we don't hit it head on! It's like each one of us is a scientific project, to figure out our formula to live healthy the rest of our lives! Thank you for the insight!

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RUSSANDMIN1 4/2/2014 11:59AM

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DLDMIL 4/2/2014 11:59AM

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LUCKYLORA677 4/2/2014 11:48AM

    Thanks for that post. It was very insightful!

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LILIVW 4/2/2014 11:35AM

    You just described so many feelings I have been having. I am seeing a therapist right now to try to work through many of these inner feelings that I have repressed over the years. It is scary, hard, it's like being on a roller coaster at times and yet it is healing and cleansing and relieving all at the same time. I love your post. I love your honesty. Thank you!

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APPLEPIEAPPLE 4/2/2014 11:34AM

    Yes, very true.

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FITMOMMY1836 4/2/2014 11:18AM

    Very true. Sometimes the old habits take over again and we have to be reminded. thanks emoticon

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AGGIEKBEAR03 4/2/2014 10:44AM

    Very well said! I completely agree. There are so many emotions involved with losing weight slowly. It is truly a journey of finding and healing yourself. Thank you for allowing me to follow this journey of yours. I seem to find a lot of myself in the words that you say.

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GORIANA 4/2/2014 10:39AM

    Yes.

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AMAZINGAMY15 4/2/2014 10:38AM

    So very true and I love how you express yourself in your writings.

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2015TODAY 4/2/2014 10:37AM

    Very emoticon

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