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Feeling lonely...

Sunday, March 30, 2014

A year ago when I moved to a new city where I knew no one, I knew making friends wouldn't be easy. Almost 9 months later, I still know no one but my co-workers, boyfriend and his family. It's not enough. I need more.

This town has makes me feel so lonely. I go to the Y and I don't know anyone. It just makes me want to go home. Sometimes it's nice to know someone. Even at work, my co-workers are sarcastic, negative outlook people. I feel I am becoming like them. I hate it. I know I have been eating alot because of this loneliness, like I did in High School. Friends from my previous town rarely call or email. My family don't really call unless I call them.

After my commitment is up as an Americorp VISTA (in June), I have considered moving back to where I moved from. Deep down, I know I can't go back. That chapter has closed. Rent is too high in that town with little to none job opportunities. I could pick up from where I left from with those jobs but know it wouldn't be any better. They are part-time dead end jobs.

I wish I just had one person that I could talk shop with. And, I mean fitness by shop. Bless their hearts, my family and my boyfriend just aren't into fitness. It's fine. But, it means I need to find someone that understands my dreams and likes talking fitness. I used to have that person in Duluth.

Because I am so lonely, I am considering getting internet at my place. (My boyfriend lets me use my internet at his place like all the time. He knows I need the outside of this town connection.) If I do get internet, I have to wonder if I can afford it. I can barely afford anything right now and my car keeps having issues. Last month, my heat went out. Today, my car kept over heating. I sure hope this year ends soon and I can have a solid job with good pay and positive people. Windows in the office would be nice, too!

Thanks for listening!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    HUGS for you CM... reaching out on line is how I got ANY support, especially during the early days of my journey. Even now, I need my online family... Im so glad you are reaching out... I totally agree with other commenters, I would strongly consider using the Y membership to join some group workout classes. I went to a few step classes (was too afraid to before) and started making friends. It's hard getting out there but its worth the effort :) you can do it.
    1423 days ago
    I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I do think the internet would help you until you are able to meet some friends where you live. I also agree with the comments about taking a class at your gym or joining a running club or something like that. I hope you feel better soon.
    1425 days ago
    1425 days ago
  • MOMTO3BOYZ2000
    I went thru the same thing when we moved to a new town. It was a year before I had made any friends. It is tough and it is lonely. I can be hard to just "put yourself out there", but sometimes that is what you have to do. Find some groups that you are interested and give them a try. And don't give up!
    1425 days ago
    We have moved around a lot. My DW is very shy and has a hard time meeting and making friends. It took her a long time to find and make friends when we were living in MA. She has been able to adjust faster here in NY.

    I hope you hang in there and find some friends! I like the suggestions above, including fitness classes, running groups, and online groups. Is there a SP group in your new area? Is there an active crossfit group in your area? Are there any running clubs? Good luck!
    1425 days ago
    Hey hun - I feel for you. I have been where you are and sometimes still am where you are. Friends are so hard to find and keep when you're past university age. We don't do the same type of bonding stuff that we did back then, and everyone is just so busy with their own lives that it's hard to find an maintain friendships or even acquaintances. Not to mention when money is short, it seems like anything that you COULD do to make friends, you can't afford.

    Internet would help though. At least then you could find groups with similar interests. And any free classes at the Y or a gym that offers them would help. I also recommend HIGHLY finding a free running group in your area. They are GREAT for meeting fitness-minded people and usually come with a weekly commitment from most people who run with them so you see the same folks every week.
    1425 days ago
    It is difficult in a town to meet others. Just no two ways about it. Are you job searching? If it were me that's what I'd do. That would involve, of course, determining where you'd be willing to go. It is always such a risky business moving for a job.

    obviously, Jason took the job he had which meant we had to move from IL to WI. He had the job 6, almost 7 yrs. (just 2 wks. shy). **SIGH** IT is a nightmare. At this time don't know where we'll end up. So, I completely understand the anxiety you would have looking for yet another job, too. Can't see much of a choice, though.

    Of course, the other consideration would be you boyfriend. How would that work???

    Ah . . . . life is never uncomplicated, is it!

    HUGS sweetie.
    1425 days ago
    If you take a class at your gym (I don't know whether you do) I'm wondering if you could meet some people there that might become friends. Are there volunteer activities or some other places you could meet people. My husband isn't in to fitness either. Good luck!
    1425 days ago
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