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    BEEBEA   46,353
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Roller Coaster

Friday, March 28, 2014

Women going through infertility often use the term "roller coaster" to illustrate the constant cycle of hope and disappointment. Although perhaps cliche at this point, it's apt.

I've always hated roller coasters.

I'd much rather deal with low level unpleasantness than drama alternating good and bad. Also I hate actual roller coasters. It's part of my risk-averse personality. But apparently I'm on this one.

3/2 - I get my period - actually good, since we can start a treatment cycle now. It's go time!

3/3 - I order my fertility meds for this cycle, which is just letrozole with a hcg trigger shot to help me ovulate. Total is $200. ouch.

3/7 - I have an HSG test done to make sure my tubes are clear. It's briefly painful and slightly traumatizing, but everything looks good. Yay!

3/13 - I go in for a $250 follicular scan and see we have one really nice big follicle on the right side! What a great sign! The nurses can give me the trigger shot right then rather than having to find some other doctor's office since my RE is only in town on Thursday, so lucky! Trigger shot doesn't hurt at all!

3/14 - After a huge fight about Hubby coming home from a friend's house at 12:30 AM when he knew we needed to have scheduled intercourse, we have the worst sex of our lives.

3/17-25 - I have slight pain in my right side that doesn't go away. It feels like last time I had a cyst.

3/20 - I have early pregnancy symptoms like sore boobs and tiredness... or it's the progesterone supplements I'm taking.

3/26 - I go in for a HCG blood test. It's negative.

3/27 4:45 - I go in to my RE's office. He's very encouraged by my good response to the letrozole. He offers to have me do another cycle of that, or move on to injectables for which the medications cost $1200 a cycle, have more side effects including 25% CHANCE OF TWINS, but higher chances of working. We've talked about it before, and decide to do injectables.

5:00 - I mention my side pain and he says we can do a quick ultrasound just to see. The ultrasound tech winces when she sees I have a "giant" cyst on my right side. That's probably what we saw on the follicular scan and I never actually did ovulate.

5:10 - The doctor comes back in and sighs. He says some women are just prone to cysts. We can't do treatment next cycle. He says he hesitates to do more cycles of ovulation induction at all (my only known problem is that I don't ovulate) because the medications that address ovulation are exactly the ones that encourage cysts. He recommends IVF. We say no thanks.

5:15 - I make an appointment for another ultrasound after my period starts to see if the cyst has shrunk.

3/28 - I am refusing to deal with any of this. Closing your eyes on a roller coaster helps, doesn't it?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LAUGHIN_ME_THIN 3/31/2014 8:00PM

    That is a crazy roller coaster!......

Sorry this wasn't the month but keep your head up =) I know it is much easier said than done and though I haven't been quiet to where you are (all the medications/treatments....just metformin and weight loss for me), I know the struggle to have a baby. Your guys time will come!

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POSITIVEHOPE 3/28/2014 11:40PM

    The roller coasters stink. I always hold other peoples coats. Why pay to go on something that makes me feel sick. Infertility is the pits. So much hope and despair and scheduled sex is a sure way to ruin a good time. Many find they keep going through the cycles, treatments, expense and disappointments until other factors make the decision. I was one of the lucky ones to have 2 kids. Yes, it was worth it, jarring ride and all. Sorry you are hurting and losing a months opportunity. I will pray for you for strength, endurance and courage.
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