Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

    CAT-IN-CJ   123,810
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints

Day 25: I need a laugh

Friday, March 28, 2014

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:


1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a&&hole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your
money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n):The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that
are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally
walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets
stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n.An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
OUATEONE2 3/30/2014 10:14AM

    Those were great, thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BONNIEMARGAY 3/29/2014 2:32PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
LJCANNON 3/29/2014 4:50AM

    emoticon Well Done!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLEMIDG 3/29/2014 12:34AM

    Thanks for the laughs.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WALLAHALLA 3/28/2014 9:13PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 3/28/2014 8:57PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
2BDYNAMIC 3/28/2014 8:01PM

    OMG!! emoticon emoticon I ALMOST wet my pants!! seriously, so many funny ones, don't even know which to pick!!! emoticon and thanks for sharing!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVETOLAUGH56 3/28/2014 7:51PM

    That is too funny. Wish I came up with some of those.
I'm going to copy this blog and send it as an email. Too good to see only once!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    These were exceptionally great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TERRACOTTAGE 3/28/2014 6:00PM

    Still LOL here... and my belly's aching! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARITIMER3 3/28/2014 5:54PM

    thanks for the laugh... seen them before, but they're great and I needed a good laugh today too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GODS_TEMPLE 3/28/2014 4:11PM

    From the first list...I definitely agree with this one:

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

(being from New Orleans, where it happens all the time)
This is me trying to kill that mosquito emoticon

On the second list, this was my all time favorite:

Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

I definitely would have chuckled out loud...if DH hadn't been watching a religious DVD at the time! I had to clap my hand over my mouth! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MADEIT3 3/28/2014 4:05PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
BIGPAWSUP 3/28/2014 3:20PM


Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

Log in to post a comment.

Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.