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    PATTYKLAVER   225,170
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I Feel Like I'm In Limbo

Friday, March 28, 2014

Mom's still the same. I'm still not getting any answers from anyone. Anew nurse got grumpy with me because I asked her how come Mom still has a headache. "If she doesn't tell the doctor, then nothing can be done!" What the...

It's got me questioning myself. Am I being unreasonable? Am I coming across as a demanding, complaining person? Am I expecting too much by wanting answers and for Mom to get better? Am I not handling things right? Am I wrong for wanting life to slow down and get some semblance of order to it? What am I doing wrong?

I've had people at both the hospital and the rehabilitation center think that I work there. I've had people think that my niece who asks questions like I do is my daughter.

Oh, to have a vacation, a day off, or even just an evening to veg!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMLILA 3/29/2014 11:49PM

    emoticon But, isn't it their job to let you know how things are going, they've got to expect you will be stressed, and be more patient with you.
Not a good feeling.... Kind of have it myself, thinking of not being able to exercise with this sprained ankle.... I get on track with food and exercise, and this happens.. Not good.

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MSLZZY 3/29/2014 2:16PM

    Keep asking questions until you get answers! Can someone take over for a few hours so you can take a break?

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NPA4LOSS 3/28/2014 11:07PM

    You are,doing what is right for your mother.

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YELLOW09RED 3/28/2014 8:45PM

    Hi Patty,
I'll send up prayers for your mom n you. Always ask your questions. If you don't then nothing gets done.
I'm sorry you are feeling bad.
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DIDMIS 3/28/2014 8:10PM

    Patty I wasn't the most liked person when I was my husbands caregiver in a nursing home but if you don't watch out for them no one will.
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LEORAJO 3/28/2014 6:19PM

    You are right to question what is going on with your mom's treatment. Praying for you and your mother. Stay strong! You deserve a vacation and believe that it will come. emoticon

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IGNITEME101 3/28/2014 3:19PM

    I'm PROUD of you, Patty! You are doing a great job to 'question' the staff. emoticon


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STRONGERLEANER 3/28/2014 2:25PM

    I think you are being the voice for your mother, the advocate.

Hope that you will see some positive changes soon!
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HLTHAPPINESS4C 3/28/2014 1:25PM

    emoticon Patty! Wishing you some peace and that you will get the answers you deserve concerning your mom. You have EVERY right to be concerned about her health and to ask questions. She needs an advocate that cares and will see that she gets good quality medical care and that is exactly what you are doing. She is very fortunate to have a daughter like you. So many of the elderly out there do not have that. Hang in there and know that I will be praying.

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RAESUN54 3/28/2014 1:14PM

    I think you are doing the right thing. You need to ask questions, how else do you get the answers. This is your mother you are talking about and she deserves to have the best care possible.
I never use to ask questions and just went with the flow. But, I learned sometimes things have to be done and questions need to be asked.

I understand the need for a vacation. I am so tired, waiting on things to be done and have been waiting til things get solved or resolved, til I can have a vacation. It will come. And so will yours. Hang in there. You are doing the right thing now.

God bless your niece for being there with you.

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BERGBA7 3/28/2014 12:52PM

    Sending hugs and strength to persevere and continue to ask for your right.
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MOMMA48 3/28/2014 12:24PM

    Don't feel upset about asking questions and keeping on top of your Mom's condition. I do the same thing and it brings me a bit more relief when I feel like "what is going on" with my loved ones. Some medical staff will explain things wonderfully and then others will not. So, don't hesitate to ask anyone that is caring for your Mom -- the CNAs, doctors, nurses, etc. I have gone with my Mom to her dr. visits at times because she is one that is afraid to ask about a lot of her test results and what they mean--but I'm definitely not. Whichever way you need to find answers or explanations to certain things--keep asking and the answers may comfort both of you.

emoticon and emoticon sent your way, Patty!

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JANTHEBLONDE 3/28/2014 11:57AM

    Sending you lots of hugs!
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SPACEYKP 3/28/2014 9:06AM

    Dealing with medical issues can be tough but you are absolutely doing the right thing by asking so many questions. And you deserve answers. I know nurses have stressful jobs, but it is so wrong for them to take it out on patients and their families who are just trying to understand what is going on. It can be tricky and time consuming, but sometimes its all a matter of finding the right doctor/hospital/treatment center. I've been fighting medical issues with/for my husband for a year and half now. He had a doctor who just didn't seem to understand or care and just kept sending him to specialists without following up and never providing a real diagnosis. I finally switched him to my doctor who is spent time right away learning his entire medical history and is putting effort into finding what is wrong with him. If you're not happy with the care, trying researching your mom symptoms online for other possible diagnoses and find doctors in your area who treat that. If you're not happy with her doctor, healthgrades.com and vitals.com are good websites for finding a good doctor. If you and your niece have a little free time, maybe the two of you could meet with some possible new doctors or care facilities to see how you like them before you switch your mom's care to see if there really is something better out there for her. Having a good team caring for you mom will take so much stress off of you but unfortunately it can be hard to find.

No matter what you are definitely doing the right thing by asking all the questions and making sure your mom is getting taken care of! Keep it up and things will get better!
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SLIMMERJESSE 3/28/2014 8:28AM

    Stick to your guns when dealing with the medical profession. I've seen so many people have to fight this battle, it's disheartening. I feel for you; take care of yourself during this stressful time.

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PROUD-GRANDMA 3/28/2014 8:25AM

    emoticon

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FITMARY 3/28/2014 8:17AM

    No need to second-guess yourself. It's not you. It's the situation!
Having someone in the hospital is very stressful and no matter how good the personnel helping you are, they sometimes give into the stress as well. My advice is to continue to ask for answers, but as you do, try to remove the emotion from your responses to what is happening. Easier said than done, I know! But emotion makes everything harder in such cases.
Sending you good thoughts for a difficult time...


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