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    CONFUSEDBIRD   68,114
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Brace yourself for generaliziations

Friday, March 28, 2014

I haven't written lately cuz I can't write about what is going on right now. It seems everything has been affected by that. Work, friends, eating, eating and exercise.

Work, some ppl can't keep their mouths shut and went to my boss I put my two weeks in with and told him the "truth" why I quit. No that was not the truth. That was a piece of it. I am so happy I found a new job. Considering today is finally my last day and pretty much the end of the season until fall. I will be trapped in my car with this certain someone for 3 hours today. Then I will be losing her number asap. Lesson of the week, women can not keep a secret if their lives depending on it. I keep finding I can't stand one person at this job. Then I look behind me and figure out someone even closer to me is so much worse than other person. ok almost done!

Friends, one friend has gotten super weird about my news. She is anti children and it seems this news is something against her. She is ignores the topic totally yet we are good enough friends she still tells me about her TOM. Not sure she thinks she is losing me or will soon. Maybe she's ready to cut me off ahead of time. I have no idea, all I know is I have no motivation lately to contact her. I don't need excitement from her but ignoring me completely and not caring what so ever is not a friend. Especially when she was one of the first ppl I confided in 5 weeks ago and one of my best friends.

Eating has not been stellar. I am trying my best lately. Still logging each and every morsel that goes in my mouth just like I promised I would do if this finally happened. I shouldn't be so terrified I know. But losing so much and then going to having control. It is terrifying, how can it not be? I am just doing my best. My issue is I go from feeling icky to starving to death. I will be out on a walk with the dogs and have left feeling sick and in the middle become starving to death and then faint I am so hungry. Just carrying more snack bars in my pockets. So yeah calories havent been too low lately. But also I don't feel like getting full lately either. Just eating more little meals.

Exercise, I so wanted to run thru this period of time. I took off the first 5 weeks. Week 6 I attempted to run and got a quarter mile away and pulled a muscle around my hip.... Hobbled home and hurt for 4 days. So uhhhh ya that's why I havent run and it's killing me. Plus I have no energy to run. My dance class doesn't bother me at all. So I shouldn't be complaining cuz I have that.

I am still terrified to jinx any of this so not getting hopes up. Just figured I finally needed to write about this since I haven't wrote in a week today and it's because I couldn't mention any of this. Making blogs really hard and I really depend on spark for eating and exercise issues to be typed out. This has been one of my big worrisome of losing control and I need you guys for it.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHOOPETTE 4/1/2014 10:03AM

    I am not pregnant but planning to be and one of my close friends keeps posting articles about how great it is not to have kids and how she will never change her mind.
I also do think this might end the otherwise awesome relationship we've had.
If you manage to find a solution please share!

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BABCIATEA 3/29/2014 3:34AM

    good for you for making a positive change for life. It can be a little scary to uproot ones self. Blessings to you and yours

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DNJEN471 3/28/2014 10:11AM

    I'm so happy that you are leaving that place so that you never have to talk to that psychopath again. She is a narcissist! And you deserve better friends! I wish we lived closer to each other!! emoticon

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PHEBESS 3/28/2014 10:01AM

    You never came out and said it, so I won't either. But a quiet mazel tov seems appropriate. Even if it's for leaving the job with crazily competitive people and starting the new job. (Don't lift anything heavy for a while!! A long while!!!)

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JPONCIN 3/28/2014 9:40AM

    WOW that really sounds like morning sickness to me!!! I will pray for you because you have been waiting for a LONG TIME! Love you!!!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 3/28/2014 9:23AM

    If you are pregnant I'm very excited for you! Very happy!! You will make a wonderful mom! You are at the perfect age for it. I'm not concerned that you will develop unhealthy habits. You are eating for two now so more calories are okay. You already eat a great diet and are walking. Everything sounds good! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THESB25 3/28/2014 9:17AM

    I support you no matter what - I'm so proud of how far you've come and now with this news looming over your head I know you're terribly stressed. Try to just be you. Find what works right? Pregnant or not, I hope people will feel the same way about you and your friendships with them enough to stick around and feel comfortable. Everything is changing so just embrace it. I know I can't talk from experience, but I can speak from a place of love and I just know being honest about what's going on makes me feel so much more comfortable and free. Don't hide from a place you've found support in the past - I'd be heart broken if this news led to you going into hiding.

Congratulations and love to you Jules.

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LEIGHWOMAN 3/28/2014 8:34AM

    Are you pregnant????? If you are you never said anything!

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