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How Bad Do You Want It

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Today was one of those days. Days where you wake up happy and cannot remove the smile off your face all day. It felt like the happiness I felt yesterday just came rolling right into today. Fabulous.

The work of enormous proportions just kept rolling in. It's been a while since I had a day as crazy as this. I thinking probably not since my last job did I have so many people clamoring for my attention at once, and of course, all of the work is coming to me late, it starts next week, blah blah blah. Last week, I had a bad day where I became somewhat "unglued." My mantra to myself today was "I am an unstoppable force. I will not become unglued." and I didn't. Not even when a student staff member told me something was "not in her job description." I was very angry but took solace in the fact, that "I did not hire her," and I will let her direct supervisor handle it. (I am her supervisor's manager.) tee hee.

I could have left work earlier, but what does that do for the work pile? just extend it. That and I want to come in a little late tomorrow so I can get my oil changed in the morning. I am getting myself organized and that also means making time for what matters. I was also running late this morning, and my usual modus operandi is to grab a snack and eat it in the car. (It used to be a cheese snack, but those days have long past.) This morning, though, I did something different. Despite the extra time, I dragged out the blender, protein powder, spinach and dark cherries. I made myself a smoothie and drank it on the way to work. It was the important to do item of the morning and I didn't bypass it. Hurrah! It set me up for a good day of eating wisely.

Flash forward through the day, and I know I still needed to go to the gym. In theory, I could have taken it as a rest day, but I am already taking Saturday off, and I am coming down to the wire in my challenge. Truth is, I did not want a rest day today. Momentum is in my favor, so despite having a long work day, I still went, arriving around 8:45pm, doing weights and rope.

So I am continuing to tell myself, how bad do you want it? I could have skipped but I didn't. Why? Well, I am not seeing the changes others are talking about in my body, but I know how I feel. There is nothing that makes me feel as good as treating myself like I matter. I do matter, but I did not always feel that way.

When I started out, I was afraid. Afraid of a lot of things, dying, what others thought of me, How would I measure up, could I do it? You name it, I was afraid to try. I barely think like that anymore. I might not be ready for the (fill in the blank) now, but I will get there some day. It just comes down to how bad do I want it? If I want it bad enough, then I will be willing to do it. Right now, it looks like I want it pretty darn bad.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LISA579
    You are doing so great ...both mentally and physically...woohoo.
    1454 days ago
    Way to go! Glad you feel happy and you've started with good note making healthy smoothie. I drink smoothie every morning as breakfast and it gives me great energy thru out the day .
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    1454 days ago
    Awesome!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1454 days ago
    Thank you for another wonderful blog post. I needed this today!
    1455 days ago
    It's 9:30 PM my time and I was wanting to eat a snack moments ago. I've already eaten my day's calorie range and had a snack but there I was wanting. Then you come along and Poof! No excuses! How bad do I want it? Yeah, me, too. In 2009, I lost 50 pounds before anyone noticed a change in how I looked or made a comment. No one really cares that much about our weight. They are too busy with their own lives. Strangely, I first noticed a change in my face. Hope you are able to see the results of your hard work in your body soon. Until then, I marvel at the change in your attitude and dedication. You are awesome.
    1455 days ago
    You are emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1455 days ago
  • KMW987
    Amazing job on making some smart choices this week! Every decision is one step closer to your goal. Keep at it, you're doing great!

    emoticon emoticon
    1455 days ago
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