How Bad Do You Want It
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Today was one of those days. Days where you wake up happy and cannot remove the smile off your face all day. It felt like the happiness I felt yesterday just came rolling right into today. Fabulous.
The work of enormous proportions just kept rolling in. It's been a while since I had a day as crazy as this. I thinking probably not since my last job did I have so many people clamoring for my attention at once, and of course, all of the work is coming to me late, it starts next week, blah blah blah. Last week, I had a bad day where I became somewhat "unglued." My mantra to myself today was "I am an unstoppable force. I will not become unglued." and I didn't. Not even when a student staff member told me something was "not in her job description." I was very angry but took solace in the fact, that "I did not hire her," and I will let her direct supervisor handle it. (I am her supervisor's manager.) tee hee.
I could have left work earlier, but what does that do for the work pile? just extend it. That and I want to come in a little late tomorrow so I can get my oil changed in the morning. I am getting myself organized and that also means making time for what matters. I was also running late this morning, and my usual modus operandi is to grab a snack and eat it in the car. (It used to be a cheese snack, but those days have long past.) This morning, though, I did something different. Despite the extra time, I dragged out the blender, protein powder, spinach and dark cherries. I made myself a smoothie and drank it on the way to work. It was the important to do item of the morning and I didn't bypass it. Hurrah! It set me up for a good day of eating wisely.
Flash forward through the day, and I know I still needed to go to the gym. In theory, I could have taken it as a rest day, but I am already taking Saturday off, and I am coming down to the wire in my challenge. Truth is, I did not want a rest day today. Momentum is in my favor, so despite having a long work day, I still went, arriving around 8:45pm, doing weights and rope.
So I am continuing to tell myself, how bad do you want it? I could have skipped but I didn't. Why? Well, I am not seeing the changes others are talking about in my body, but I know how I feel. There is nothing that makes me feel as good as treating myself like I matter. I do matter, but I did not always feel that way.
When I started out, I was afraid. Afraid of a lot of things, dying, what others thought of me, How would I measure up, could I do it? You name it, I was afraid to try. I barely think like that anymore. I might not be ready for the (fill in the blank) now, but I will get there some day. It just comes down to how bad do I want it? If I want it bad enough, then I will be willing to do it. Right now, it looks like I want it pretty darn bad.