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    BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY   7,609
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ignite the spark


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The last two months in my personal life I have been struggling quite a bit with things. My depression has been very severe, which is why I have been absent. I hope sp friends understand. I am starting therapy and am trying to build myself up again. I also decided to make a "forgiveness list" which is something that I read about in a book. You write a list of all of the people you have ever felt resentment towards or still harbor ill at ease feelings with when you think of them, even people as far back as grade school. You write down the reason you are angry with them, the lessons you learned from them, burn the paper, and make a promise to go on with your life and release the negativity and hatred. I realized that there were people in my past I was still holding grudges towards that I did not even think about until now, and it felt really good doing this.

I have just been really struggling with some things that are hard to describe in words, but had to work on myself and just really get to the bottom of some core issues in my life. I just wanted to let everyone know that I really have missed everyone. Its always amazing how if you dont come on awhile, friends still care sending notes of encouragement goodies. I just love Spark. There is no other website I have encountered in my life where people promote such kindness and motivation. I just really need to get started again.

I have also been trying Emotional Freedom Technique. If anyone who doesnt know what that is its where you tap on certain accupuncture points on your body and relieve stress and it releases seretonin in the body, I believe there is a spark team for it here too! Its very easy to practice. Its been helping me, and instead of snapping at people or runnning to the kitchen, I have been doing this and am noticing myself feeling better. I recommend this to anyone reading.

I really hope I can get in touch with friends and that I can find my way again.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GLORY- 4/10/2014 9:39PM

    Sorry to hear you are going thru a hard time right now. We are here for you! emoticon

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PURPLEPEONY 4/9/2014 9:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CESAU5679 4/2/2014 4:58AM

    Thanks for sharing! That's one of the things that makes 5this site so great, the impact you can have on people all around the world just by sharing the good, the bad ans the ugly. And you're not alone...

Keep Sparking!

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SANDRA2BTHIN 4/1/2014 11:17AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AEGISHOT 3/30/2014 3:21PM

    You can fight it and you are really doing well with it right now. You are a strong person and that is why you can even right a great blog like this. March was not a too cheering month for me either (though its my birthday) but I have learnt to see some positiveness in all of the negativities and go on with life and living. I am happy you are back.

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STRONGCOURAGE 3/29/2014 3:45PM

    Its tough working through painful issues...but girl you are doing it! And that shows you are not giving up, and are giving yourself something good--love! & You are worth loving! So glad to hear of the different techniques you are finding helpful--its amazing what is out there when we reach out for help. And oh, I agree--this website has been an immense support, encouragement & help in my life too! Keep chasing your dreams...soon you'll be living them! emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 3/29/2014 8:33AM

    the number one on your list is also my number one,lol.i love to dance. emoticon emoticon

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RISINGBLUESTAR 3/29/2014 3:42AM

    We understand. Depression is hard to deal with. Depression and anxiety are tough and not everyone understands but there are lots of us who do! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Also, if you ever need to spark mail me just to vent or talk, feel free. :) I am much better and listening than at helping myself. :)



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PURPLEBIRD63 3/28/2014 9:08PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I'm glad you're back "in the groove" ;-)
Depression is tough, I feel for you. I'm glad you're moving forward.
I am interested in that emotional freedom technique - have to look into it.
Have a great weekend, my friend!!
emoticon emoticon

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KAYLSLYNN 3/27/2014 6:13PM

    M emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 3/27/2014 6:07PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SGTSUNNY 3/27/2014 4:37PM

    SO glad you are back, missed you! Depression is something my family seems to deal with and I think your suggestions are right on for dealing with it! I am going to check out the acupuncture sites and see if that might not help. Hope to see you on the team chat soon, we love you!

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JUDY_JAE 3/27/2014 1:33PM

    I have been feeling down also.. looks like you have a good support system here at Sparks..reach out to anyone of them

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1MIN17SECB412PM 3/27/2014 12:03PM

    Oh, Amy, that's sort a' like it's been for me too!! February had a lot of strange changes going on that really threw confusion into my life, with people who seemed angry and stand offish and then, this past month was creepy and toxic, and just blind-sided me. I almost lost it with the anxiety and depression of it all, but, yes, there were/are those who held me up and helped me through most of the negative and they were people I've met on SP.

I love the therapy you're getting to build yourself back up again and I'm going to have to try that "forgiveness list" you've discovered. Sometimes, I think it's not so much resentment or even ill at ease feeling as much as extremely hurt and feelings of betrayal from people one can trust, but not trust anymore that need to be addressed. I love that the promise is to the one who is trying to heal, rather than to the ones that did the trashing.

Sometimes, those depths you're talking about CAN'T be described using words. Thank the Lord you are going to get to the bottom and find the core. I've missed your loving SWEETNESS and am sooo *happy* you're pressing on despite the fierceness of the battle. You bring such HOPE for the rest of us, m'dear, and I can only wish and pray a hundredfold back to you!! emoticon

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JUSTYNA7 3/27/2014 8:40AM

    So many good choices you are making for yourself. Depression is tough. But... it is a roller coaster and hopefully your downs will be less frequent, last a shorter time and be less severe. I was in OA and a big part of the 12 steps is forgiveness. It really does make a difference.

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GODSCHILDAMYB 3/27/2014 8:38AM

    I am so glad you are making a come back! Depression is so hard to deal with, but you are strong and you are going to be okay. Welcome back friend!

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NEVERORNOW 3/27/2014 8:30AM

    emoticon I'm proud of you for tackling issues that are so difficult to deal with. The struggle will be well worth it! We're here for you! emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 3/27/2014 8:18AM

    I've also been struggling with issues the past few months. You have given me some great ideas and I am grateful. Thank you.

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SUNRISE141 3/27/2014 7:07AM

    emoticon emoticon I am really impressed how you are taking over your situation and changing what you can and giving the rest to the Lord. At the dollar store you can get plaques with the serinity prayer on it and i would suggest you put one up where you spend the most time in your house. I had been sexually abused by my own dad and some others until i was 12 due to lack of supervision by either parent plus verbal abuse till i was over 18 but it took giving my heart to the Lord before i could come to terms with all the abuse and God worked with me down thru the years in his time and thank the Lord i been a christian for 41 years in June and i am at peace with my life and love living . I am here daily if i can help you in anyway !

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CAKAROO 3/27/2014 5:54AM

    emoticon

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ILOVEMALI 3/27/2014 2:50AM

    I am so sorry to know that you've been having such a difficult time, and am happy to know that you are back with us. IF you ever need an understanding friend, feel free to private message me.

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SOPHIEDO13 3/27/2014 2:16AM

    I wish you well and good things. Usually I look back as far as grade school and feel sorry for the little boy I fought with in school, Makes me wonder if he harbors any resentment towards me... !! It's a two way street people have done things to you, and they feel bad later on for doing it, guilt is what they call it. Hope that helps that sometimes people have the problem but on the other end...don't get me wrong I'm not a mean person but I had my moments years and years ago and only a few times.

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GLAMNGLOWDIVA 3/27/2014 1:59AM

    I'm so glad to see you back here. I hope that the therapy will be able to help you out and open up.

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FLEMIDG 3/27/2014 12:20AM

    Glad to see you back. It is good that you are trying to get help for your depression. Sometimes we need help to get our lives in order. Hope things work out well for you.

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LIVINGFREE19 3/27/2014 12:15AM

    That is great that you are getting help for your depression. Depression can be so debilitating!

Big (((HUGS)))

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BARBIE176 3/26/2014 11:38PM

    emoticon you were missed. I am glad you are working on your depression and wish you much success! I love the poster and the options it gives as alternatives for Working on stress! emoticon emoticon

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2BDYNAMIC 3/26/2014 11:05PM

    emoticon ...... I did miss you and wonder and I am glad you let us know ........... I like the poster a lot and I pray things will get better for you ........ emoticon

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BODACIOUSCHICK 3/26/2014 10:22PM

    glad you're back! inward with your journey, no camping out in despair!

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STARLITNIGHT 3/26/2014 9:25PM

    I am glad you are finding ways to move forward and to make your world more comfortable to live in. Bless your heart!

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STEVEN_D 3/26/2014 8:54PM

    I like your stress less poster, too. I gave a short presentation on tapping once, I may have to go back and look again. I hope it helps. I am quite down too, because of failed relationship and was just reading about thought stopping and self-affirmations. I can't believe how much control I let someone else have over my thoughts! May we say, better days will soon be ours.

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RAPUNZEL910 3/26/2014 8:43PM

    welcome back and great blog! I struggle too and always find that sharing helps. SP friends are here for you!!

S

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STUDLEEJOE 3/26/2014 8:41PM

    great article


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