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    WILDXANGELS   14,782
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints


Monday, March 24, 2014

I feel like such a failure. If I had the gas money I'd go to a meeting. If my laptop didn't shut down on me automatically I'd browse the oa site. I have no real life friends. I'm on the outs with most of my family. Either that or they are busy with their own lives. I don't want to burden my adult kids. I wish God would just take me already. No I will not make any attempts on my life so please; no non-suicide pleas. I just feel so alone...

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SIMPLE_TAILOR 4/12/2014 5:56PM


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BEAUTY_WITHIN 3/31/2014 5:52PM

    *HUGS* You are not alone! You can say anything you need to here, and we are here for you!

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CELEST 3/31/2014 7:17AM

    This was written a week ago, but I only saw it today. I hope you feel better since then and I hope you will make some truly good friendships/acquaintances here. I have made some very beautiful/kind friends here. I have friends where I live too, but sometimes these are more what I need than the flesh and blood ones.

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NELLIEC 3/25/2014 3:15PM

    I am putting you on my prayer list!

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JTREMBATH 3/25/2014 1:39PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BATCHICK 3/25/2014 10:55AM

    You have friends here on SP, but I understand the need for a real life connection. Make yourself a priority and join some meetup groups so you can start to make some friendships blossom. Or perhaps volunteer and spend time giving to others in need?

Either way, you won't give up, and you'll get through this!

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CHERIJ16 3/25/2014 10:50AM

    During one of my lowest times a friend gave me a card that said: "It is always darkest before dawn". That has stayed with me for 30 years and it helps me to put things in perspective. Know that there will be brighter days ahead and be encouraged. emoticon

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KANOE10 3/25/2014 9:14AM


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KNYAGENYA 3/25/2014 8:39AM


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NEVERORNOW 3/25/2014 7:57AM

    You've made too much progress to turn back now. Sorry that things look so bleak right now, but you are not alone. You may feel alone but the fact is that you have many who care. Feelings can be very deceiving. Praying for you and sending emoticon emoticon emoticon .

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BUSYGRANNY5 3/25/2014 7:29AM

    Hugs and thoughts with you.... no magic words... but the faith and believe that your life will get better... I'm stopping right now to say a prayer for you.


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SUNRISE141 3/25/2014 7:24AM

    Wow i know so well where you are coming from ! I spend alot of time by myself while others are busy doing their own thing even my husband and he loves me dearly but is an outside person . This year we had 2 huge boxes of fire wood and a fire ring we just gave away because by the end of the day he is to tired to build a fire and enjoy it . My health is bad so i don't get out much and can't exercise at all because of my heart i get chest pain but i am thankful almost 4 years ago i took a 6 hour computer class and a friend told me about spark. About 1 year later i started the team GOD ANSWERS PRAYER and thru many health issues which i had to take steryoids ect i have gained back the 30 lbs i lost here on spark and kept it off for over 2 years . I am here for you if i can help in anyway please sparkmail me . APPRECIATE YOU BEING ON THE TEAM GOD ANSWERS PRAYER !

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MJEFFERSON23 3/25/2014 12:25AM

  emoticon emoticon

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MJ7DM33 3/24/2014 11:18PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FRENCHTOSD 3/24/2014 10:42PM

    So thankful you are a member of Spark People so you have us to let you know we care. Tomorrow is another day and we are all given a new chance. I know something positive will come your way very shortly and you will have renewed determination to go on. Best of luck to you and dwell in peace and love.

Sharon XO

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PEZMOM1 3/24/2014 10:18PM


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COCK-ROBIN 3/24/2014 9:40PM

    I'm still with you. And so is God, even if He feels far away for now. I too get to feeling so depressed and abandoned. So you're not alone. Check out Psalm 13:

Psalm 13

English Standard Version (ESV)
How Long, O Lord?
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, I have prevailed over him,
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalms like these actually lift me up, as I feel I'm not alone in this dark night of the soul. Neither are you.

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LOSINGLINNDY 3/24/2014 9:27PM


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MOTHERBEAR4 3/24/2014 9:26PM

    We're HERE! Don't give up ~ emoticon emoticon emoticon BACK!!!

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KITT52 3/24/2014 7:30PM

    you are not alone...Believe in your self and find a higher power..for me it's the Lord...and never forget you have your spark friends...there are lot of us..join teams where people are always posting and find a friend who can share with you

remember you are loved .....

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 3/24/2014 7:14PM


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JOMAMA 3/24/2014 6:55PM

    You know that you should never give up on yourself as that is how you titled your blog. Hang in there and speak to your children. They can help you, and I am sure that they want you to be happy. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAMBABY0 3/24/2014 6:38PM

    Talk to your kids, as a daughter and a mom I have to say they want you to bother them! They want to know you need them. My mother and I were best friends and I have to say when she was hurting mentally/physically, or sad or anything she would yell for her dad, ask God the same question you are asking and I have to say that hurt so bad, I still want her, I still need her and would give anything to still have her so please talk to your kids, they still need you and they still want you!

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MRSCLARK 3/24/2014 6:34PM

    i can relate to you totoally.I'm feeling the same way and even withdrawing from the internet and sharing about it even here.I'm glad I decided to get online and check my mail.I need to find other people that I can relate to that have blogs that I can subscribe to.

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MOTTAMAMALOU 3/24/2014 6:32PM


Never give up. Now you have to do what it says.
emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/24/2014 6:33:20 PM

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03191952 3/24/2014 6:30PM

  soory to hear that, don't give up though, look on the bright side, you have us at 'sparkle', hang in there, tomorrow will be better

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