Monday, March 24, 2014
I checked the mirror this morning and found the face of a perplexed woman staring back at me. I saw that I looked a wee bit confused and had to ask myself what was causing that look. Glancing down at my body, I noted that I was not carrying myself as positively as I had 4 months ago and that my posture was slightly off center.
The scale said that I was 12 pounds up from my lowest weight thus far. Maybe that is the reason for the face in the mirror and the change in posture. I looked back at what I have and haven't been doing since my surgery in January and the correlation between that, my weight, and how I am feeling.
The biggest change of note (besides having surgery and not being able to do much for almost 5 weeks) is that I haven't blogged in a darned long time - some 2 months. Blogging is how I have always helped kept myself on track and kept myself honest. It is my form of self-examination and self-checking, as well as a means to get the advice and opinions of the people on SP whom I trust and respect. I find, as I write this, that I have the sense that I let myself fall off my own radar by not blogging and putting my thoughts into much-needed words so that I can see and process what I am doing on my journey.
I have actually felt a bit guilty for not blogging, as well. I am still learning that guilt is a destructive emotion that causes me to feed into negative behaviors, so I find that it is something I must keep a fervent eye on. I must do that to keep myself in a healthy mindset and keep moving forward.
I realize nobody's journey is static and all have their ups and downs. This has to be my wake-up call and I need to use it as such.